Pinoy Classic Jokes

"How dare you keep my son away from me?!" "You rejected me and didn't want to do anything with me!" "I will reject you all over again to punish you for this!" "Jokes on you if you think I care about your rejection anymore." ___ Delilah was the contracted bride of Alpha Stephen Knight even after being his fated mate. Losing her parents at a young age was hard enough for her and getting brutally rejected by her mate was the last straw for her. She left with dignity and vowed to never turn back. But what happens when her past comes back to prove destiny once again? Stephen Knight never wanted anything to do with her but was that going to change when he sees her after years? She has changed but he hasn't. He is still the same heartless man. In the game of lies, revenge and pain, they will discover truths that's going to shatter their lives. Will Delilah find Stephen beside her or will he break her heart once again?

[How do you avoid the darkly handsome Beta that wants to... eat you?] Camilla: I was sent to Alpha Jackal’s mansion to pay off my foster parent’s debt. It wasn’t something I feared until I learned that Rin, the pack's Beta, is a powerful demon. Now I'm stuck under the same roof as Rin, and there is no chance of avoiding him. I wish I could. Why? Because a demon murdered my parents in cold blood. I fear Rin. Demons are monstrous, which is why it must be one of life's cruel jokes to have inserted Rin into my life. Rin: I should stay away from the new housekeeper, but how could I possibly keep away from the seductive she-wolf? She is gorgeous, and my Alpha would punish me if he knew badly I wanted her to sit on my face, squirming and moaning my name. He can never know the truth, especially not since he seems interested in her too.

Have you ever pain so raw it feels like your hear is being dragged out of your heart? The type that breaks into pieces you could never find because they are lost to the wind of scorn and shame. Cassandra carries her pain like a weight on her shoulder everyday despite her smiles and jokes, too young to remember what it felt like to have parents before she lost hers to an accident her grandparents do not like talking about she is trying to find the little good life has in store for her. But she is given a brutal awakening when the one person she thought would bring her much needed happiness tosses her aside. So Cassandra runs away from it all, she runs far enough to never feel the despair looming behind her. And she runs into the arms of Ray, handsome, cocky, but caring, considerate, and loving. Cassandra is about to find out love works without the mate ties and build bonds with the most unlikely people. Cassandra is about to find the love acceptance she always yearned for in the most unlikely place.

It’s all fun and games until a body washes up…. Beth Monroe just wants to make it through the summer baseball season without being the constant target of her brother Shane’s jokes, but he is relentless, and she’s ready to lock herself in her room and hide. Until the new girl shows up. Halley appears in small town Barryville like a ghost. No one knows where she came from or anything about her past, not even her last name. When she gives Beth a piece of unsolicited advice that, “It’s what’s on the outside that counts,” Beth changes everything about herself. By the time Beth realizes she’s becoming a monster, it might be too late, and Halley has already sunk her claws into Beth’s best friend Ryan—who might’ve been something more if Beth had opened her eyes a little earlier. As Halley’s past catches up to her, Beth realizes there’s more to this mysterious girl than she realized. Can she stop Halley from revealing her true, monstrous nature to Ryan before it’s too late?

I was setting up a weekend shopping list on the tablet my husband had just replaced for our home system. A notification popped up. He had forgotten to log out of a shared, encrypted family calendar— one I didn’t recognize. There was only one unfamiliar profile photo. I tapped it. A list titled “My Little Princess – Personal Notes” filled the screen. My Little Princess doesn’t drink alcohol—only mineral water or herbal tea. No late nights. She needs absolute quiet to sleep. She gets anxious easily—keep fresh white lilies in the house and her favorite vanilla chocolates on hand. I scrolled slowly, my expression unreadable. The final entry was bolded. Highlighted. “Next Wednesday: take my Little Princess to choose her wedding crown.” I closed the screen. Then I picked up my phone and called my husband. “Love,” I said gently. “Does your Little Princess prefer a classic European bridal crown… or something more traditional? I thought I could help you choose.”

“Poor Alondra, finally falling for someone, yet, he is the one she cannot have.’’ ** “Can a heart be broken when it’s already stopped beating?’’ Seraphina asked, while she stared at the moonlight. “I suppose not.” “Then strive to be so, Alondra. Your love for the Alpha tears you apart. What happens when you finally see him mate with another? Will you break? Or will you finally stop holding your breath…” *************** Raised in a classic Cinderella story, everyone believed Alondra Greene was cursed. With a stepmother who hated her and two step sisters who mistreated her, she couldn’t have it any worse. However, having fallen in love with the only good thing in her life, her best friends, and soon to be Alpha, Weston Pierce, she is just unsure of everything. What happens when Weston is to assume the new role of Alpha and the responsibilities that come with it? Can Alondra caution the fall that comes with being abandoned by him and having to bottle her feelings for him? Does the Alpha feel the same, or is all this just some hopeless story where Cinderella loved the wrong prince?

A night out with close friends was supposed to be fun and entertaining but Iris found herself in a tight chokehold by a crazy criminal instead. College life was supposed to be full of frat parties and craziness but Iris found herself being watched by the sharp eyes of her new hot bodyguard who wouldn't just give in to her whines nor demands. A classic party with elite businessmen like her billionaire father was supposed to be dull and boring but she found the new meaning of adventure by getting kidnapped by a man who looks too hot and too kind to be a cold blooded murderer. Falling in love was supposed to be peaceful and feeling imaginary butterflies in your stomach but she found it actually meant trying to find yourself again,learning to endure the pain it creates. Falling in love with your bodyguard? It violets the rule of business. Falling in love with your kidnapper? It violates the rule of nature.She likes to invest her time in business and utilize her time by enjoying the nature. So the question arises--- If destiny is fated,will her love get divided? While she is at it, she might also discover the truth that lies far beneath her reach and face the grim reality of life.

My roommate was a classic bimbo. When I went to arrange a jogging meetup, she mistyped it as a hookup and sent it straight into the group chat, then burst into tears and claimed she didn't know how to retract the message. When I went to meet my jogging buddy, she told everyone that she ran into my "hookup buddy." At the end, she even covered her mouth and giggled sweetly, saying, "I always mix words up." After a few stunts like that, my reputation was utterly ruined, and the entire class shut me out. Later, she used her "clumsiness" as an excuse to spike my milk with sleeping pills, causing me to miss a major exam. She even dropped toxic bacteria into my water cup and killed me outright. And all of it was over something that stupid: the guy she had a crush on had casually helped me carry my luggage on the first day of school. When I opened my eyes again, I was back on the very first day of freshman orientation. This time, I am going to let her experience what it felt like to be ruined—and killed—by a so-called idiot.

She is a free spirit, trapped in a bird cage of death, danger and despair. Little Alessa has always known one thing above all- she was born to be the perfect Principessa of the Cosa Nostra, the Italian Mafia. She was urged to smile when asked to, laugh even when the jokes were anything but funny, charming to all who were allies. She was perfection incarnate...well, that's what they think. They know nothing of her wild abandon, of her plans to be anything but the perfect princess, royalty of a world dredged so deep in blood, she choked on it. Her plans to run were absolute...well, until HE came along. The mysterious Pakan-a Don like her father- shielded by the shadows that he ruled from. He was the anomaly that she least expected. He destroyed her plans and she hated him for it. So why then does her heart beat so fast when he is near? Why is he the one she thinks about before she sleeps? Why does she so long to see him when she's sad? She wanted the freedom, the life beyond the shadows and explore the world. But Emerald colored eyes, cocky smirks, rough hands, cigarettes and darkness were starting to look a little more appealing...

"He owns you. Whatever he tells you to do, you do". One year. No future. A past that won't go away. Lennox "Nox" Demetri broke his own rule by making a deal. It may not have been directly with the devil, but that doesn't mean Satan himself isn't watching. Was it fate that brought Charli into his life and his bed? What will happen when rules are broken and secrets are revealed? "New rules...my rules." Alex "Charli" Collins found pleasure with Nox like she'd never known. That was before she knew his last name. Now that Infidelity is involved and the rules have changed, what will result when real life and fantasy collide? Is it really cheating if you're doing it to yourself? From New York Times and USA Today bestselling author Aleatha Romig comes a sexy, new dominant hero who knows what he wants and a strong-willed heroine who has plans of her own. With classic Aleatha Romig twists, turns, deceptions, and devotions, the depth of this new, epic dark romance reaches new levels and will have readers swooning one minute and screaming the next. Have you been Aleatha'd?