Novel & Cerita I Wanna Feel I Wanna Heal

"Okay, then you listen, and I'll talk. I can't tell you how many times I've read the words you wrote, memorizing them, etching them into my brain. Baby, I want all of you. I want to be buried balls-deep in you both mentally and physically. I want to taste every inch of your skin. I don't want there to be a single spot I'm not intimately familiar with. I want to please you and you to please me. I want to hold you, to share my day with you, to love you, but I need you to be whole again to do that. "I know you don't want to face what happened, but you have to. I don't want my touch to ever be a trigger. No one has touched you intimately since then. I want to move through this slowly with someon

he asks, the question carrying deeper meaning than the casual morning version. The truth? Better than I was yesterday, still fragile in ways that might take months to heal, but finally convinced that healing is possible because what I'm healing into feels right. "I'm starting to remember what it feels like to want things," I tell him honestly. "Not just survival or safety, but actual desires for our future." Like physical intimacy with my mate, like holding our newborn son, like watching Maya teach her brother everything she knows. "What kinds of things do you want?" Rhett asks, his voice carefully neutral despite the hope I can feel through our bond.

This wound continues to gape until I forget what it feels like to heal. To be Continued.

Look at me now, I'm falling I can't even talk, still stuttering This ground of mine keeps shaking Oh oh oh, now! All I want to be, yeah all I ever want to be, yeah, yeah Is somebody to you All I want to be, yeah all I ever want to be, yeah, yeah Is somebody to you

I'm confident that I can heal myself… on my own. ~

I whisper hoarsely, more promise than pride. Then I let the darkness take me. Because healing is coming. And when I wake… I won’t be the same.

“No, pet. You need to heal all of you before you get involved with anyone else.” “I don’t want to be involved; I just want to feel.” “I know.” He smiled. “But I don’t want to be just a rebound.”

Nathan's voice circles back into my head. Tell me what you want. I laugh quietly at myself because the answer hits immediately. I want to stop planning my life around bad days. I want to make a plan for next year and actually believe it. I want one conversation that isn't about medication or symptoms or rest. I want to feel twenty-two instead of temporary. I want— My throat tightens suddenly. I look away from the mirror fast, blinking hard before the tears can properly fall. My hands press harder into the porcelain like I can force it back under control.

Instead, I reached deep within myself, tapping into the strength that had carried me this far. The fire wasn’t just physical—it was a test of my will. I could feel it digging into my memories, forcing me to relive my worst moments. The rejection, the pain, the loss. It was overwhelming, but I refused to let it consume me. “You’re stronger than this,” I whispered to myself. The flames seemed to sense my determination, growing hotter and more intense. My skin burned, but I focused on my healing abilities, channeling them to withstand the pain. Slowly, the heat began to subside, and the flames flickered out.

"Then I am sorry, but you will have to suffer a little more! I will stay here to get this treatment..." "I know this is important, but why don't you do it at home....?" "Honey, we both know that's not possible... Besides, I don't want you to stay here. I need to focus on treatment so I can heal faster. You can't understand how much this hurts me! The fact that I can't hold my own child is killing me! That is not the person I want to be... I want to have a happy family and live well with my husband and baby! And I know I will never have that life if I can't heal and do better! I am responsible for Mateo coming into this life, so I have to be there for him, hug him when he is sad or in pain, p