Sarcastically Funny Quotes Novels & Stories

"Now you listen. You are mine. Your whole existence is mine. You live for me. Breathe for me. Exist for me. If I tell you to do something. You do it. No questions asked. If I tell you to jump off a building, I want no hesitation from you. I am the master and you are my slave. Do you get me?" Isabella Russo lost her parents to a car crash when she was just eight years old, she moves to Italy to live with her father's sister. 10 years later, she finds out that she was given off to the Perez Mafia family as collateral. What will happen when Capo Domenico Perez comes to take what's his? In a bid to make him fall for her, will she succeed? Or would she find herself falling for the dangerous capo with no one to catch her.

His voice dropped lower. “You saw the news, didn’t you? The little warning on the LED TV?” Her eyes flickered. “…Yes, sir.” “Then why didn’t you turn back?” Her mouth opened, but no words came out. “And you saw they’ve never shown my face on the news.” He tapped his temple, eyes glinting. “But now you’re staring right at me. You know exactly what I look like. You think I’ll let you walk away?” “No! Please!” Isabella’s voice cracked, tears falling. “I promise with my mother’s grave—I’ll never speak of this! Please, just spare me!” Alessandro smirked, lifting his gun. “People like you swear. People like you also betray. Let’s see…” Her whole body locked. “No, no, please—” The gun fired. Isabella screamed. But when she opened her eyes, the bullet hole smoked in the wooden floor beside her. Her chest heaved. Her hands shook. She collapsed onto the ground, sobbing. Alessandro leaned back, laughing softly. Then—something in her snapped. She pushed herself up on trembling legs. “You want to kill me? Then fucking do it!” His brows lifted. “What the fuck is wrong with you gangsters?” she yelled, her voice shaking. “Do I look like someone who can hurt you? You almost made me wet my pants out there with your bullets. Do you think that’s funny?” One of his men growled, stepping forward, hand raised. “How dare you talk to the boss like that—” “Stop,” Alessandro ordered sharply, raising his hand without taking his eyes off her. Isabella’s chest heaved. “You think taking lives is funny?” She beat her chest with her fist. “Fine. I’m going to walk out that door right now. Shoot me if you want.”

Fate can be a funny thing. One minute, you are the beloved daughter of a powerful alpha, and the next, you're nothing more than a tool used to join forces with another strong pack. And if you don't go along with what is expected of you, the one who is using you for personal gain will make your life a living hell and destroy anything that is precious to you.Because of this, Denali Ozera finds herself married to the cold and ruthless Rosco Torres, alpha of the Crystal Fang pack and enemy not only to her, but her entire family. But by some weird twist of fate, Rosco isn't what others say he is, and he is even willing to help Denali get back everything that was meant to be hers.Together, Denali and Rosco devise a plan to destroy Denali's father and her stepmother and sister. All Rosco asks for in return is Denali's mind, body, and soul.

Staring at the garden doors, waiting for her to walk in after her first shift, the doors swing open and I stuck in place at the sight, her long beautiful blonde curls cascading down the front of another Alpha's chest, her face buried in his neck, her tan legs wrapped around his waist as her body lays against his back. I stumble backwards, I can't breathe, my wolf growls in my head, "MINE!" Looking in the rearview she's waving her arms and jumping up and down in a white t-shirt. I know what she wants, and I'll need to go off grid until I can convince my wolf to take the rejection. I scream, "STOP, COME BACK!" as I watched as the small red taillights disappear into the darkness. A tear rolled down my cheek as I turned and looked at the pack house, my wolf howled in my head, "MATE, GO AFTER HIM NOW!" This isn’t how I imagined my 18th birthday would go. I return to the Alpha Academy in Denver, only to find him gone, I steal his car and now sit at a crossroad, my wolf stirs, "go east." I sarcastically laughed, "really and you know this how?" She giggles, "his wolf will direct him back to the last place he scented you, he's heading back to NY." I arch a brow, " we'll track our Alpha, and hear his explanation." Following the path of bloody bodies, in the dodgiest bars, I know I'm on the right path but finding a young girl with his scent all over her, crying in a car outside of one, not what I was expecting. He did it to her too, captured her heart and walked away, just like he did me. Now I want a rejection not an explanation.

Book one of The Moon & Sun Series. Fate is a very funny thing. Sometimes it can bring something amazing into your life, a grand new adventure that will test and challenge you. That will help you grow and learn where you belong in this world. Other times, well... she's just a gigantic witch with a sick sense of humour. I never asked for any of this to happen, to be beat down, hurt and struggle and fight everyday to grow and get better. This was never what I imagined my life would be like. But I'm not one to shy away from a challenge. And I sure as hell won't let a man define me. I make my own path, I will do what needs to be done and if I have to do it on my own, well then so be it.I'll be stronger for it, and there's nothing a man fears more than a strong woman.

Olwen suddenly received news that lightning struck, her father wanted her to marry Dylan, the son of a rich family. Dylan is a man with a reputation for debauchery, looking down on women. Olwen was not allowed to refuse because it was an obligation she had to fulfill towards her family. After trying every way to get out of the marriage but all failed. Olwen is depressed, desperate to find the pub. There she let herself get drunk and gave her virginity to Luca. The next day, before leaving, Olwen impromptu suggested to Luca that on her wedding day come and take her away and Luca showed up. A strawberry robbery that was never well-planned happened. As a result, a lot of troubles and storms came to the couple. A love born in a situation that is ironic, funny, but encounters opposition from many sides. After going through difficulties and challenges together, will Olwen and Luca have complete happiness?

Olivia Harmon's marriage was not ideal. Her husband cheated on her at the time she needed him most. Despite his effort to pay for his mistakes, Olivia never really moved on from her heartbreak. She couldn't understand why someone whom she trusted most would be the one person who betrayed her. And then she met Roman. Blue eyes, full of charms, a smile that could brighten up her darkest nights, funny, and a face that made any woman turned their heads. Their love affair was fervent, refreshing, passionate, romantic, and brief. It was over as soon as it began until they meet again two years later in unexpected circumstances. Lies. Deceit. Guilt. Passion. Love. Infatuation. Olivia found herself in a tug-of-war with herself. Tangled in the complexity of her marriage and her new love. She soon discovered she was not the only one with secrets, leading them to an inevitable doom.

If these three months pass and I don't shed a single tear because of you, Chris... you will apologize to me and my family at the door of our home in my city, on both knees in our neighborhood! His eyes narrowed and shone intensely, only seconds until he came towards me and I was still leaning on the door, he stood right in front of me and raised my chin with his left hand.. He forced me to stare at him and said coldly: I apologize to you?? you ?! I have heard many jokes in my life..but a funny joke like this..I have never heard of it..this was what our agreement stipulated before I threw myself into his world, but events took another turn that I did not expect..who are you!! Which one of them would you be? What is the nature of your colorful world?! Rather, the most important.. What is my fault in all these intertwining and where fate takes me?

Zoey Blake swore off athletes the day she caught her hockey player boyfriend cheating with a cheerleader. She's done with games, on and off the ice, and plans to keep her distance from that world for good. But when her new tutoring assignment lands her with four players from her ex’s rival team, staying away gets complicated. They're nothing like she expected, frustrating, funny, and unexpectedly kind. And when they ask her to help with a plan to get back at her ex, she agrees, even if it means pretending to be part of their world again. What starts as a simple favour slowly blurs the lines Zoey worked hard to draw. The more time she spends with them, the harder it becomes to remember why she built those walls in the first place. She promised herself she’d never fall for another hockey player. She never imagined four of them might change her mind.

Siddharth Jindal is a young Dermatologist. He is everything a girl could want in her life partner... He is tall, dark, handsome, rich, funny, successful and has a very cool family. Girls are crazy about him but he is just friendly with everyone. Until one day when he goes to do some lighthearted friendly ragging of the freshers. Shruti Singh is a smart, confident and intelligent girl, who fights her family to make an identity of her own and becomes a doctor. She belongs to a conservative family where education for girls is not very important. They just want them to get married to a well-settled man. Siddharth likes her but she avoids him like plague due to some incident. He tries his level best to make her understand but she blocked him from her life. This keeps going on till his sister-in-law decides to play cupid. Read this book and find out how she brings them together.