Novel & Cerita Kalau Ku Seorang Diri

Mirabella's Pov I am stuck alone. Words whispered through tears, one which forged an uncommon bond with my own self. A lifeline that has kept me anchored. I have lived alone. Strived alone. Survived alone. Me against me. Me for me. Wrong. I have a family, a complete family. My husband, my children, my mother in-law, my sister in-law, friends, well wishers, soldiers, business associates. I am constantly surrounded by love.

"It's going to be harder than you think." "Someone like me," I repeated. "You mean human." "I mean alone." The word hit harder than I expected. I looked down at my boots. "I'm used to being alone." "I don't think you are," Kai said quietly. "I think you've been alone for so long you've forgotten what it feels like to not be." I didn't know what to say to that. He didn't wait for an answer. He just nodded once, turned, and walked away.

Am I sick or something? “Thank you for the cake,” I say and calmly head for the door without looking back, hoping to hide my inner turmoil. As I step out into the hallway, I can hear Camilla’s disappointed sigh. But I can also hear her whisper something under her breath. “Maybe one day you will see that you don’t have to be alone.” I pause for a moment, considering her words. They strike a chord within me that I didn’t know existed. I’ve always been alone, ever since I can remember. But maybe, just maybe, there could be something more out there for me.

Even the woman in the far corner has someone, a friend, maybe scrolling through her phone but still close enough to lean into when needed. I swallow hard as my chest tightens in a way that has nothing to do with the situation and everything to do with the fact that I am sitting here by myself. No one is holding my hand. No one asking if I’m okay. No one telling me I don’t have to go through this alone. Because I am alone. A small, bitter laugh almost escapes me, but I swallow it down. Of course I am, Why would today be any different? My hand slowly drifts to my stomach.

M O N G R E L 🌷 "Some steps need to be taken alone. It's the only way to really figure out where you need to go and who you need to be." .•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.

"Please don't be inlove with someone else. Please don't have somebody waiting on you." I put my guitar down. Yumuko nalang din ako saka umiyak. Fuck! I feel so alone, ayoko na. The cold wind makes me shiver, the moonlight is shining alone, the splashing waves makes me calm. I don't know if ilang minuto o umabot na ba ng oras na nakayuko lang ako doon. Agad din akong nagulat nang may humawak sa aking balikat.

Didn’t stop the hollow feeling inside me where he used to be. Night fell quietly. I sat by the window, knees pulled to my chest, watching fog creep along the empty road outside. The world looked blurred, like someone had smeared the edges of reality. My reflection stared back faintly in the glass. Lost. Small. Alone. I pressed my forehead lightly against the window. “Even if I’m falling apart…” I whispered, “…I have to put myself back together alone this time.” My voice barely made a sound. Across the street—

I said, my voice barely above a whisper. His face fell. “I’m sorry—” “I know you are,” I interrupted gently. “But sorry doesn’t undo the feeling. It doesn’t erase the moment where I’m standing here… alone… wondering if I’ve been left again.” Again. The word hung between us, thick with history I rarely spoke about but always carried. “I don’t really have anyone else in this world,” I admitted, the vulnerability in the confession making my chest tighten. “Not in the way that matters. Not in the way that stays.”

Sana raw maisip kong tao pa rin naman daw ako at nagkakamali at may mga hindi kayang gawin ng mag-isa. Alam ko naman 'yon. Kaya lang kasi... hindi ko alam, baka... baka nasanay lang talaga akong gawin ang mga bagay ng mag-isa. Kahit naman kasi kasama ko sina Mara at May ay mas pinipili kong kumilos mag-isa. Magtrabahong mag-isa. Kumayod mag-isa. Kumita mag-isa.

I always feel so alone and this makes me feel more so. It’s early hours, cold and wet, inhospitable really, and I am sat with all that I own in two holdalls in a place that isn’t the safest, with no one caring where I am or what happens to me. I am almost twenty-nine years old and I am invisible in the world. It’s pretty pitiful.