Stupid Humor Novels & Stories

“If your family is stupid, will you be stupid as well!?” Her family was stupid?

It's embarrassing that he's in a bad mood these days, so he's tired of rice and craving pho. Temporarily just wanting cheap things that anyone can have. I feel really bad for you. If you exercise a lot, you must be tired, right? The one who has to say sorry is you, sorry for not "visiting" me. She emphasized each word as if to poke fun at her. Marilyn heard her speak and immediately turned pale, she stomped her feet and hugged him. “You really know how to joke. Brother Simon is so good, he can't choose anyone.

He made a fool of himself in front of the prettiest woman that he has ever seen in person. Enjoy your stay here? That is the best that he could come up with? That old, tired cliché line? She must thing that he is a complete and total idiot. Hell, at this point he is thinking the same dang thing. He is clearly dumb as a box of rocks. He sees a pretty woman and he blurts out stupidity. Smooth of him. Real smooth. “Hey! Wait a sec!”

She’d have to be careful not to make it too obvious, although most people would probably take it as unbridled animosity. “It’s just a turn of phrase,” I said. “Like saying someone throws like a girl. Doesn’t mean girls can’t throw. Just that most of them look like a spaz when they do it.” “Twaddle!” said Flossie. Somehow everyone was getting the hump with me over nothing. Phil might have been a pro at getting people’s backs up, but I was a born natural. “Hey, let’s all bear in mind I had a difficult childhood and often say stupid things. Think of it as a mental illness, like Tourette’s, but in fully formed sentences.” This didn’t seem to appease them.

I hit her back with the pillow " I am actually trying to not get us into deeper shit ! but of course it's a talk for humans not bunnies." " I'm not a bunny... You little rat." " Shut up... Freaking duck." " Stupid donkey." " Stupid sloth." " Of course, I'm talking like a stupid, how else could you understand me?" " Shut up and don't annoy me ahead, I am in no mood for that." " I'm sorry if you don't like my honesty, but to be fair, I don't want to let you leave in delusions." She said

Life’s so unfair, man. “What does a spoon matter when we’re literally stuck in the middle of the woods with invisible monsters, shady, bad men and whatever else creeps around here? Can you please, for once, use your brain and kick some sense in the gear?” He whisper-hisses, so red in the face, he reminds me of a tomato. “You could join a casting for vegetable commercials looking like this,” I remark and laugh at the brilliant joke my brain just reacted. Shit, am I not the funniest guy out there? Look at me - sense of humor, looks, body and an impressive spoon collection, I have it all, damn it. No wonder my little vixen couldn’t deny me.

He chuckled as if I was the funniest person alive, "You're okay." "I'm alive," I muttered once again, the pure shock is obviously tinted on my voice. He smiled, "And you are repeating what I'm saying." I nodded slowly, "And I'm repeating what you are saying." He nods, "Yes, you are." "Yes, I am." "I'm stupid." He tried tricking me. Not going to work, ass. I scoffed loudly, "Yes, you're stupid." "So you're not in shock, that's good." He nodded to himself as if he just learned something fascinating.

Matthew rolled his eyes. "Don't blame me for you being a fool." I glanced at Matthews. "It's because you were already an idiot, but now you show it." "Idiot is not a disease." Matthew objected. “Stupid is not a disease, but a person who suddenly becomes stupid may already have some disease.” I followed Matthew. "You'd better get checked out, otherwise the disease will become so severe that it won't be curable." I looked proudly at Matthew. Matthew helplessly patted my head. "I'm so out of touch with you."

“Because no normal person pulls shit like that without proper preparation.” I wisely do NOT mention that I’ve nailed that jump about a hundred times — and only messed it up because I was distracted by her devastating existence. “Just let me finish,” I say. “I’m sorry. But I’m also … not sorry. I needed it.” “It was stupid,” she says. Angry. Hurt. Maybe both. “Some very sexy girl once told me men do stupid things,” I add gently. “Comes with the testicles.” She huffs. “It seems the bigger the testicles, the bigger the ego. The more stupid.”

"Stupid! Dense! Fool! Idiot! Dummy! Brainless! Blockhead! Goon! Moron! Retard! Pervert! Molester!" …It succeeded in dealing damage, even to me.