Naskah Stand Up Comedy Terlucu

From the time I was little, something in me was always a little off—I never listened to the whole story, only half of it. My grandmother called me a good-for-nothing who was financially burdening the family. She bought a little boy to be my younger brother and told me to take good care of him. I understood the part about buying a child, so I immediately called the police and reported her for illegal human trafficking. My father pointed at my face and cursed me for being unfilial, accusing me of cutting off his family line. I obeyed him, crept into his room while he slept that night, and used a knife to "cut off his lineage." My father screamed in agony. In the chaos, he accidentally killed me. When I opened my eyes again, I had transmigrated into the female lead of a melodramatic abuse novel. After ten years of marriage to the cruel male lead, his childhood sweetheart had just returned from abroad and was undergoing kidney surgery. He dragged me to the hospital and cruelly ordered me to donate a kidney to his precious first love. I nodded obediently, went out and bought a pig, and on the spot dug out the pig's kidney and handed it to him.

On our sixth wedding anniversary, my cheeks burn as I dodge my husband, Ethan Grant, leaning in for a hungry kiss. I push him toward the nightstand for a rubber. What he doesn't know is that I've tucked a surprise in there, a positive pregnancy test. I can already see it, the way his whole face will light up the second he finds it. But the moment his hand goes for the drawer, his phone goes off. His best friend, Henry Miller, comes on the line in Danish. "Mr. Grant, how was last night? That new love couch our company rolled out is treating you okay?" Ethan lets out a low laugh and answers in Danish, "The massage feature's great. Saves me from having to rub Sandy's back myself." He still has me pulled tight against him, but his eyes look straight through me, like he's seeing someone else. "This stays between us. If my wife ever finds out I slept with her sister, I'm done." It feels like someone just put a knife through my chest. What they don't know is that I minored in Danish in college, so I catch every single word. I force myself to stay calm, but the arms I have looped around Ethan's neck won't stop shaking. At that moment, I stop hesitating and decide I'll take the offer from that international research project. Three days from now, I'll be gone from Ethan's world for good.

Alpha Logan had given up on finding his mate.Deciding to focus all his energy on work, he is surprised to find that the newly appointed assistant was his mate and human.Now all he needed was to get close to her and hope that the strength of the bond works.But what happens when a misunderstanding causes him to lose the most precious gift given to him.How will he convince her to give him a second chance...• Mature Content• Media Content is not my own• Story content my sole right, plz do not copy• Completed Story

Isabella woke up in the morning and felt the ache in a place that never hurt before. She took a glimpse at her body, and Her thoughts went blank. Isabella's eyes discovered a guy who was laying near her, asleep, and her thoughts brought back to all the bizarre things that transpired last night. My boyfriend of 2 years abandoned me, I was intoxicated and went to my hotel room alone. Someone climbed on me. To say that he was gorgeous is an understatement. If an angel could marry a Satan, then I'm convinced he was their offspring. But it was not the goal! He came to me and kissed me. One thing led to another.. God! This man snatched my virginity. And it was hardly the worst. Guess what! He was my new boss Gabriel Remington. I was his new executive assistant. To top it, my former lover accused my boss that he raped me. What should I do? Trust my former lover who just dumped me? Or.. Trust my new boss who took my virginity?

Hace seis años, ella fue incriminada por su malvada hermana y fue abandonada por su esposo estando embarazada en ese entonces. Seis años después, comenzó una nueva vida con otra identidad. Curiosamente, el mismo hombre que la abandonó en el pasado no había dejado de molestarla."Señorita Gibson, ¿cuál es su relación con el señor Lynch?"Ella sonrió y respondió con indiferencia: "No lo conozco"."Pero las prensas rosas dicen que una vez estuvo casada".Ella respondió mientras se recogía el cabello, “Esos son rumores. No soy tan tonta como para casarme con ese tipo, ¿sabe?”Ese día, el hombre la atrapó contra la pared en el momento en que entró por la puerta.Sus tres bebés vitorearon: "¡Papá dijo que Mamá se había vuelto tonta! ¡Papá dice que te va a curar!". Ella se quejó gimiendo: "¡Por favor, suéltame, cariño!".

After a near-death encounter, Gale, a weak and poor college student, unlocks the mysterious thing residing within him. It was a SYSTEM that can make him level up, with him growing stronger in each levels. It would give him power that will alter his destiny. A power that will catch the attention of the secret societies lurking in the shadows.

“Dibayar berapa lo sama bokap gue, hah?” Rayyan menyudutkan posisi Mita ke tembok. Satu tangannya mencengkeram erat kerah kemeja gadis itu sehingga membuatnya seperti tercekik. Mita kesulitan bicara. Tenggorokannya tercekat karena tekanan tangan Rayyan yang begitu kuat. Tangan kirinya berusaha melepaskan cengkeraman Rayyan sedang tangan kanannya menepuk-nepuk punggung tangan laki-laki itu. “Jawab!” sentak Rayyan. Matanya semakin berkilat merah. Memancarkan gurat amarah sekaligus sedih yang bercampur menjadi satu. “Lep—lepas, Ray. Denger penjelasan aku dulu,” pinta Mita dengan suara terbata. Gadis itu memejam seiring dengan luruhnya butiran kristal dari kedua sudut matanya. “Apa lagi? Udah jelas kalo lo cewek simpenan bokap gue! Lo udah ngerusak keluarga gue!” Rayyan semakin berapi-api. Mita mengangguk perlahan, dia pasrah. “Oke. Oke kalo menurut kamu kayak gitu. Bunuh aku kalo emang itu mau kamu,” lirihnya. Air mata semakin deras membanjiri wajah cantik Swastamita. Apakah Mita akan terus pasrah mendapat perlakuan kasar Rayyan? Akankah Mita benar-benar menyerah untuk tidak menjelaskan masalah sebenarnya pada laki-laki itu? Akankah Rayyan tega menghabisi Mita seperti yang diinginkan gadis itu?

Synopsis Si Luigi Mondragon, isang multi-billionaire at matagumpay na negosyante, ay kilala sa pagiging mapaglaro sa pag-ibig at sa mga babae. Sa likod ng kanyang marangyang pamumuhay, maraming naiinggit at nagtatangkang pabagsakin siya dahil sa kanyang kasikatan at tagumpay sa iba't ibang bansa. Sa isang gabi ng kasiyahan na iniayos ng kaibigan niya sa isang sikat na bar, hindi inaasahan ni Luigi na magbabago ang takbo ng kanyang buhay. Doon niya nakilala si Leona Suarez, isang babaeng lasing at sugatan ang puso, nag-iisa habang naglalasing sa sakit ng pag-iwan sa kanya ng dating kasintahan—pinagpalit ito sa isang bakla. Kaya balis ito nasaktan dahil sa dina-daming pwede ipalit ay bakla pa. Habang umiiyak at sinisigaw ni Leona ang kanyang galit sa mga lalaki, hindi mapigilan ni Luigi ang mabighani sa kanyang tapang at pagiging totoo. Ngunit sa mundo ni Luigi na puno ng intriga, selos, at mga lihim, magagawa ba niyang makuha ang puso ng babaeng pilit iniiwasan ang pagmamahal? O magiging isa lamang si Leona sa mga nadamay sa mapanganib na laro ni Luigi? Isang kwentong puno ng pighati, galit, at pagmamahalan.

My husband, Chandler Goodwin, claims that he doesn't understand what the phrases "silent treatment" or "giving the cold shoulder" mean. Yet, in the three years we have been married, he has never once spoken to me sweetly. The first time we have a falling out, I remain proud and dignified. We end up ignoring each other for seven days straight. The seventh time we have a cold standoff, I start to panic a little. However, despite trying all sorts of methods, he doesn't back down. The 11th time it happens, I have already learned to work through my emotions myself. Chandler doesn't even need to say anything before I take the initiative to apologize first. I simply think that he's just a naturally indifferent person, that nobody can warm his stone-cold heart. Then, on the third year of our marriage, I accidentally ruin his dress shirt while ironing it. Chandler doesn't say a word, but that very night, he packs his things and moves into a hotel. On the third day of being blocked, I head to his company with a handwritten apology. While passing by his office, I spot him leaning over to shoot his angry assistant a doting smile. "I'm sorry for raising my voice at you just now and upsetting you. It's been 57 minutes since you started ignoring me. Please stop giving me the cold shoulder, alright?" I freeze on the spot, the apology letter in my hand practically burning my fingers. As it turns out, it's not that he doesn't know what the silent treatment means—it's just that I've never been the person he wants to coax.

She chased a rich man for revenge. She collided with a mafia king instead. Ophelia Barclay has spent her entire life playing by the rules of a family that never wanted her. Now, after a humiliating betrayal by her fiancé and stepsister days before her wedding, she’s done playing nice. Revenge is the only thing on her mind, and she knows exactly how she’ll get it: find a rich, powerful man who can elevate her beyond the Barclays’ reach, and leave them choking on the dust of her success. First-class flights become her hunting ground. But when she meets Ludwig Gallo, a man whose presence steals the very air from her lungs, her plans unravel before they even begin. He's everything she’s been looking for: dangerous, devastatingly handsome, and so wealthy it hurts to breathe near him. The problem? He doesn’t even glance her way. Humiliated and desperate, Ophelia thinks she’s lost everything… until fate throws her right into Ludwig’s world. Tracking a lost necklace, her most treasured possession, she finds herself sneaking into the heavily guarded Gallo estate, only to be captured by the mafia king himself. Mistaken for a spy, imprisoned in enemy territory, Ophelia’s survival instincts kick in. When Ludwig proposes a deal to pretend to be his girlfriend to silence rumours that have driven his mother into depression, Ophelia sees an opportunity. She’ll play the doting lover, smile for the cameras, win the favour of one of the most feared families in the underworld… and use Ludwig's wealth and power to destroy everyone who wronged her. But Ophelia didn’t plan on Ludwig being more than just a cold-blooded king. Beneath his ruthless exterior, she finds a man haunted by a violent past.