Pickup Funny Lines Novels & Stories

Kate asked, referring to the Heart icon on the main screen. “Oh, that’s the Pick-up Lines feature, a special for users in your country.” “Pick-up lines, huh?” Kate said to herself and pressed the button. In the Philippines, pick-up lines had evolved from creepy or lame one-liners to witty two-line jokes, still cheesy but at least mildly amusing. The formula was typically: | Are you a [object]? … Because [punchline]. | Or in question-and-answer form: | Are you a [object]? No. Why?

Her lip pouts out, “but baby, it smells so good… I want one!” Zak disappears with the pickle jar laughing but what he hadn’t bargained for was Lee, who managed to snipe a handful of dills from the jar. He disperses the pickles. “Here you go ladies, philanthropy at its finest”. The boys that remain die of laughter. We’re all satiating our breakfast munchies when Zak returns, “Lee! You magician son of a…”.

He tried to pull out but Lincoln's grip on his waist was quite firm, “You're going too fast… Oh, Pudding, stop! I'm gonna…” He shot his milky juice into Lincoln's mouth before he could stop himself. Lincoln licked and swallowed every drop of it. He rose to his feet and smirked at Ethan. “Satisfied?” “I told you to slow down!” “What? You didn't wanna come just yet?” Lincoln asked. “Yes! No one wants to come that fast…” “I don't care!” Lincoln interrupted sharply, “I'm just your cum dump, right? I took your cum, I can leave now, can't I? Give me my phone!”

And I want to be the reason she stops. Elliot leans in, voice slick. “Prime candidates tonight.” He nods toward the bar. A blonde with dead eyes licks the rim of a martini glass like she thinks she’s interesting. “Looking for an afterparty,” I mutter, flat. Julian chuckles from his seat, lazy and lethal. “You two are always chasing. Let them come to us for once.” Elliot grins. “Where’s the fun in that?” There is no fun. They’re all too easy.

I furrowed my brow with a pout. “Yes, you're clumsy and adorable.” Then he winks and walks away with a smirk on his face.

The stainless-steel bowl sat beneath the banquet lights, the metallic finish nearly blinded me. It was no longer simply a dog bowl; it now contained half-eaten food, scraps, and greasy leftovers. Grant stood on the stage, dangling my year-end bonus check between two fingers. His beady eyes glinted with amusement, like he was a circus master waiting for his cheap little circus act to perform. I inhaled deeply. This time, I didn't lower my head. I didn't bend my back like I always had just to pick up their so-called "reward."

“I’ve never done it in a pickup before.” “As a dedicated, lifelong pickup owner, it’s my sworn duty to show you the kinky pleasures of the flesh that can be performed in a pickup, while tryin’ to avoid bangin’ your head into the steering wheel, and smackin’ your ass into the dash.” He grinned. “It’ll be all kinds of fun poppin’ your pickup cherry, sugar.” “Okay. Lunch. Tomorrow. Here. We’ll save the truck rendezvous for another time. Will one o’clock work?”

The unknown number sent one final message: Unknown: Interesting night, wasn’t it? (Adds a winking emoji) I dropped the phone onto the couch like it had burned me. My hands were trembling so badly I could barely pick it up again. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Remington's full fucking mouth slip open, eyes widen on my dick then he struggles against the men "Fight all you want, but while fucking sucking my cock" He starts shaking more but the grip on his shoulders is harder Elliott walks over- finally fucking recovered with no concussion- Thank fucking God. He fists Remington's hair, making his mouth open and I shove my dick inside. Oh Fucking Shit It feels better than a bitch's pussy

Emma chuckled after painting a vivid picture of small Elaine literally kicking Lincoln out of the house, for humor purposes she asked Lincoln, “Aren’t we in summer?” Lincoln threw the small pillow beside him at Emma but she caught it without even looking at it. As expected Lincoln thought, there was no one he knew that could beat Emma’s face reflexes. “I think it’s cute though, I should pay her a visit and buy those sour pickles she likes so much.” Lincoln grimaced and picked up the remote to change the station of the TV, “Buy her anything else but that please or she’ll make me eat it with something just as weird to satisfy her cravings.”