Jeff Dunham Quotes Peanut Novels & Stories

I haven't seen Damanico lately so I couldn't apologize for blowing him off. "You call that popcorn chicken?" Xavier asked sarcastically as we sat down in the sitting room watching TV "I call that deformed circles." I laughed and Neveah started to crack up. "Am not eating that!" he continued "My cells might refuse to get old and die and make room for new ones when they see deform chicken which represent them when they get old!" I laughed even harder and fell off the couch and rolled on the floor laughing and Neveah held her sides laughing and Hinako was rolling on the floor too. Xavier looked at me.

Heavy with shit we weren’t saying. I cleared my throat. “Alright. That’s enough depressing hospital talk. You know what would really make my day better?” He glanced at me, brows raised. “A really dumb joke.” Andrew blinked. Then tilted his head a little, lips twitching like he was fighting a smile. “A dumb joke?” I nodded, lips curving around the cigarette still hanging from my mouth. “Come on. Hit me.” He gave me a look—half skeptical, half amused. “Fine. What do you call a sad strawberry?”

So, what do you say, want to have dinner with us next Wednesday? This time the dots reappear and a text message comes in. Peanut: Really? Sure, I would love to. Me: *smiley emoji face* Cool. I will let you go now. Enjoy your peace and quiet while you can. Remember Friday we start night shifts, so you will be stuck with me all night on our shifts. Peanut: Only for two more weeks remember? *winky face emoji*

they moan, licking and smacking their lips together. “So, that actually sounds fucking amazing, but before I let myself drool, why is the God of Creation in my kitchen creating Nutella and Biscoff doughnut pudding?” I quiz. “That was a good play on words,” the praise, pointing a proud finger at me. “One, because it’s fucking delicious, and two, because I know what happened with you and Jartre,” they say, their bright silver eyes now looking at me, brimming with compassion. “I take it this is a sympathy breakfast then,” I say reticently.

We ate at the dining table, we could see the sun setting out and that was when I realized I had slept for hours. "You know, I never pegged you for a domestic type." I continued. He raised an eyebrow. "What, CEOs can't cook?" I laughed. "Apparently they can. This is great." “To be fair, I am taking classes,” he confessed in between laughs. We chatted about silly things the worst sandwiches we'd ever had, like the time I tried peanut butter with pickles as a kid. "It was awful," I said, grimacing. "But I ate the whole thing to prove a point."

she complained. “I don’t like dealing with her either, Simz ! She stole two of my donuts !!” Dre screamed in the background. “They were just 2 out of the hundreds that you had piled on your plate, food ogre,” Joy retorted. “That reminds me, I wonder where Xeon is?” I heard Dre ask. “Xeon or the donuts ?” Joy huffed. “The donuts of course, nerd,” Dre snapped back in his ‘duh’ voice.

“I don’t know, probably thinking his endless thoughts. Mpumi, the man is not alright. I can feel it. I felt it the whole night. Constantly, I rouse to check on him, I kept thinking he’d die on me. And each time, his eyes were open. I don’t know… I feel this heaviness when I’m with him.” “I’ll talk to him.” A short silence…. Vincent then teased to break the silnce, “Dave loves peanut butter. I bet he layered his bread!” “No, I did not!” Dave denied it, but Mpumi had seen him. She ratted him out, “Yes, you did! You’ve finished my peanut-butter!” “Both of you, shut up!” ……………………………………………………………………………………………

“You don’t wanna be best buds with arachno-face? Jeff clutched his arm and dug his foot in the ground, trying to breathe quietly. God, it hurts! There was a brief silence, then the kid who wasn’t Preston spoke. “Cut it out!” His voice cracked on a high note. “Keep your dick pointed at your own urinal, man.” “Dude, I’m just messing with you. Don’t get your panties twisted.” Preston’s snort echoed off the walls. “And speaking of aardvarks, what’s with your dick, man? It looks like an anteater.”

I walked to the table and took one fresh chocolate muffin. "Don't look at me like that" I said to Peanut who was wiggling his tail beside me looking at the muffin "Just give him a small bits Daniel , sharing is caring" Olivia said and I turned to her "He's a dog" "Sharing is caring Daniel" Olivia looked at me pointing at Peanut

“Jesus, Rival. You move like a ghost.” “Better than moving like a dumbass,” I shot back, stepping in. He smirked again, that crooked thing that made him look younger than the pit ever let him be. “Hungry. That a crime now?” “Depends on if you leave me anything.” He held up the jar like an offering. “Peanut butter?” I narrowed my eyes. “That’s mine.” “You’re bleeding through your shirt and you’re worried about peanut butter?” I stalked forward, snatching it out of his hand before he could unscrew the lid. “Priorities.”