Novel & Cerita If I Keep My Heart Out Of Sight

My voice sounds steadier than my heart feels. “He’ll never find me here.” I lean back against the couch, staring up at the ceiling. This place is invisible. Carefully chosen. No paper trail that leads back to me. No familiar faces. No habits he could trace. I didn’t survive everything I did just to be careless now. Yes, he knows I’m still in contact. But knowing that and knowing where I am are two very different things. I close my eyes and take a slow breath in through my nose, out through my mouth. Again. And again. My heartbeat gradually settles, the tightness in my chest easing until it’s no longer threatening to crush me.

I press my hand to my chest, trying to calm the strange rhythm of my heart, the lingering heat under my skin. I tell myself that I will stay away from home but I know deep down that I won't. The look I saw in his eyes wasn't just a curse, I see someone fighting the whole world all his life.

Do not let him know that your heart is currently beating loud enough that you are genuinely concerned he can hear it from across the room. I lay very still and waited.

Only, that’s when I realize it’s dead quiet too. I slow down with getting Grace out of her car seat, just to take the extra moments to take a few deep breaths. Unfortunately, the calming technique does very little when I turn around. My heart catches in my chest when I see dozens of eyes quickly avert themselves, as if pretending to not look at me.

Because I am not used to all the good tings that people do to each other. I kept n walking and stopped a bit to confirm if whatever I was suspecting was true. I took my hand and placed it on the space above my chest where my heart beats. There was nothing. I was trying to feel and look out for emotion. There was no sadness, there was no happiness, no anger, nothing. I had finally succeeded in letting go. In trying there was no care left inside me and the ink of apathy in my eyes was evident only to my soul. For rying thrying there was no care left inside me to give out to the world.

He didn’t look away. “I know,” he said after a moment. “And I hate myself for it more than you think.” That surprised her. Her fingers stilled. “You don’t act like it,” she whispered. His hand flexed against his leg. Slowly, deliberately, he lifted it and rested it between them on the bed—open, palm up. An invitation. Not a demand. “I was taught that protecting something meant keeping it out of reach,” he said quietly. “Out of sight. Out of fire.”

I murmured, hiding the card in my coat pocket as my heart started to race. Damn it, indeed.

Just as I was starting to feel moved, he uttered, "Isabella loves pink, right? It's not as fancy as the custom gift Daddy got her, but I made this with my own hands!" I felt my heart sink. I didn't even know what to say. "Move, Mom. You're blocking the light." I tilted my head back to keep the tears from falling. "Finn, if Daddy and I broke our mate bond, who would you want to stay with?" "Huh?" He frowned, not hearing a word I'd just said. "Mom, can you leave? You made me mess up a bead!" I took a few deep breaths and turned around before walking out. I brushed past Sophia, who came in carrying a glass of milk.

he smirks and winks. I jerk my hand away and he walks closer. He has a certain glint in his eyes. My heart is beating up against my ribs with excitement while my head is telling it to shut up. My heart is beating so loud, I’m sure that he can hear it. He raises a hand and makes a circle motion with his finger and, out of the corner of my eye, I see the guards turn around.

I was tempted to just leave and ignore everything I had just heard, and that was what I was gonna do, but my good conscience wouldn't even let me. I tried so hard, until I found myself standing right in front of her. She didn't utter a word to me but kept staring at me. I sat close to her, and tried to touch her, but then she moved away like I was some sort of stranger. Her teddy was cuddled so tightly in her hands, that it made it seem like someone was trying to take it away from her, or someone would take it away from her. "You shouldn't hold anything so close to your heart in that manner. If you don't let it go one day, it's gonna destroy you completely."