Kalau Ku Seorang Diri Novels & Stories

I traveled alone. And as I trudged through the wild, alone and determined, I couldn't help but feel a sense of loneliness and unease. I had never traveled solo before, but with no one left to rely on, I had to take on this journey alone. The thick foliage of the forest closed in around me, and the sounds of nature echoed in my ears.

Isang buwan ko siya makakasama araw-araw dito. Kalma self, isang buwan langh iyan. Mabilis lang iyan. Lilipas din iyan ng hindi mo namamalayan. KUMALMA KA!

I suddenly remember the song called We and Us. I flashed out a smile as I looked beside me. The mug across me remained untouch, but let's just say that you are sitting across me and reminiscing with me. I'll only do this once, so I'll just let myself become delusional even just for once. Perks of being alone. You can do everything without being ashamed or embarrassed.

My nerves are on edge. If I weren’t stiff as a board and freezing to death, I’d be jumpy, but as it is, when I hear the faint step or skitter of rock, I clutch the quilt tighter and try really hard to think about anything other than the fact that I’m all alone, no one knows where I am, and I’m practically human. And it was all my decision.

Each person eats alone, lives alone… as if we are strangers under one roof. So please, act like me, or they will notice. I am a quiet person. I do not like getting close to my family. I spend most of my time alone… without friends, without real connections just me and my silence. It may sound sad, but it is easier than trying to belong to something that does not give you a place. Take care of yourself.

I didn’t know how I’d survive on my own but I didn’t care. As long as I was far away from them. “Beasts like me,” I whispered to myself, “we are meant to live alone.”

I've been gone from California for nearly 48 hours and now I'm just here, all alone. Does anyone know what its like to feel completely alone? Even around people you have known for years but know that they don’t give a damn about what’s going on inside. That even when you feel you’re at your best you can’t seem to do anything right. Everything you do just doesn’t work out. You try your hardest and still fail. And no one is there to pick back up the broken pieces. Loneliness is a horrible thing. It’s a cold feeling. No one should ever have to feel lonely. It consumes you slowly shaking you.

Outside the window, people pass by in their winter coats, absorbed in their own lives, their own dramas. I sit alone with my cold tea and shaking hands and the strange, terrifying relief of having finally said the things I needed to say. Even if she didn't hear them. Even if she never will.

Not even to Nanny. I’m all alone in this whole world.