Hilarious Quotes About Men Novels & Stories

”Oh to be sandwiched between these male specimen, I would die happy” “Are you mad?” I asked but I was laughing. “For the right amount of dick, I say lock me in the psych ward and throw away the key baby” **

The leader of the men, a fat stocky man with a protruding stomach said with a scoff " Too bad" Ricca snickered " I have no intention of letting you live" The men laughed out loud as if they had just heard a funny joke " Even though you're outnumbered, you're still acting so confident, this is the last time I'll give you a chance, give us the girl and we'll let you live"

she said sarcastically and he laughed at that. It was quiet for a while and he kept sighing. "Is something bothering you?" "No, I am just tired" "Hmmm, are sure about that, because if you want to cry, my shoulders are ready to receive it". He scoffed at her words. "Why would I cry, I am not a baby or woman who cries" "Woman? Eric, crying is not only limited to babies and women. Men also cry and there is no shame in that". "I knew you would say something so cheesy"

About fifteen minutes into the drive, I asked, “Why so slow?” “Oh, I’m sorry. Do you feel the need, the need for… going faster?” I laughed so loudly I almost snorted and had to put both of my hands over my nose since even a baby like me recognizes the famous movie quote he almost said. “You’re a funny guy in an unassuming way.” He turned a slight shade of pink. “Yeah, well, in our line of work you have to find some way to be a little bit of a comedian, or you’ll end up in the loony bin.”

I teased, and he chuckled. “Always. Have the women queuing around the block to experience what a real gentleman is.” he boasted, puffing his chest out. “Oh yeah, and his wife there waiting to kick their asses for coming near her man.” Mason says with a shake of his and a smirk. I laughed. “I will hope you are joking, Killian, or my opinion of you has seriously dropped.” “That’s fine, it can join everybody else’s opinion of him, which is in the gutter.” One of the other guys said with a grin, making them all laugh, including Mason, and I could feel his chest vibrate next to my side. Damn, this man was toned…

she shouted. "No compassion!" "No conscience!" Her voice cracked. "Don't you have families of your own?!" The man froze for half a second. Then— He laughed again. Even louder. "Family?" He wiped imaginary tears. "Did you hear that?" He looked at his men. "She thinks we're human." The group erupted in laughter again. "Old lady," he said mockingly, "this is business." He leaned forward. "Emotion doesn't make money." Margaret clenched her fists.

Life’s so unfair, man. “What does a spoon matter when we’re literally stuck in the middle of the woods with invisible monsters, shady, bad men and whatever else creeps around here? Can you please, for once, use your brain and kick some sense in the gear?” He whisper-hisses, so red in the face, he reminds me of a tomato. “You could join a casting for vegetable commercials looking like this,” I remark and laugh at the brilliant joke my brain just reacted. Shit, am I not the funniest guy out there? Look at me - sense of humor, looks, body and an impressive spoon collection, I have it all, damn it. No wonder my little vixen couldn’t deny me.

“Cocky, aren’t you? Baby, not all women are after your money. Sometimes, they just genuinely like you because you’re smart, funny, charming, fit, with a gigantic-sized dick.” His voice echoed, and it was so enjoyable to see him laugh so hard, distracting us from our problems for a while. “I knew it, Tara. I knew it.” “You knew what?” I challenged him. “That you like me because I’m smart, funny, charming, fit, especially the size of my dick.” “Yeah. That’s definitely a plus.” I shrugged confidently. “I won’t lie to you about something like that.” He laughed again, holding his abdomen, tears spilling out from his eyes. “Oh, God, baby. I’ve never laughed so hard like this.”

They were all waiting for me to answer. “No, sir. I don’t date older men.” Two can play his game. I heard the people in the elevator with us laugh and that pleased me. Lucas on the other hand wasn’t pleased. “Don’t you know the older the better?” He went on. I rolled my eyes. “No, for all I know, you could be a husband and a father. You shouldn’t be hitting on girls half your age.” Okay, I should really shut up. This time, Lucas found what I said funny. He was the first to laugh before the others joined him. It backfired really badly.

He smirks, winking at me. I giggle, getting the hidden message. The man is simply terrible to his workers. That bitch clearly fits him. I don't even know what he saw in her. Is she pretty? Yes. Does she have a good attitude? Hell no. Aren't men supposed to like women who have good characters? “No Mia. Some men just want to have their dick wet.” Jack answers. Damnit. I actually said that out loud, before I can turn to say anything the elevator dings open.