Shower Thoughts Funny

I always had a unique kind of mind-reading ability—I could hear the thoughts of people who didn't truly love me. On the night before my wedding, I suddenly heard my fiance's thoughts. 'If she shows up unexpectedly to disrupt the wedding tomorrow, will wearing leather shoes make it harder to escape?' I didn't say a word. The next day, without a second thought, I boarded a plane and left Chilia. In the end, that wedding, regarding a runaway bride and groom who never showed up, became the city's most infamous joke.

On New Year's Eve, I waited at home with a box of sparklers, hoping Jake Thompson would come. Instead, an earthquake struck. Trapped under fallen debris, I prayed for his safety. Little did I know, Jake was putting on a grand fireworks display across the city for his high school sweetheart who had just returned from abroad. The whole town buzzed with excitement, wishing them a lifetime of happiness together. Meanwhile, I had lost my hearing in the disaster, with no hope of recovery. When I tried to break off our engagement and leave town, Jake stood before me, his eyes red-rimmed and pleading. I couldn't understand a word he said. I simply wished him, “May you always have a day like today, year after year.”

To drown away her pain from a harsh breakup, Jayda went to a bar to get wasted. She met Sebastian Miller, The multimillionaire with the worst personality but incredibly sexy. She had a one night stand with him, creating a bond that binds them forever!

Since the day Serenity got hitched to a stranger on their blind date, she had assumed married life would be ordinary but respectful and mundane. It never crossed her mind that her new husband would be clingy like a piece of gum stuck to the bottom of a shoe. To her utmost surprise, he could make her troubles disappear whenever she was in a fix. Despite her questioning, her husband would always pass it off as luck. Until one day, she watched an interview with a local billionaire known for fussing over his wife. That was when she noticed the uncanny resemblance of the billionaire to her husband. The wife whom he was showering attention on turned out to be her!

Rosalie Jacobs had been married to Byron Lawrence for three years before finally getting a divorce. The entirety of Coast City frowned upon her as the outcast wife of a rich family.Six years later, Rosalie returned to the country with a pair of twins and became a world renowned miracle doctor.Countless people flocked to marry her.Suitor No. 1 said, "Miss Jacobs, are your children missing a father? What do you think of me? If you agree, I will treat them like my own."Suitor No. 2, "Miracle doctor Jacobs, I was blown away by your beauty and talent when I first met you. I would like the chance to love you to the best of my ability for the rest of my life. President Lawrence is blind to turn his back on you. I would never leave you!"Just then, a little girl appeared. She hugged Rosalie's leg and said, "Mommy, daddy has been kneeling on the washboard for three days and three nights now. He asked if you’d calmed down yet. If you have, he wants to go to the Civil Affairs Bureau to get remarried."

Despite being single, Molly May had become pregnant without her knowing how six years ago. As a result, she fell into disrepute and got abandoned by her family.Six years later, she returned with her triplets: Alex, Ben, and Claudia. The triplets with high IQ found that Sean Anderson was their biological father. Hence, they went to meet him without telling their mother.However, the CEO refused to recognize his offspring. “I have lived chastely and never had physical contact with a woman.”“DNA doesn’t lie, and that’s a fact,” said Alex, the eldest of the bunch.“People say men will forget what they've done after pulling on pants. It seems to be true,” said Ben, the middle child.“You should be happy and grateful to have three adorable kids and a beautiful wife,” said Claudia, the youngest of the bunch.While Sean played the role of a father and his relationship with the triplets grew rapidly, he was estranged from his wife.So the triplets taught him tips and tricks to pursue women: making bold moves, stealing kisses, proposing, etc.Nevertheless, Molly was distraught by his moves. “Such flirting skills befit an experienced male escort.”When Sean's identity was finally revealed, he retorted, “You are the 'escort.' Your entire family are 'escorts!'”

SIX-PACK SERIES BOOK THREE *While this book can be read as a standalone, I'd highly recommend reading books one (Alpha Gray) and two (Alpha Theo) for context before this book* JAX : I'm no stranger to one night stands. Lots of girls want a hook-up with an alpha, so why should this one be any different? Maybe it's because she's the best I ever had. Maybe it's because she refused to tell me anything about herself. We agreed to one night, no strings attached. The problem is, I can't get that night out of my head; I've been obsessed with finding this girl since. When she shows up at the squad complex for training, I feel like it's my lucky day- until my best friend introduces her as his sister and things get... complicated. I can't go against bro code, right? Even if Quinn is my dream girl. Even if there's a crazy attraction between us that's harder to resist every day. I'm so screwed.  ~ QUINN : One night. It was supposed to be one night of anonymous, meaningless with a stranger. I just wanted to have a good time and forget about my cheating ex. It definitely did the trick- I haven't thought about my ex since, but now I can't stop thinking about that night or the sexy stranger who had all the right moves. When I arrive at the complex for a fresh start, I'm shocked to see him again- and even more surprised to find out that he's not only an alpha, but also one of my brother's best friends. Theo would Jax if he found out about that night. He can never know- which means I have to keep my distance. Even if I can't stop fantasizing about Jax. Even if it kills me.

"This is wrong..." She whimpered pleasure consuming her. “You want me just as much as I want you, give in to your desires sweetheart and Ill make you feel so fucking good, that you won't ever want another man to touch you." He whispered huskily making her core throb. That was what she was afraid of, that when he was done with her, she would be left broken… ------ Scarlett Malone was a feisty headstrong young she-wolf, blessed by the moon goddess as the first Alpha Female. Moving to a new town with her mother to start afresh, they were welcomed into a new pack and a new family. Things became complicated when she begins to feel attracted to her smart and cocky stepbrother, the future Alpha of the Blood Moon Pack. Will she be able to overcome the illicit thoughts that consume her mind and awaken a pleasure deep within her? or would she push even her own boundaries and explore the forbidden feelings that burned within her? Elijah Westwood, the most popular boy around, and one every girl wished to have a taste of. A player who didn’t believe in love, nor mates. He was twenty-one and was in no rush to find his fated one, enjoying life as he was, with no shortages of women to bed. What happens when he returns home only to find that he’s begun to see his step-sister in a new light? Knowing that when the mating ceremony came, she would find her mate. Will he fight against everything for her, or would he let her go? Book 1 of The Alpha Series Book 2 - Her Cold-Hearted Alpha Book 3 - Her Destined Alpha Book 4 - Caged Between The Beta & Alpha Book 5 - King Alejandro: The Return Of Her Cold-Hearted Alpha

I Drew Kizmet, Future Alpha of the Crescent Blood Peak Pack here-by reject you Jewel Stuart as my Mate and future Luna of this pack... (He smirked and looked down and me).... I stared directly into his eyes and said.... "I Jewel Stuart of the Crescent Blood Peak Pack here-by accept your rejection... Am I free to go now Drew? I'll be late for Chemistry".... I turn and head to class and I can feel his eyes as well as other students eyes on me as I make my way through the halls and into class... **Jade I know you took the blow of the rejection for me are you okay?...** Yes Jewel I'm fine, just need to rest for a bit..** Okay, thank you for doing that, take your time and rest, I'll check in on you later..**...okay! Later!Jewel was a warrior, the first daughter of Laura and Jaxon Stuart who where 20th generation warriors in their pack. Jewel naturally grew up tough and rough as a fighter which made her a bit of a tom boy but her family loved her and she them.Drew Kizmet the first son and next in line for the Alpha Title of Crescent Blood Peak Pack, His parents Alpha Dustin and Luna Kristen Kizmet are just, fair and strong leaders who intend to pass down their titles once their son finds his mate and go traveling, do things they where unable to do during the years.Lets find out how things play out for Jewel and for Drew.

Lily Collins is what you could consider as a girl with a purpose. By purpose, I mean to avoid trouble and to stay away from a certain blue eyed boy, with the means to torment her. A boy she can't help have undying feelings for...Asher Grey has everything, girls,money, people kissing at his feet so what more could he ask for? Other than the girl he finds pleasure in bullying, a girl he's in love with. At some point he won't be able to hold in his feelings any longer, it'll start to peek out.______________________________"You look like you just got banged!" He teased as he glanced at my state."What, no I don't?" I said, well more like asked uncertainly as I passed my hand through my unruly hair. I felt the disheveled strands as my finger tugged at some knots.Niall chuckled "Your hair is a mess and your shirt is inside out." He pointed out. My hand automatically went to my shirt as I tugged it and looked around at the prying eyes of the other students."Oh shit!" I muttered once I realized that indeed it was inside out. Gosh this is embarrassing. I pulled down my skirt suddenly feeling self conscious and pulled my shirt higher as I saw a little bit of my boobs peeking out."You also have a lot of love bites." He pointed out again louder than needed, making me give him a lethal look. If looks could kill he would have been dead right now. Maybe I can arrange that."Shut up don't point it out!" I hissed. I'm gonna kill Asher.