Holiday Quotes Funny

Trace a.k.a The Orgy King. The Panty Ripper. His sworn brother called him funny names but he knows what he is. A spawn by Satan. Born to be his father's trouble. He fuck around like a rabbit. Party here and there. But his fave sport will always involve dark and bad. A walking sin. Trace will soon realize that karma really is a bitch*. Organization. Friendship. Brotherhood. Trace Dimagiba might be the most hateful man in FOEDUS CORP., but he’ll soon realize that even the devil himself deserves redemption. In the form of the feisty and beautiful woman who sauntered into his life– Chloe. His light and his end game.

In the depths of winter, Christmas calls to weary travelers and leads lonely hearts home.Jocelyn Taylor is no stranger to a weary heart. Having fallen in love much too young with her sister’s old high school boyfriend has left her with mixed emotions about the possibility of true love. Now successful and the manager of a jewelry shop, Jocelyn spends her days dreaming of the perfect man and the perfect ring to match.Caden Scott is less than thrilled at the thought of spending the holidays back home where memories of his youth still haunt him. Not interested in the kitschy feel of a town known for Christmas, Caden still dwells on the thought of seeing his old high school love again. His time abroad serving his country has changed him in many ways, but could it have altered his heart as well?In the magic of the holiday season, can two hearts let go of the past? Or will true love pass them by?Christmas Cove is created by Theresa Oliver, an EGlobal Creative Publishing signed author.

The Blue Moon Bed and Breakfast Inn is deep within the Canadian Shield in a small ski town called Evergreen Grove. Rumours have it that magical things happen at the Inn. With stories of a spirit of a lady in white and friendly staff that know exactly what you need before you even do. Maybe it's time for you to visit and see what happens when six people come to visit. The Germains are on a getaway in hopes to save their marriage. Greta Johansen is there scouting out for a ghost hunting television show. April Klein is a friend of the owner Gabriella St. James and an art influencer looking for something new. Daniel Davis is a painter in desperate need of some inspiration. Eric Devlin is a mystery man. He pays in cash and is clearly hiding from something. So come book yourself into the Blue Moon and see what happens from Jody Samuel's eyes the front desk clerk. With curses and blessings on this holiday at the Blue Moon, everyone is in for a surprise or two. Just ask the Boggart that lives in the pantry. Cover made by Getcovers.

This is the tale of how the sexist remark, "Men are scum," was delivered to me on a scalding plate! Guess what? It all started with a birthday surprise party for my boss's fiance, but I was slapped with horror when I saw my boyfriend of two years being kissed by my boss with an engagement ring around both their fingers. Turned out I had been the side chick for two bloody years! Funny enough, I wasn't served a heart break alone, my boss had also been toying with the emotions of Cole McPherson, and together we swore to take revenge. Would I still scream, "Men are slime!" at the conclusion, or will my beliefs alter in the process of seeking revenge alongside Cole?

They say memories stored in our brain could be sometimes forgotten, but then the heart does not forget. Because our heart always remember, the heart recognizes our beloved when our brain couldn't. Years after they lost contact with each other, Zhanaia encountered Dion again on the same place where they met. And funny how destiny works, they met again just like how they first met, accidentally bumping with each other. Zhanaia's heart was filled with joy, she couldn't contain her happiness and jumped to hug Dion, not wanting to let him go again. But all the hope in her shattered when Dion pulled away from her embrace and asked her, "I'm sorry, miss, but... who are you?"

It was the holiday season and I was on my way home when the traffic on the highway came to a standstill. Suddenly, a Maybach came speeding down the emergency lane and slammed right into my car. The driver jumped out and started yelling, jabbing his finger in my face. “Are you blind?! Don’t you know cars turning should yield to those going straight?” I frowned. “My car broke down and this is where I’m supposed to be. You’re the one who broke the traffic laws, yet you’re blaming me for this?” “Traffic laws?” he scoffed, full of arrogance. “I’m the law in Jacksboro City. That Volkswagen piece of junk you’re driving is not even worth one of my Maybach’s tires!” Then he pulled out a baseball bat and smashed it down on my car. He even threatened to break my legs and demanded compensation. I sneered. “Sure, this may be a Volkswagen… but why don’t you take a closer look at the special clearance permit on the windshield?”

Gwen is a rogue who hates pack wolves. After her parents were brutally murdered by their pack for a crime they did not commit, Gwen has had nothing but hatred in her heart. On a night hunt, Gwen encounters the legendary rogue killer, Alpha Liam. A man who hates rogues with every fibre of his being. However, the moon goddess likes to play funny games. Liam and Gwen are mates. But this bond does not stop their hatred for each other. Liam takes her back to his pack, unable to leave her but hateful of her existence. He offers Gwen a deal. They would be mated for as long as it took for her to produce an heir. The rogue and alpha are dancing on the thin line between lust, love and hate. Can they pretend for long?

After a 12-year absence, Austin returns to the horse farm in Wyoming she has always considered her true home. But things have changed, and the farm she inherited comes with some enemies - one of them being the Carter family. Cortland Carter now handles his family's affairs and is determined to get the water rights back from his neighbor, who won them from his grandfather in a poker game. Fate has a funny way of bringing people together, and when Austin saves Cortland's niece, the two finally meet. Despite the feud between their families, they both feel a mutual attraction that cannot be denied. But with their families at odds, is there any hope for a future together? "Coming Home" is a heartwarming tale of love and betrayal.

Until recently, Carolina Lane has lived a normal life, but when she moves to this town, things change. Having Kayler Brown, the sexiest and most respected boy in school, as a neighbor is not funny at all. While Caroline is trying hard to make this bossy yet meddling boy stay out of her business, she receives death warnings: Attention, Carolina. The forest will be your new enemy. Do not approach Kayler, or otherwise, your death will be even more painful than I had planned. Who sent this letter? What is Kayler hiding behind? What's the secret of this town? Caroline desperately wants to figure out the truth. However, Kayler won’t answer the questions. He just takes her hand and gazes at her. “You are mine.” He said.

A security guard caught a snake in our apartment complex and delivered it straight to my door. I was just about to scream when floating comments cut in. [The male lead got dumped and turned back into his real form just to spy on his girlfriend, and he actually got caught? This is funny as hell!] [He got dumped, and his girlfriend hates him. He's probably gonna cry himself to sleep!] [Aww, poor little snake can't curl up on his girlfriend tonight.] The big black snake looked pitiful in the guard's hands. It secretly sized me up with its slit pupils. I tried holding out my hand, and the black snake stared in disbelief. Two seconds later, it obediently rubbed its head against my fingers.