Kalau Ku Seorang Diri Novels & Stories

I muttered repeatedly. "It's not real." I whispered. "I won't be deceived." I reassured myself. Anyone listening to me talking to myself, would have thought I was crazy. I was feeling restless, like I needed to be alone. I desired solitude. I made up my mind to go home. ****

And now I'm alone. Packless. Unwanted. A monster with nowhere to go. This is my life now.

Even my solitude is a never-ending feeling of sameness. I don’t even feel like a whole person anymore. Like I’ve faded into the wallpaper. I’m a fucking tumbleweed blowing through the desert on a Ducati. Half the time, I feel like I’m a ghost in any room, no matter how crowded it is. Separate from this world but living in it all the same.

Softening for someone who wasn’t me. And I was here. Breaking in silence and alone.

I feel so lonely without you. I feel like a person who has lost everything and is now alone in this cruel world. ………………

Mariana’s Pov The realization dawns on me, that no one is coming to save me, that no one can help me out of this even if they wanted to. I am alone, in this place, and the world doesn’t know what I’m going through. The feeling is eating me up and swallowing me whole. I thought I had it all figured out, that I could achieve. I messed up, I slipped up for a split second and opened myself up to someone else.

"It's going to be harder than you think." "Someone like me," I repeated. "You mean human." "I mean alone." The word hit harder than I expected. I looked down at my boots. "I'm used to being alone." "I don't think you are," Kai said quietly. "I think you've been alone for so long you've forgotten what it feels like to not be." I didn't know what to say to that. He didn't wait for an answer. He just nodded once, turned, and walked away.

Am I sick or something? “Thank you for the cake,” I say and calmly head for the door without looking back, hoping to hide my inner turmoil. As I step out into the hallway, I can hear Camilla’s disappointed sigh. But I can also hear her whisper something under her breath. “Maybe one day you will see that you don’t have to be alone.” I pause for a moment, considering her words. They strike a chord within me that I didn’t know existed. I’ve always been alone, ever since I can remember. But maybe, just maybe, there could be something more out there for me.

Even the woman in the far corner has someone, a friend, maybe scrolling through her phone but still close enough to lean into when needed. I swallow hard as my chest tightens in a way that has nothing to do with the situation and everything to do with the fact that I am sitting here by myself. No one is holding my hand. No one asking if I’m okay. No one telling me I don’t have to go through this alone. Because I am alone. A small, bitter laugh almost escapes me, but I swallow it down. Of course I am, Why would today be any different? My hand slowly drifts to my stomach.

Kayla's Pov: So let me tell you a little about myself: For as long as I can remember I have been alone, it has its benefits but mostly it can be so dam lonely, do not get me wrong I love living in the woods I feel so free, and I'm not one of them horses that are so proud of them self although I know I am something worth looking at, but Sadler that is not a good thing as it mean I attract so much attention to myself which I do not need or want.