Hilarious Quotes About Men Novels & Stories

“You might have more fun if you did. A wife can be a good companion. If nothing else, be her friend.” He grunted his reply and left Justin’s office to go back to work. He didn’t care to hear about the virtues of women from Justin who claimed to be happily married with two little kids that clung to his pants whenever she stopped by with them. How embarrassing it would be to have that happen to him if he was trying to do business. He didn’t know why the other men seemed to think it was cute. Justin took it all in stride. He’s a braver man than I am.

"Well, it's up to you. What to do with her" "Thanks, boss! Come on, guys! 'This girl looks attractive "Ooh!" "DONT YOU DARE FUCK WITH ME! I WILL NOT HESITATE TO KILL YOU" Suddenly the fifteen men burst out laughing. "DON'T MAKE ME LAUGH YOU STUPID. HOW WILL YOU KILL. US, HUH?! PUNCH?" "YOU DONT UNDERESTIMATE A WOMAN! I CAN DO ANYTHING IN AN URGENT SITUATION"

"This man is sick." Lindy: I HAVE NEVER MET A MAN AS STUPID AND DIRTY AS YOU! Well too bad, I don't fit your standards. I'm a VERY old woman, with cane, white hairs and wrinkles. Milo smiled to himself, “I have way better jokes than that.” He sounded proud. Mill: That's cute. But you call that funny? Okay, I'm giving you a chance this time. But only one time. Ha-ha. See? I laughed. I laughed at your joke because your like a cute little hot ripe apple that's ready to be eaten.

Men are stupid — I should know that by now. “Ug, you guys are so weird.” “Totally,” Lee mutters. Logan shoots him a glare. “You’re one of us now, dude.” “Unfortunately.” Ug. Men. Put on this earth solely to annoy us so we don’t die of boredom. PS – please note – no animals were harmed while writing this chapter.

I shook my head and went to sit across Audrey. She was laughing at the quotes on the wall. “These are hilarious,” she said, reading one aloud: ‘I don’t need you to brag about me, I just don’t want you to deny me in front of people. – FART!’ Her laughter burst out, filling the café. I just stared, completely captivated. Every laugh, every sparkle in her eyes, it was contagious. “Here’s another one!” she giggled. ‘What a life! Eggs every single day… eggs, eggs, eggs… Do you know who said that?’ Her eyes gleamed mischievously.

The question tumbles out before I can stop it, a desperate bid to steer us away from any lingering awkwardness. “Cowards. Plain and simple.” I choke on my latte, sputtering as he bursts out laughing. “Easy there,” I say, dabbing at the spill on the table with a napkin. “Sorry—but it’s the truth. Men are stronger, period. The second a guy lays a hand on a woman, he’s not just hurting her body—he’s tearing apart her mind and heart too. Any man who does that doesn’t have the balls to face his own demons. They’re spineless.”

“I have this genetic disease that suffocates me every time I'm around men.” The giant man threw his head back, and burst out laughing. It sounded like sporadic gunshots striking a guitar cord, in the most soothing way. If that made sense. I didn't want him to stop laughing because it was annoyingly intriguing, but I had to weasel my way out of impending doom that was marriage to an old creepy man. “Look, why don't you laugh all the way to the old man? Tell him everything I've said. Surely, he can get any other woman in the world. He doesn't need a sick, dying one.”

Abel questioned, looking around. “Of course, I chose you over him. It’s bros before hoes.” Zadkiel smirked at Abel who couldn’t help but laugh. “You just called him a hoe.” His laughter became contagious as he thought that Zadkiel cracked the joke of the century when he just said the statement every guy says. Zadkiel laughed along with him. As some really wise person said: Laugh and the whole world laughs with you…

I actually smiled at that. Lilac shrugged. “But at least women talk. Men just sit there and brood like the world owes them something.” She gestured vaguely with her spoon. “With women, yeah, they stress you out, but at least you know what’s wrong. With men? It’s like trying to read smoke.” Ariana snickered. “So what I’m hearing is that love is just a mess no matter who you date.” Lilac scooped another bite of cake. “Exactly.”

”Oh to be sandwiched between these male specimen, I would die happy” “Are you mad?” I asked but I was laughing. “For the right amount of dick, I say lock me in the psych ward and throw away the key baby” **