Supernatural Funniest Quotes Novels & Stories

they cheer enthusiastically, throwing me a smile so bright you could see it from space. With a simple push of my fingers, I shut my front door while keeping my attention on my unapproved houseguest. “I’m sorry, is there a big neon sign above my door that says, ‘God Hostel’ and no one told me?” I quip sarcastically. They throw their head back and laugh, “You really are a delight, but what makes you think I’m a God?” they ask slyly. “If it walks like a God and talks like a God, then it’s probably a pain in my ass,” I say indignantly, crossing my arms over my chest.

Leaning back into his arm, Mom grunted, annoyed. “I mean it, Lucifer.” Lucifer’s lip curled. Smoke was oozing from the base of his feet and I swear his face grew ten times darker. “GET OFF MY LAWN!” Hades bellowed. The gigantic crowd scattered, the hellhounds now heerding the supernaturals like sheep. I love sheep; they are so fluffy. I’ve got my own sheep, well, lamb I sleep with every night called Lambert. Snorting, Loki nudged my arm, laughing along with me.

I traced a constellation with a glint in my eyes, “It’s my motto, maybe you should make it yours too” I tilted my head to give him a genuine smile. I saw his wheels turning in his head for a while through his green orbs, then he broke into small chuckles, shaking his head. I blinked my eyes as to why he was laughing. We were talking serious things right before he began chortling. Did I say something funny? “Why’re you laughing?” I asked. He silenced his chuckles to look at me biting his lips preventing any more. “No wonder you were called the ‘Quote Schmuck’” he quoted.

He placed it above his tomb and said, “Grandpa, I made a house for you. Hope you like it.” Kian moved forward next. He pouted as he said, “Great-grandpa Abner, since you left, the house has been a bit boring. Daddy doesn’t know how to tell jokes.” While Riley laughed, Adrian choked on his spew. He claimed, “I can tell jokes.” “Your great-grandpa in heaven?” Adrian said while pointing up. “He is probably up on his old tricks again, playing cupid. I bet half the female angels are pregnant right now.”

Chaos call if you still want to have the chance to have quickie. @RiverC: @S. Chaos little brother this can’t be happening, kill him now :) @Paul: Sending condolence, may @E.L_Hell let you enter hell. @Bryan_cid: RIP, may you enter hell peacefully. @Bloody_me: Guys, Chaos send me a bomb in a box...send help :( I was laughing reading their comments when I suddenly received a reply from Chaos. From: Baby Trouble Don’t laugh, I’m getting jealous. Who are you talking to?

“Sabrina, you have to read the COMMENTS.” He scrolled down and read them aloud, doing voices. “‘Nate Cooper is losing his MIND.’ This one says—oh, wait—’She must be something special if he drove three hours to scream at a gate.’ This one says you’re a WITCH because you’ve got him HEXED.” I laughed. I actually laughed. “This one says Eric Atwood deserves a medal,” Felix went on gleefully. “This one says—oh, hold on—this one says ‘Ma’am, whoever you are, MARRY ME INSTEAD.’”

“Tonight’s for fun. You’ve cried enough for three years in one week. No therapy talk, no shadow work. Just fire, stars, and maybe a little roast—if not of the marshmallow variety, then of your jokes.” Laughter scattered around the circle. “Let’s start easy. The first person to solve this gets the Super Deepest Brain Award,” he announced, dramatically gesturing. “I speak without a mouth and hear without ears. I have nobody, but I come alive with wind. What am I?” Silence. Then a few guesses: “An echo?” someone said. The facilitator clutched his heart. “Yes! Who said that?” A petite woman in a red hoodie lifted her hand. “That was me.”

Time stops, I run out of air, and the universe laughs at me for blindly falling into its embarrassing trap. Sometimes, I wonder if I offended anyone in my past life…maybe I killed a bird or stepped on a puppy. I really don't understand what I did that the universe and its lover slash partner in crime, fate, has decided that my life isn't important enough to be used as anything other than a sick source of entertainment. My life must be the comedy every supernatural being goes to watch in the cinema with their dates. How else would you anyone explain most of the events that take place in my life? Since the mysterious guy found my first statement funny, I could only hope he finds the rest funny

“Never open your mouth, unless you’re in the dentist chair” ~ Sammy “The Bull” Gravano JORDAN POV Some things are just so wrong. From start to finish, the idea of their existence is a simple absurdity. Like the things, my sister was telling me.

Reuben was literally the quarterback of his team. "I know many things...like how you are not using the power of your blood properly." This actually piqued my interest. "You mean I'm more than just a blood bag for the betterment of all supernatural creatures?..." "Tell me more." My sarcasm made her laugh. "You are funny." She tucked her hair behind her ear. I shrugged, rubbed my arms, and chuckled, "I mean when you are not the one being bitten, chased, nearly killed by your friends and family, cut open, haunted in your sleep...yeah it's pretty funny."