Kalau Ku Seorang Diri Novels & Stories

Just to have someone’s arms around me and tell me I wasn’t alone. But I never did knock on that door, not with anyone. I’d take a couple of deep breaths and remind myself that I was all alone in this world, and I’d pull my big girl panties up and go back to bed without a word. I take a deep breath in the darkness tonight, and it feels different somehow. Everything here feels different. And maybe I’m different, too. Maybe tonight’s the night I can finally knock on that door and reach out. Maybe tonight’s the night someone will actually be there.

he muttered. “Nothing,” I said. “It’s just less depressing over here.” I looked back at my party laughing and chatting away. Friday night down the West End, kebabs and chips later. Nothing could really spoil life for them while they had each other. Must be nice. “You shouldn’t be seen with me,” said Kungen, his words drowning in self-pity. The others didn’t get me, but Kungen, he got me. He knew what it was like to be on your own, no one wanting you around. No one to offer you a blow job, not even on your birthday. I was tearing up just thinking about it.

I sip slowly, savoring each drop, knowing I’ll need to make it last. The island is eerily quiet, save for the occasional rustle of leaves in the breeze. I can’t shake the feeling of isolation, the knowledge that I’m utterly alone here. My thoughts drift back to the faces of my family, to the hope that they’re out there, somewhere, searching for me. But the distance between us feels insurmountable, a chasm of water and darkness that I can’t cross on my own.

Hows that enough to even grow and challenge yourself. Such thoughts leave me in the predicament I'm in now, away from home, in Seattle, staring at the rain pouring down from me at the bus stop. The lights are dim in the distance and the one nearest me is flickering with the small gusts of wind. No other cars on the streets by this small hotel. It's just the first stop I have to make on my journey. My cold feet are nearly frozen from standing as long as I have in this weather. So I slowly make my way to the check in desk, with only three thoughts in my head. I'm cold. I'm alone. I am no one.

In fits and starts, I wrote about the quiet bitterness of those on the margins of society and the moments they were made to feel invisible. One day, I typed out, "In that lavish estate, all the applause and spotlight belonged to them. I was nothing more than a superfluous ornament—fit only to stand in the shadows and watch in silence." That post went viral without any warning. Within moments, tens of thousands of comments flooded in. Countless people wrote that my words mirrored their own feelings of being abandoned by their family. As I read those comments, I suddenly felt like crying. It wasn't because the post had gone viral, but because I finally realized just how many people out there w

“You don’t have to do everything alone.” “I know,” I said. “But sometimes alone is the only way I remember who I am.” “You don’t have to be alone with me in the room to remember that,” he said. The words landed somewhere in my chest that made me flinch and smile at the same time. It was a small thread and we’d both started pulling it. I didn’t know if it would fray or hold. Right now, it existed, and that was enough. We walked out together into the wet air. The world hummed with its own life: cars, distant music, someone laughing too loud at a bar. For a moment, everything else fell away.

I stepped away from all three of them, feeling more like an outcast than ever. "I can get ready myself," I whispered, but I knew they could hear. I felt all eyes on me, but I looked away, overwhelmed. "It's fine. Neila didn’t mean it. We don’t mind," Gamma Aria tried to say soothingly. "No, it’s not that." I was used to being by myself and helping myself. I didn’t need help—and I couldn’t let them see that I did. "Child," Elder Isolde called softly. "Please," I whispered again, desperate to be alone and away from people before I had to face a crowd—or else I would lose my mind and run.

I felt alone and lost, but I was determined to fight this battle on my own. I hailed a cab and got into it, giving the driver the home address. I sat in the back seat, lost in thought. My mind was racing with worry and fear. I didn't know what to do or who to turn to for help. I felt alone and helpless, left to face my situation on my own.

I traveled alone. And as I trudged through the wild, alone and determined, I couldn't help but feel a sense of loneliness and unease. I had never traveled solo before, but with no one left to rely on, I had to take on this journey alone. The thick foliage of the forest closed in around me, and the sounds of nature echoed in my ears.

Isang buwan ko siya makakasama araw-araw dito. Kalma self, isang buwan langh iyan. Mabilis lang iyan. Lilipas din iyan ng hindi mo namamalayan. KUMALMA KA!