Hilarious Quotes About Men Novels & Stories

the man keeps interrupting "hey you shut the fuckup Fitsher, you're a gad`damn drunk, how many bottles would your sh*t belly take before you stop, with your chicken hands. What do you mean by "dem right!" (Big j mimicking his voice) I'm sure your mama is at the church singing halleluyah praise the Lord my son is a good man, not knowing he is an empty vessel! with chicken brains." "hahahaha." other men laughing at Fitsher "what are you laughing about?, (they all fell silent) you are all a disgrace!" Big j said.

status to flirt with female colleagues from other departments. I tolerated it, telling myself he was just networking. But now, just to impress Miguel and get ahead, he couldn't wait to trample all over me. I let out a short, humorless laugh. "Todd Westman, what right do you have to lecture me?" His eyes darted around for a second before he raised his voice even louder. "I'm just saying this as a colleague who knows right from wrong! You should know what's good for you, Macy!" Looking at his hypocritical, revolting expression, I couldn't even be bothered to argue. I picked up the iced coffee on my desk and, without hesitation, splashed it straight in his face.

Quickly, I grab at my phone and type. 'You. You are the man. You bumped into us that day. In the parking lot. You must have slipped the note then.' Send. Typing... They reply. 'Ha.Ha. Ha. I must say you're a smart one. Yeah, I bumped into you two that day and yeah, I slipped the lilies and the note in then.' My eyeballs almost pops as I choke. 'So you're a man?' I type. Ding. 'Yeah. A man can love a man too. Even more than you women that are only after money and looks.'

“How can we mend that broken heart if you feel no excitement at the sight of naked men?” I laughed. “It’s enough for me that you had fun, Harper.” I leaned my head against his arm now as we exited the building. The door host was gone. “Don’t give me that. You need a man.” he said. “How misogynist!” I joked, making a face while the valet brought Harper’s car around. “Sue me.” He said, “No, I only have to tweet and mention you and let the internet do its work,” I said. We paused, staring at each other, and then burst into half-drunk laughter.

Men always brag about how long they can last, when all they need are a couple minutes. [You can pass your husband to me if you don’t like him. I’m done with mine.] Penny posted a follow-up comment after reading those replies. [I’m being serious.] She thought everyone was joking. However, the netizens soon replied as well. [Which god should I pray to so I can get a husband like yours?]

Matt jumped in laughing. "There's no point in laughing, it will only prove how much of a macho man you are. I mean macho macho,macho man you've got to be, a macho man macho, macho man you've got to be." Grey teased, making some funny gestures with his hands. “Did you hear that?” Killian turned to Matt, laughed and shook his head. Matt willed himself not to laugh at his joke but it was already hard as he ended up giving a husky laugh at his words.

His eyes snap to mine immediately, his jaw getting tight after being caught. “What’s not to like?” I counter, holding my arm out of the cart. “The view is breathtaking and one of a kind. The weather is beautiful. It’s relaxing. Maybe I need to take up golf as a hobby.” This makes him laugh. I’m learning to love the sound of his laugh—the real one. He has a sarcastic one he uses often, but this real one, the one that rumbles deep in his chest…it’s kind of sexy. Can you find a man’s laugh sexy without finding him sexy?

One of the security men chuckled as he replied. "Funny joke?" I frowned, feeling confused. "What the heck is funny in what I just said?" I frowned as I just couldn't understand what was happening. I said I was Lauren's girlfriend and yet, these two thought it was all funny and they began to laugh. Seems like they needed immediate medical attention. "Would you two assholes stop laughing and tell me what's funny?" I yelled as I cursed when I couldn't take it anymore. "Woman, we'd advise you to watch your tongue." One of the security men stopped laughing as he looked at me.

And men, whether in any situation, never miss the opportunity to exhale their testosterone. " Why don't you men, even on the verge of death open your mouths for anything but to talk nonsense? "I hit my own forehead. I know I'm only taking out on a wounded man my own bitterness, and I'm aware of how pathetic this seems to be. In response, the man squeaks with pain, and yet, his lips bow to that same smile with a suggestion of malice. "I usually open my mouth to other things, girl, but I don't think I can show you now.”

“Because….my darling, you need to” “I don’t need to do anything I don’t want to do. Besides, these could all be empty threats for all I care. You guys are most likely bluffing” They both laughed. They seemed to have a very warped sense of humor because they laughed at the most ridiculous things, things that shouldn’t necessarily make anyone laugh. “Oh, poor little thing, you still have no idea who is standing before you now, do you?” the man said, with a snarky look on his face.