Liver Puns Novels & Stories

“ Cuckoo” “ Daffy” “ Lunkhead” “ Whacky” “ Zany” “ Loony” “ Kooky” “ Screwball” “ Half-baked” Hudson snapped. “ Inept” “ Daft” “ Dippy” “ Dotty” “ Birdbrain” Alvara snapped back. “ Chucklehead” “ Chowder head” “ Boobish” “ Airhead” “ Brain dead” “ Dense”

“YEAH ! LET THE UNINVITED MOTHERFVCKER GET A TASTE OF ALL OUR ATTENTION AND LOVE” “KILL ! KILL ! KILL !” “BARBECUE HIS ASS, FVCKERS !!” “EVERYONE SHUT THE “HELL” UP ! SEE ? SEE ? WHAT I DID THERE ?” “YEAH SUCKER. YOU USED A PUN FOR THE FIRST TIME IN YOUR LIFE” “HELL NO ! I AM PUN LORD” “NO YOU ARE POOP LORD. THAT’S IT” “SHUT UP, GUYS ! YOU ARE BEING SO UNCOOL”

Noah’s palms were wet, but she still looked at Edwin foolishly, "Hee hee..." Edwin walked up to her with a sneer, "I heard you fainted because of the pain in your belly. Well, it looks like your liver is starting to fail." Noah was shocked, her breath stopped for a moment, and her pupil violently shrank, ‘Liver is starting to fail? What does he mean? Didn't I just have a normal stomachache?’

"Of course, you have to do him the same favor." Another gasp escaped Shauna's lips. She described, "I don't think that's possible, Lily. He -" Shauna was evaluating, seemingly digging through her brain. She said, "Just by looking at his pants, I think he is as big as a cucumber." "Hahahaha!" Lily laughed again. She suddenly remembered how her mother accidentally referred to her father's dick as a cucumber in front of her and her brothers. "What's so funny, Lily?" Shauna asked.

I asked, my concern very evident on my face. "Oh darling, I haven't been too healthy recently" she said, "I was diagnosed with stage two liver cancer about four months ago and the doctors told me I've got about four years to live" she added. Liver cancer? She had to be kidding, right? How could she say that so casually? "You're joking right? 'cause if you are, it's not funny" I said, "Don't say stuff like that" I reprimanded her, which made her chuckle. What part of what I said was funny?

It was a looooong silence. “What, you don’t have some big speech laid out?” I asked, annoyed. He grinned. “Was that an intentional pun, ‘laid out’? Or just a Freudian slip?” I suppose it was a Freudian slip, but I wasn’t about to admit it. “Pun,” I snapped. “So – let’s have it.” “That sounds like another Freudian slip,” he teased. “Why does this conversation remind me of when we were at the gyro place, and you always steered it towards sex?” I asked angrily.

Well, this has become my favourite dish for days now. "Again, ma'am?" She implores, using a tone that summons some bitchy side of me. "What again, Terry?" I query, feeling a bit angry. "You have eaten liver for more than five times in a week now, ma'am." I stare at her, bewildered. "And so?" I fire. What exactly is wrong with that? What if I eat it ten times a week? Will that become another wonder of the world? Well, hello, we drink tea daily, right? Mental eyes roll!

“YEAH ! LET THE UNINVITED MOTHERFVCKER GET A TASTE OF ALL OUR ATTENTION AND LOVE” “KILL ! KILL ! KILL !” “BARBECUE HIS ASS, FVCKERS !!” “EVERYONE SHUT THE “HELL” UP ! SEE ? SEE ? WHAT I DID THERE ?” “YEAH SUCKER. YOU USED A PUN FOR THE FIRST TIME IN YOUR LIFE” “HELL NO ! I AM PUN LORD” “NO YOU ARE POOP LORD. THAT’S IT” “SHUT UP, GUYS ! YOU ARE BEING SO UNCOOL”

I саn’t dо thаt ѕhіt thеѕе dауѕ. First оf аll, my liver соuldn’t tаkе іt, but ѕесоndlу, Lіеutеnаnt Jасоbѕ would hаvе mе оn рrоbаtіоn ѕо fuсkіng fаѕt mу hеаd wоuld ѕріn. I’m glаd Jасоbѕ knоwѕ my history. It’ѕ gооd tо hаvе an emergency handbrake, аѕ I саn’t аffоrd tо gеt fіrеd еvеr again.

"Yes, but not all the time, Ma'am. We still have to take care of ourselves and drink something aside from wine, or else we'll die early because of liver cancer." I didn't know if she just forced herself to laugh like what I said was a joke, but she did laugh again. Can't she hear how unpleasant her laugh sounded like? "Oh, I didn't know you like to joke, Caleb. But anyway, I haven't seen my beloved daughter, where is she?"