Pinoy Classic Jokes Novels & Stories

"Not me. I'm a bastard and straight, in case you forgot. I meant anyone else who isn't an obsessive idiot stalker." The tension spiked, sharp and hostile. For a moment, I considered lunging across the table and breaking his jaw. I could tell from the way the human's fists tightened he'd welcome it. He was actively taunting me. But then Conan raised a hand between us and blurted out: "Okay! Okay. How about a joke I've heard before? Let's see... Why aren't Koalas considered bears?" Silence. "...Because they never had the Koala-fications!"

Sure enough, Adrian closed his mouth. "Darling, then I will tell you a joke. There was a toothpick that was walking along the road. Just then, it saw a hedgehog running past the middle of the road, and then it shouted something at the hedgehog. Guess what it shouted? Yes, it is called the hedgehog 'bus'!! Haha, it's funny, isn't it?" RK felt that listening to Adrian's jokes would make him want to sleep even more than listening to him recite poems. This guy couldn't even tell a good joke. What was the meaning of telling a joke that everyone already knew? Would Stella laugh? What a childish kid.

he said, then continued eating. “And you know how it is in the Philippines—nicknames are either doubled or completely unrelated to your real name. Like our old neighbor, her name was Jonalyn. Her nickname? Tilapia-the fish. Another one was named Jovit, but they called him Betlôg (Men's balls). Where’s the justice in that?” I went on. Jasper burst out laughing. He probably related. I don’t know what my parents were thinking. Maybe they sniffed mosquito coil the day I was born.

"This man is sick." Lindy: I HAVE NEVER MET A MAN AS STUPID AND DIRTY AS YOU! Well too bad, I don't fit your standards. I'm a VERY old woman, with cane, white hairs and wrinkles. Milo smiled to himself, “I have way better jokes than that.” He sounded proud. Mill: That's cute. But you call that funny? Okay, I'm giving you a chance this time. But only one time. Ha-ha. See? I laughed. I laughed at your joke because your like a cute little hot ripe apple that's ready to be eaten.

] "One of the things I like about him... He's a corny joker." ["Like what?"] I clap my hands once. "About teleporting mosquitos. Anyhow, he can make me laugh." ["He could have learned from me~ To make a woman laugh is to make them fall for that man."] "Like what?" ["Hmm, what do you call a mosquito inside the mosquito net?"] "What?"

"Why are you soaking there, the sun is so hot." "They don't want to wait," he said in between laughs. "I just gave them at least P100 so they can buy ice water." "Just drive there!" I don't know about this man but sometimes I just laugh in my head because of what he says. He seemed like he was talking seriously but as a listener, it didn't sound like that. Just like what he said earlier, he's serious but for me, he's throwing a joke. "Did I ever make you smile?"

May manok ng tutuklaw, ako lang dapat. Joke lang! "Famous, girl. Hindi naman maganda!" Inartehan pa talaga niya. Ano bang pinaglalaban ng babae na ‘to? Hindi na ako nakapagpigil, ang dami siyang say, eh! Hindi ko naman hinihingi ang opinyon niya. "Pag inggit, pikit!" Pagpaparinig ko. Kung gawin ko kaya siyang sahog sa pancit, sa tingin ba niya nakakapagsalita pa siya?

“Hey, no brooding. This is an adventure, not a prison sentence. Let me distract you.” She turned to him, her expression wary. “What are you going to do? Tell me one of your terrible jokes?” “You wound me,” he said, clutching his chest dramatically. “But yes. Absolutely.” He cleared his throat, adopting a serious tone. “Why don’t skeletons fight each other?” Riele blinked, momentarily thrown off. “Why?” “Because they don’t have the guts.” The joke was terrible. Absolutely awful. But Riele burst into laughter anyway, the tension in her chest breaking apart with each giggle. Jay grinned, triumphant, as if her joy were his greatest victory.

"I'm Aki–Cinderella. The boy version, to be precise. You guys got names?" Nang maubos ngatngatin ng isa ang piraso ng potato chips ay naghulog ulit ako ng isa. Nakipag-agawan pa ang isa kaya naghulog ulit ako. Muli akong napabuntong-hininga ng sandaling iyon at napasimangot din pagkaraan.

Dala ko ba yung mga shot glass at alak? “Smile ka na, pare. Eto naman, sa Friday pa naman deadline n’on, sabi mo?” sabi sa akin ni Jin. Nagbuga na lang ako ng malalim na buntonghininga, kasabay ng pagkunot lalo ng noo ko.