My Villainy Starts With a Coffin
My husband and my best friend had seemingly vanished during my grandfather-in-law's funeral. As I searched for them, I passed Shawn Whitaker's coffin and suddenly saw a live chat window flash into view:
[Oh goodie, we're finally dealing with a male lead with a 200 IQ! He dragged Best Girl straight into the coffin before that bitch could find out!]
[Aww, he's comforting Best Girl because she's scared of the dark! Aaaaahhhhh!]
[That annoying extra is still outside looking for Vincent. She's so dumb, oh my god. I'm right here cheering for Best Boy to cheat with Best Girl because I swear that bitch exists just to get in their way!]
Fury surged through me. I moved to flip the coffin lid open, but Jasmine grabbed my arm. "Wait! He can't possibly be in there. I think he went to buy Grandpa coffin nails."
[Get yourself a little sister who helps you find happiness like Jazzy, chat.]
[And now, in the warm, cramped, humid darkness, two bodies collide and sparks fly. This is metal as hell.]
[It's also dangerous as hell. I'm just glad our guy was smart enough to leave a crack for air.]
I smirked. Oh, was he?
I slammed the lid shut, dragged a nearby lounge chair over, and settled into it.
"We've got an hour before the funeral begins, don't we? I think I'll keep Grandpa company."
The audience was stunned. [An hour?! They're going to die in there!]