Sarcastic Haters Quotes Funny Novels & Stories

My husband, Steve Malone, thinks of himself as a highly-educated person. Not only that, but he's also very uninterested in physical intimacy. When we go to bed every night, we have to sleep with a bowl of water between us. In fact, Steve refuses to let me touch him at all. But on the day he returns from the volunteer teaching program in the countryside, I discover a pair of pantyhose all tangled up in his clothes. Upon hearing my question, Steve maintains his cool facade as he explains, "This is contraband that I've confiscated from a student." I never respond to Steve. Instead, I get in contact with the female teacher, Rebecca Cramer, who has gone teaching with Steve earlier. From the other end of the line, Rebecca's sarcastic voice drifts over. "Your husband sure is unstoppable, Audrey. He couldn't resist kneeling in the pig sty while licking the dead skin off that Paige widow's feet. No one could stop him at all. "I heard that Paige even intends to give birth to a child for him. They went at it once per day, you know. I think you should head over here and witness everything for yourself." As soon as I end the call, I contact my lawyer right away and prepare to file for a divorce. This time, I'm hell-bent on ending things with Steve.

Three years ago, Lucas’ mother paid me ten million dollars to play his fated mate with the help of a potion. Lucas believed I was hopelessly in love with him. What he didn’t know was that I was nothing more than a hired actress. By day, I stood at his side during training. By night, he paraded a she-wolf through the mansion. He once sneered, “Don’t delude yourself into thinking the mate bond can change me.” I only smiled, silently counting my money. “Funny, because I never planned on giving you my heart, either.” On the day the potion wore off, I walked away with the fortune, while he spiraled into madness. Three years later, I returned victorious as the youngest S-class strategy consultant. There he was, on his knees, murmuring, “I was wrong.” Little did Lucas know that his arrogance, handed out like charity, had carried a hefty price tag of ten million. Now, even if he lost everything, it still wouldn’t be enough to buy my forgiveness.

They call it Area Alpha 101. It doesn’t appear on the world map or the satellites, but it’s rumoured to be there. It’s unofficially the largest continent on Earth, but the humans aren’t educated on it. Only the top shots in the governments and monarchies know about it, but have kept it a secret from everyone else. No-one answers questions regarding it. People have been quoted saying that they tried to get in, but they only hit a barrier. This barrier is said to be invisible, yet you can’t see what’s on the other side. For centuries, no-one has been able to get past the barrier, and those who try, come away ‘bewitched’, or so it has been reported. You know what the funny part about this is? There are literally signs that say “NO HUMANS ALLOWED” just a distance away from the ‘barrier’. You can imagine the insane theories that the human civilization has come up with in regards to what they imagine could be behind the barrier. The biggest guess as you yourself would probably guess is aliens; but that’s just it – NO-ONE knows what’s behind the barrier. Except me that is. Or so I thought.

Three hours after my engagement banquet ended, I was stuffed into a burlap sack and thrown straight into the ocean. By the time deep-sea divers found me, my body had swollen into something grotesque and barely recognizable. The police called my fiancé right away to come identify the remains, but he could not have sounded less interested. "So, she's dead. So what? I'll show up at the funeral when the time comes." Left with no choice, the police dialed the second starred contact in my phone. It was my own brother. He laughed so hard that he doubled over. "Dead? Last I checked, it's not April Fools'. Not a funny joke. And do me a favor. Tell Selene Corvin I couldn't care less about her corpse. Throw it back in the ocean to feed the fish. I don't care." He did not know that I did end up as fish food for a very long time. The moment my remains appeared on that massive screen, however, both my fiancé and my brother lost their minds.

"WHY?...Why are you doing this to me?" he scremed defening my ears. "I..." before I could say something he grabbed me by my arms and before I knew it, I was pinned to the wall. "Why would you say such a thing? I could never even think about anyone else but you, then how dare you suggest Mom about my second marriage?!" he said through grunted teeth with eyes daggered deep into mine. Desperate, searching for an answer. 'Don't cry....Don't cry...' I kept on repeating in my head. Don't let him see your pain. Don't let him know the reason why you are ready to give the love of your life to someone else. Don't let him know.....the truth that....you're DYING. .......Don't love someone soo much that you can't let them go...... Sania's life changes when she's asked to marry a total stranger by giving up her mundane yet perfect life. Zaheer is the most charming and perfect husband you'd ever find. Love finds its way and thier life was perfect until, Sania gets the greatest shock of her life and takes the most cruel decision. To share her love....her husband with someone else. But....is life really soo perfect as we think?

Tierney Chandler left her small town—and perfect fiancé—years ago to chase down her dreams. Years later, the town’s still small, her dreams are mostly still dreams, and her ex is still perfect. Maybe it’s time to ditch her failing dreams pick up where she left off…Jack Elliott is a baker making his dreams come true one pie at a time. Years ago, those dreams included Tierney. At least until his annoyingly perfect cousin stole her away. Now, he’s got a second chance, and he’s determined not to waste it. Can Jack convince Tierney that he’s the dream she’s been waiting for?

To think that running away from home and going to live with her aunt in Arizona was a good idea. Crystal Swan, daughter of the Gamma of the Black Moon pack, was a girl who really did not like to follow the rules. Not because she naturally hates them but, because of how she was raised by her Father. And after she finds out that her father was getting her engaged to the Captain of the warrior's son, she decides that enough is enough and leaves to go and stay with her aunt, leaving her younger brother to take up the mantle of Gamma. Although it seems her father is not ready to let go of his most prized possession, especially because she holds something powerful inside. Until then, Crystal decides to finish up her high school and explore the world. But things don turn up the way she hoped they would. With a possessive mate, anything can happen even worse if his an Alpha.

The road to success isn't an easy one . Especially when you are poor and meet a rich spoiled jerk . The first time we saw each other was when I saved an old lady from being crushed by his car . After saving the old lady his car slashed the rainwater on the hole of the ground was splashed on me , making me a public laughing stock , just his presence gets me to my nerves . I had enough problems , a jerk like him was all I needed to make my life turn upside down . Four years passed . I finished university and graduated with top grades as a lawyer and bodyguard . Just when I thought that I could finally start my plan of becoming successful , our paths crossed again . This time he had become the arrogant devil with a cold face . Fate is being unfair by making me suffer in the hands of this devil once again . The leader of a huge empire died without naming the name of the inheritor to his fortune . In order to protect my family and give them a better future , I had no choice but to comply with his wishes and help him sit on that throne . How could I , a normal girl , help the heir to a multi-billion company sit on the chair of the leader ? Turns out that the devil needs a lawyer to play in his favor . After he had succeeded, after we each got what we were aiming for , we would go our separate ways . I never wanted to be entangled with him . Meeting him was a mistake from the very beginning . When our collaboration came to an end , he was supposed to let me go but instead of gaining my freedom , I got locked up again . Can I ever escape this man ?

Cadence has worked very hard to be at the top of her class, and the lead investigative reporter for her college newspaper. All she wants is to be a successful she-wolf who stands on her own and prove that not all females are meant to be pregnant and barefoot in the kitchen. She makes her own decisions, lives by her own rules. That is, until her final assignment before graduation sends her into the lion’s den. The local pack to her college is Moon Bay, and home to Alpha Keller, whose sons are popular football players and playboys. How will Cade’s strong will and determined attitude hold up against two identical twins who are future Alphas? Turns out the goddess was indeed playing at something with this match! The twins struggle to win over their mate, who more than makes them work for it! In this battle of the sexes only one can come out on top! Follow along with their story in Taunting the Twin Alphas!

Age is just a number. Or at least that's what Maxwell Cooper thinks whenever he hits on his best friend's mother, Amanda, who is very much divorced and extremely attractive in his eyes. Amanda, highly aware of the obvious infatuation that Maxwell has on her, tries to avoid his advances towards her given their conflicting age differences. She speculates that Maxwell's attraction towards older women is deeply rooted to fact that he might just have some 'Mommy issues'. Maxwell refutes the hypothesis by claiming that he's only attracted to her , not older women in general. Both are put to the test when Amanda , returning from yet another failed date one night, runs into Maxwell who notices the tears in her eyes and proceeds to comfort her. This leads to her inviting her to her house which would be a convenient move seeing as Zac, Maxwell's best friend and Amanda's son, had gone to visit his father in New York for the weekend, leaving her alone for the weekend. They end up sharing a bottle of wine, getting drunk while reminiscing on the simpler days. A kiss is shared during the vulnerable moment between these two, which would lead to regrets and broken friendships.