Funny Vasectomy Meme Novels & Stories

“So, you took control.” “Yes, I did Leo” he said. “In the only way I felt I could, that was a vasectomy. I told myself I was never going to bring a child into a world where I wasn’t fully present as its parent and also not available to help my wife and partner too. I wasn’t ready then since it was somehow forced—and I didn’t know if I ever would be ready if I didn’t prepare myself to be with the person I loved.” “You should have told me sooner, maybe answer my calls or text, we were best friends before fucking” she whispered.

Roaring, he grabbed my neck, choking me. "You're nothing but a bitch!" He bellowed, yanking me away roughly. I staggered, trying to keep upright. "You're the only one who sleeps me with, how dare you deny it now." He moved closer, squatting before me. "Yes, we I do fuck with you but there's definitely no way I'm going to get you pregnant after undergoing vasectomy." I gasped, stunned. Vasectomy? "Do you get it now?" An evil grin tugged at the corner of his lips, "I did that to stop bitches like you who know nothing but trapping down men with fucking pregnancies."

Stella was shocked. She thought that Keegan was spewing nonsense since he was drunk. "I can't believe you can make stuff up like that just to sleep with me," she pinched his face and whispered. "I'm telling you the truth. I had a vasectomy years ago," Keegan said solemnly. Stella dismissed his words and said, "Where's the scar then? You claim to have had a vasectomy years ago. We were still married then, so how come I never saw any of your scars? Are vasectomies nowadays so advanced?"

His voice dipped. “Why the mood?” I teased. “Because having your sweet walls clench me raw is divine. It’s a bliss I want forever.” he whispered, nibbling my ears. Heat rushed beneath my cheeks and between my legs again. Just his words had me wet. “I know, right? I enjoyed it too,” I drawled. “So… get a vasectomy.” I joked. “Okay,” he shrugged, eyes on the ceiling. “Okay?” I blinked. Shocked. Most men wouldn’t even joke about that.

(That was the little joke I made up to lighten the mood in my head. I found one story that had seven chapters. It was called "The Vasectomy". It was about a girl and her father, of course. Her dad wanted to have a vasectomy, and she ended up going with him to the clinic. Once they got there, her dad got cold feet. They somehow managed to get into a room where he could lie down before the procedure. The daughter (Daniel) innocently convinces her dad that masturbating might help put him at ease. And that leads to her ultimately doing the job for him. It was such a hot scene, my pussy was completely drenched after just the first chapter. (I had to change tampons frequently while I read through

I sighed. “I am sorry, Kai,” Ty mumbled as he hugged me closer to his chest. “There is nothing to apologize, babe. I guess you are right. We should both get a vasectomy done. I don’t want you to get pregnant too when you play bottom,” I teased. “Yeah we all know that’s not gonna happen,” Ty chuckled. “And as for the vasectomy, I do agree. There is no love with rubber glove,” he sang out and I couldn’t help but giggle at my silly mate.

I sighed. “I am sorry, Kai,” Ty mumbled as he hugged me closer to his chest. “There is nothing to apologize, babe. I guess you are right. We should both get a vasectomy done. I don’t want you to get pregnant too when you play bottom,” I teased. “Yeah we all know that’s not gonna happen,” Ty chuckled. “And as for the vasectomy, I do agree. There is no love with rubber glove,” he sang out and I couldn’t help but giggle at my silly mate.

“Fair enough. You don’t want kids *today*. But what if in fifteen years you change your mind? Or worse—what if tomorrow you have an accident and lose your balls?” “I’d thank my lucky stars,” I said, dead serious. “As for changing my mind… that’s not happening. I’m sure of this.” “Have you at least considered freezing your sperm before the procedure?” “Nope. Didn’t cross my mind. I *really* don’t want kids.” I wasn’t sure if the guy had a hearing problem or what. “Doc, I don’t need a sperm vault.” I smirked, dripping sarcasm. “I’ve got hard data: 27% of men who get vasectomies before 35 without banking sperm try to reverse it later. Of those who can’t, over half end up in deep depression.”

She was running her fingers in a circular motion to ease him up. Surely it was shocking to hear that he got a vasectomy done, but it was good that he prioritized himself over others. “After coming back from my vacation I informed my parents about the vasectomy. They were not happy about it. Because they had to give up the idea of being grandparents and grandkids. But they stood by me, they understood the reasons behind my surgery and never questioned me.” “I love your parents already, I like them being supportive of you and loving you.”

His charming, handsome face hovered above me, looking hesitant. “Why are you holding back?” He let out a groan and dropped his head between my breasts, giving a soft kiss to my breast before looking at me. “I don’t have a condom with me.” I pursed my lips and squirmed until my back settled comfortably, his eyes lowering to my body, his hands tightening over my thighs. I knew I would bear the marks of his fingers on my pale skin once we were done and cherish them. “I am on birth control.” He tilted his head. “It wouldn’t matter. I had a vasectomy.”