Hilarious Quotes About Men Novels & Stories

he murmured to himself, but I heard it. “You were not worried about nothing…" I started, feeling the urge to rile him up for no reason. He frowned, tilting his head to the side with a perplexed expression. "That's because I think he might make a good husband. If he can be this caring, thoughtful and funny then I wonder what other qualities his night possessed and if you don't know women love funny men because they lighten the mood and always make them feel relaxed," I said jokingly, but he was already glaring daggers at me. "So you like funny men as well," he said almost accusingly. I almost spat blood seeing how upset he looked.

This wicked man is really persistent to paired me up with his son. “No thanks. I love being single,” I said. He laughed so hard after I said that. I can clearly see his gums from here. “You don’t like my son? Or else…you have someone in mind?” he said teasingly. Old men are really pain in the ass. “You know what? Why don’t you sleep now?” I asked sarcastically. He laughed and shook his head. “You’re lucky that I allow you to talk to me like that if not…you’re probably fired by now,” he said jokingly.

“Why were you laughing?” “BECAUSE HE MADE A BAD PUN ABOUT EXCEL.” “What pun?” “It doesn’t matter!” “Tell me.” “OH MY GOD—” He steps closer. Jealous. Possessive. Annoyingly gorgeous. And then he says it: “I don’t want other men making you laugh.” My breath stops. Instantly. Because he says it so quietly. So seriously. So unfiltered. “I—um—well—laughing is good for my mental health?”

Thinking this, I shut my eyes tight, trying to sleep, but his voice echoed in my ears, and I could not help but listen. "My goodness. I wonder what kind of person your wife is to leave you as a single father. If I could marry a husband like you, I would quit my job. I would be happy to stay home and cater to my husband all day." The whole group erupted in laughter, and even the driver could not help but chuckle. Damn it. What is so funny? Her comment made my blood boil. Even if she was joking, I found it incredibly tactless. Indeed, older women always act so inappropriately whenever they see a handsome man.

I'm not sure if I'm drunk or what but I find his statement funny. Their response is compulsory for men to say about their perspective of wife or woman, "And what is your job then? Inserting your penis in and out of our hole and after that throwing a woman like trash?" He smirked as he nodded, satisfied with what I just said. Why are few men as jerks as this guy? He stood up but I refused to meet his ugly face. "You talk too much. Let's go upstairs, so we can continue this conversation." "Not interested dude."

"Relax." I blinked. "A joke?" "Yes." "You threatened me." "I teased you." "You practically announced my doom." "And yet," he replied with a small grin, gesturing toward the exit behind me, "you're still standing here arguing with me, which means my joke wasn't particularly effective." That somehow irritated me even more, and I looked between him and Damiano before throwing both hands into the air. "Do men enjoy stressing women out, or is it just something rich people do for entertainment?"

He said and I nodded. A man with Vision. Check. “That’s new. Most of the rich guys I have met are weirdos who either are addicted to drugs or women. Plus their Pride and Ego, is beyond control.” I said. “I’m addicted to women.” He said and I rolled my eyes. “Wow, I’m surprised.” I said, my voice dripping with sarcasm. “Is that sarcasm I hear?” He asked and I nodded. “You are not surprised that I like women?” He asked, his eyes raised.

"Hahahaha, there are six men here. You can't even fly with wings. Why are you struggling?" "If I were you, I'd lie down and cooperate with us." Mark laughed wildly. He stuck his index finger directly into the glass and stirred it. "Nice, the juice is still icy." Someone beside me laughed and teased, "Mark, you're so considerate of her. You even care that the juice tastes better when it's icy." As soon as that man finished, another guy laughed at him, "What considerate, you're green and inexperienced! You must not have tried getting a blowjob from a bitch who drank ice water."

Lily asks them and everyone shrugs. “I guess so. His whole speech has pretty much been quotes from movies. 'He thought we wouldn't notice, but we did'.” Adam's words make the men at the table laugh and even Kimmy thinks that it is funny. She can not help but laugh with them. She knows that he is quoting Iron Man from The Avengers when he says “that man is playing Galaga! Thought we wouldn't notice.. but we did.” “Nice,” Alex tells Adam, who smirks at him. But Bella shushes the table to quiet them down and makes them listen to the alpha once more.

The little sweetheart of a lady tottered down the aisle, faced the congregation, and said, "I outlived the buggers." Memorable Quotes "Scattered showers my ass!" Noah. "I have no problem with you talking to yourself as long as it doesn't turn into an argument" Woody Allen. "If at first you don't succeed try, try again. Then quit. There's no point being a damn fool about it." W.C.Fields. "The one thing that all porn stars have in common is a dread of filming the scenes that don't involve sex" Fanny Lightfoot (Porn Movie Director) "For every human problem, there is a solution that is simple, neat, and wrong." H. L. Mencken