I Hate Myself So Much Novels & Stories

I collapsed onto the dusty floorboards. Endless darkness swallowed me whole. "I'm sorry..." I clutched my flat stomach, my voice broken. I sobbed uncontrollably in the empty house. "Baby, I'm so sorry. I failed you." I apologized desperately to the thin air. All I could see was that cold operating table. I hated Cassius for his cruelty. I hated Camilla for her venom. But most of all, I hated myself. I hated that I loved that monster for five whole years.

She's told me every horrible thing a mother could say. That I was too fat, too weak, too soft. That l'd never bag a rich man looking the way I did. I finally got into the car and broke down completely. Ugly crying. Nose running. Mouth open. Shoulders shaking. I hated myself. Hated this moment. Hated the world. Was it a crime to be fat? I wasn't even that fat. I was just chubby. But maybe they were right. Maybe I wouldn't want to be with myself either.

I didn’t even reαlize I wαs crying until I felt it. The teαrs. Sliding down my fαce while my chest αched like something inside me hαd crαcked open. "Alphα—" Richαrd sαid gently. "I hαte myself‚" I cut him off. "I hate myself more than she hates me." "Then do something αbout it‚" he sαid softly. "Go αfter her. Apologize. Show her you’re sorry. It’s not too lαte. It might feel like it is... but it’s not. Not if you meαn it."

I feel so much hate for this world. These bastards just ruined the once innocent girl I was. I am becoming someone else. Maybe, I think I like this version of myself more. "

He made me feel exactly the same, worthless and disgusting like a piece of garbage. It was like life was telling me that this is what there is for me, only pain and suffering. I ran away and build a whole new life but here I was again. I was still stuck in the same position. Maybe I deserved it, maybe I was the problem, maybe something in me made people hate me, and I bring the worst out of everyone. So many people hate me including my own father, it can't be a coincidence. There is something seriously wrong with me. __________

Ava POV I hate myself, I hate my life, I hate my mate, I hate everything, I hate everyone. I hate myself for being the cause of everything, I hate my life for not choosing to be normal and instead caught up in some twisted supernatural series, I hate my mate for taking away everyone I love, I hate everything for not being in my favor for once, I hate everyone because I’m not like them; because I’m not normal like them. I really hate my mate but still he knows what to do to me whenever I’m sad, I get to see his soft other side I always wish for whenever I’m sad; that side I wish I met first and will be permanent.

I hated giving anyone proof that I was weak, and most of all, I hated that Sylas was the one seeing me like this. "I hate myself," I finally admitted. The words came out small and shaky, but once I said them, I couldn't stop. "You have no idea how much. I hate the way I think. I hate the things I say. I hate how I hurt people and then act like I didn't mean to. Maybe I didn't mean to, but I still did it. That doesn't change anything." My tears slipped down my cheeks and disappeared against my arms.

Why does everything have to be so hard when I finally take the matters into my own hands? I reach the apartment in 15 minutes and as soon as I step foot in my bedroom I break down. I hate myself for coming to New York, I hate myself for befriending Grecia, I hate myself for every single decision that I had taken, heck I hate myself for being born now. It is just too much to go through in just one year of life.

Because he claims that I was lying to him all along. I'm tired of going back and forth with my thoughts, and I honestly don't want to think about it anymore, but I can't help myself; I keep reminiscing about everything that happened, and I don't know how to stop thinking about everything. I just hate myself right now, and I wish I was never born or I never came here in the first place.

Never ending shivers are leaving my body. He removed his hands around me as I immediately got up. I closed my eyes as I let my tears out. I loathe myself for not being able to save myself. I hate how I got crushed like an ant in his presence. I detest myself more than him. I looked as him in resentment as i said in anger, "I hate your very existence!" I let out soft sob and began to leave as I heard him say, "I know that, No one loves me anyways"