Heartbreak Funny Quotes

During my three-year secretive relationship with my boss, Zane Bender, we used 999 condoms. Before Zane dated me, he'd go through 20 partners per month. After he started dating me, he only bedded me and me only. He promised me that he'd give me a surprise on my birthday. I thought it was going to be a grand proposal. But the moment the clock struck 12, Zane called me. "Cassidy, buy a pack of condoms and deliver it to the 31st floor of Mavelon Hotel right now. Remember, I want the extra thin ones." At that moment, I couldn't believe my ears. Before I could react, Zane completely lost his patience. He urged, "Stop standing around! Hurry up and get over here! Lily and I are in the mood right now!" Lily Hubbard was the charming secretary who recently joined the company. My complexion turned pale instantly. "You're sleeping with her, Zane? Then… Then who am I to you?" Zane fell silent for a while. Then, he let out a soft chuckle. "You? You're just a bedwarmer who can help alleviate my urges. That's all." It turned out that the so-called surprise wasn't a proposal. It was just me fantasizing about a relationship that never existed in the first place. The pink bubbles of love and romance finally popped on my 25th birthday. After that, a car accident completely changed everything in my life. When I meet Zane again, he realizes that he can no longer win back the heart of his "pet".

After catching her doctor boyfriend cheating on her, nurse Irene Nagel swears off men in white coats for good. Disillusioned and burned out, she packs up her scrubs and broken heart, trading the drama and bad memories for a quiet new hospital across the country. Determined to stay single and start fresh, Irene is ready to focus on what matters: her career, her sanity, and a life that doesn’t revolve around arrogant, narcissistic doctors. Enter Dr. Brenden Warren: brilliant, brooding, and infuriatingly smug. From the moment they clash in the hallway, Irene’s blood pressure spikes for all the wrong reasons. But behind Brenden’s gruff exterior lies a man who truly cares and challenges her in ways she never expected. As long shifts bleed into surprise dates and drink with friends, the hostility gives way to undeniable chemistry. Irene begins to question everything she thought she knew about love, trust—and doctors. In a world of emergencies, friendships are forged over coffee, Irene just might discover that some second chances come disguised in scrubs… and one page can summon the love she never thought she would have.

Si Vegee Mariano, isang heartbreaker, binayaran siya ni Steffi, eight-hundred thousand. Ipapahinto niya ang kasal ng babae at magpanggap na nobya sa nobyo nitong si Gabriel Quiros. Nagawa niya ang trabaho. Dumaan ang linggo, nagpakamatay si Gabriel Quiros dahil sa matinding depression. Siya ang sinisisi ng pamilya nito. Dahil sa takot umuwi siya ng Bohol. Naging payapa ang buhay ni Vegee sa probinsya. Hanggang isang araw, dumating sa buhay niya si Wilson Montreal. Naging pamilyado si Vegee sa mukha nito. Ito ang lalaking nakasama niyang kumain sa fast-food chain noon sa Manila. Nasa probinsya na ito at may business. Araw-araw itong bumibisita ang lalaki at nagsabi ito ng totoong nararamdaman nito. Hindi manhid si Vegee sa naramdaman ng lalaki at ganoon din siya sa kanyang sarili. Naging mapusok sila sa kanilang naramdaman. Isang gabi, nagyaya si Wilson sa resort nito. Nagpunta kaagad si Vegee ngunit nandoon si Steffi. Pinahiya siya ng babae at doon niya nalaman na si Wilson ay ang kapatid ni Gabriel Quiros. Kaya bang ipaglaban ni Vegee ang kanyang nararamdaman sa lalaki kung naghihiganti lang pala ang lalaki sa pagkamatay ng kapatid nito? Kaya niya bang ipaglaban pa rin ang kanyang pagmamahal sa lalaki kung nalaman niyang may relasyon si Steffi at Wilson? Paano kung nagbunga ang mapusok nilang mga gabi?

Astrid Naomi Wadler only loved one person. And that is Leviticus Galford. But after one unfortunate night she found out the real Leviticus Galford. Behind his handsome and innocent face there is hiding inside it. The man she adored and desire is a man who breaks the million hearts of the girls around him! But when she was about to forget Levi it was the time where the man always appear beside her...playing with her...tempting her...and trying to burn her. Will she ever survive the fire that Levi brought her? What if that fire slowly turned into something more precise?

Maya Beckham was Oscar Francis's first love. After four long years abroad, she had assumed any feelings he once held for her had turned to dust. Yet when she returned to Elminas, he proposed. Everyone swore Maya was the love of his life—his one true love, his everything. Touched beyond words, she finally gathered the courage to say yes. …Until the day she discovered Oscar secretly marrying her half-sister, Diana Beckham. She stormed toward him like a woman possessed, her voice trembling with rage. "Explain." Oscar met her fury with infuriating calm. "You vanished without a word four years ago. Diana stayed. Now she's dying—this is her last wish. How could I refuse?" Maya's lips curled into a faint, unreadable smile. What Oscar didn't know? She was the one diagnosed with a difficult illness back then. Later, Maya got into an accident and forgot Oscar entirely. Oscar broke down. Day after day, he pounded on her door like a madman, begging her to remember.

A debt. A contract. A marriage. A university! Ashley's father borrowed money from a wealthy billionaire to expand his business. Unfortunately, the expansion failed making the company and the family on the brink of bankruptcy to the extent of almost selling his last property which is their house to pay back the debts. But one fateful day, Mr. Walter came to the Black's family house and gave them an absurd offer which would help them pay their debt and get their company back on its feet. The offer was simple. Since Mr. Black was owing Mr. Walter about 10 million dollars, he offered to forget about the money and even help the company to get back on his feet if... Ashley gets married to his philanderous son, Michael, for a year! Read to follow up with the rollercoaster story of Michael and Ashley's one year contracted marriage while still in college, their heartbreak, their scandalous past and how they later fell madly in love with each other!

A young guy keeps getting into trouble in very funny and unfortunate ways. He wrecked havocs on people too, mistakenly. He hallucinated and had great fantasies about people to brighten up his hearers. Afterwards, he came back to his mundane reality.

Love is like a Kaleidoscope of colours. Intricate, unexpected but beautiful. And this story is not just about teenage love. It's about heartbreak, friendship, family and self-love.

Is This Heaven's Blessing or a Divine Punishment? A chance to turn back time and meet him again! "She" had already endured heartbreak over this man once, and that was more than enough. But to lose her life in a tragic, unexpected accident only to face another heartbreak? This was Heaven's mercy, allowing her soul to travel back in time to meet Mr. Peng, The Single Daddy, and his little son once more but as their nanny (and housemaid). Being a nanny? She could manage that. But being his heart's caretaker? Absolutely not! Especially when he casually says, "Can you be Ayus Mama?" How could she respond, especially when another woman stepped in, pleading, "Please, I beg you, give my husband back to me!" Was this a second chance... or Heaven's cruel punishment?!

I had it all planned out—my perfect life with a fiancé I was set to marry in a couple of months and a good job that paid my bills. But it all came crashing down when I caught my fiance cheating on me. And as if fate wanted to add insult to my injury, I lost my job the next day. Guess who I also ran into? Zachary Montgomery, my evil ex-boss. Despite our turbulent history, our connection was instant. Unexpectedly, he offered me a job, reigniting the sparks between us. I managed to maintain professionalism until he asked me to marry him so he could secure a contract. Now, I'm torn between the wild flames of passion that still exist and the heartbreak that still lingers from my rough past. Will I surrender to the allure of Zachary and the possibility of a new beginning? Or will I let my heartbreak dictate my future?