Teks Stand Up Comedy Lucu Bikin Ngakak

Everyone in Vallermoore knew I was Cole Mitchell and Finn Archer's most treasured princess. At 12, Cole saved me from my abusive dad's grip and gave me a second shot at life. He vowed to protect me always. At 13, Finn rented out an entire amusement park for my birthday and whispered that guarding my smile was his mission for life. Now I was 23, and they locked me in a pitch-black, freezing attic for three winter days. As I slowly lost consciousness, they were busy fawning over Zoey Hart, their long-lost childhood friend. "Everything you have is mine, so it's time to give it back." After hearing what Zoey said, I left without making a scene or shedding a single tear. However, for years after, they tore the city apart and tried to find me like mad.

The night I find out I'm pregnant, my family's villa suddenly goes up in flames. I endure the suffocating smoke and run the risk of being disfigured as I run to my son's bedroom. However, it's empty. Just then, I hear his excited exclamations outside the window. "Monica, you look so cool when putting out fires! I bet you'll get first place in this upcoming Firefighter Challenge!" I'm about to head downstairs to lecture him when a wall collapses and crushes me. As I drift in and out of consciousness, I hear my stern, stoic husband praise Monica Sloan for her courage. If I'm guessing correctly, my husband and son have started this fire to please her. I stare at the door, which is so close and yet so far. I send out one final text before dying of asphyxiation.

Roseline's stomach turned and her fist clenched tightly around the handle of the big travel box beside her. She heard the clanging sound of the metallic head of Thompson's belt meeting the ground. Next, quite footsteps. Then, Thompson appeared in her view, like a ghost she didn't believe existed. He was completely bare, with his hairy chest rising and falling slowly, his cock shooting out in front like a gun ready to be fired, his balls bloated from desire, swinging from side to side as he walked closer to bed. Roseline's feet stuck to the ground and her eyes refused to blink as they looked on. "That's it, my boy. Hmm! I like what I see", the red hair gasped, rolling her eyes longingly at Thompson. As Thompson climbed unto the bed, his eyes totally locked in hers, she drew her breasts closer him, then, proceeded to rock the big pumpkins against the flushed skin of his face. "You like them?", she asked, moaning lightly. Thompson paused. Then, in a defiant move of uncontrollable desire, dug his chin into her breasts, burying his entire face in them. "Ouch", she gasped, then broke into a weak laugh, pushing his head more into her chest. "The damn bra", she spoke again, twisting uncomfortably as she threw her hands behind her to unhook the material. But Thompson caught her hands. Without words, his head still hidden in her cleavage, he slowly returned her hands to his head. Obliging to his silent command, she cackled loudly, pressing her chest even more into his face and then, with her tongue, glided across his neck and ears hungrily. Roseline froze. She wanted to scream but in that moment, she forgot how to.

Warning: Matured Content 18+ You do not want me to repeat myself, now strip.” She tried to stop me from touching her, but I only end up hitting her in the face because I can no longer control myself. I forcefully rip off her dress and begin to touch her everywhere and damn, she tastes so exquisite. She is so f**king tight, making me slam in forcefully so that she can feel my whole. Who keeps her virginity at this age? I wanted to please her as well, but I can't help but pleasure myself seeing how tight she is, making me slam so hard and harder every time. Once I was done, I order her to get out. She would learn to fear me that way After being sold of to a wealthy ruthless and heartless billionaire, Lila became the shadow of herself as she was constantly humiliated by her so called husband who finds nothing wrong in letting another man on top of his wife. Lila was never loved by her family nor husband. What would happen when her husband let another man taste his wife? What will happen when Lila realized her husbands friend whom she hated just had her?

After a long period of widowhood, finally under the influence of alcohol, Mira spends a hot night with Rendi, the man she chose for her birthday. In the morning, she wakes up and runs away without seeing the face of the man who gave her so much pleasure last night. As time goes by, Mira tries to forget the sensation that keeps lingering in her mind and disturbing her nights with no intention of repeating it again. Tragedy strikes when she finds out that her future in-law is the man who has been making her sigh on her bed all this time. Can Mira and Rendi forget the hot night that happened between them or continue behind their children's backs? Intrigued? Don't forget to read the exclusive sequel only at Goodnovel

"Father, I accept the marriage alliance with the Blackwood Pack." Silence stretched on his end of the link before he finally replied, "Caterina, are you certain?" "I am." I didn't tell him the real reason. Last night, a heart-shattering agony ripped through our Mate Bond, through that damned bond, I saw everything— My mate, Alpha Rocco, was in the cabin on his private hunting grounds, pinning his childhood sweetheart, Scarlett, against the wall and kissing her with a desperate frenzy. I confronted Scarlett directly at the pack meeting, a flicker of triumph flashed in her eyes before she feigned innocence. "Caterina, I have no idea what you're talking about." Just then, Rocco's voice boomed through the open mind-link, echoing in the minds of everyone present. "Caterina, as the Luna of the pack, you shouldn’t cause a scene like this. Scarlett is just a friend. " In that moment, my heart died completely. He was my Alpha, my husband—the man I had spent years helping rise to power. I severed my mind-link with Rocco. The pain of the forced disconnection was so intense I could barely stand, but I straightened my spine and sent my reply. "I'll be home in two weeks." Go home and marry the most powerful Alpha in North America. They say he is cold and ruthless, unmoved by any she-wolf. Perfect. I don't need love. I just need an Alpha strong enough to help me secure the Silver Moon Pack. And as for Rocco? The Moon Goddess gave us a destiny, and he shattered it with his own hands. Now, I will seize my own.

My bride went missing on the night of our big day but woke up in my brother's room the next day. My parents persuaded me to ignore it for the sake of fame but scolded my wife as an easy girl. Angrily, I moved out of the villa with my wife. Soon after, my wife had a miscarriage and suffered from depression due to gossip. She jumped off from the top floor in front of me. Desperately, I followed her. Opening my eyes again, I found myself back to the time when the wedding ended.

Nadia Wilde, the once docile daughter of a wealthy and famous pastor who is loved by the public, has her life turned upside down when she’s sent to prevent her hidden and rebellious step sister from showing up at a one-night stand that could jeopardize her father’s reputation. But in the process, Nadia ends up on the hotel bed instead of Ava and is unable to stop what happens next because, deep down, she’s never been the good girl everyone has always adored. Six years later, Russell Lane, a young CEO whose automobile company is taking over the industry, develops the need for a contract wife, and Nadia, the perfect candidate, falls prey to his trap. With only flaming eyes to remember each other since that fateful day, Nadia recollects who he is, and Russell can’t seem to take his mind off the mysteriously familiar woman. Oblivious to the fact that he’s the father of Nadia’s twins, Russell wants her as his contract wife, and he plans to get her by any means, regardless of what she wants. Can Nadia keep up with a powerful family that tramples down on the likes of her and use this god-given opportunity to climb back up the social ladder? Will Russell be able to overcome the obstacles and keep his company away from the hands of his overambitious brothers and sisters? Most importantly… Will Nadia and Russell make what started as an accidental one-night stand thrive into something much more real, or will their contract marriage, along with everything else, end just as it was supposed to?

SOLD TO THE ALPHA FOR A ONE NIGHT STAND When he stepped into view, all my breath left me in one sharp gasp. His presence filled the room, an overwhelming force that took my breath away. He stood tall and confident, his black hair styled back, a few stray strands falling over his forehead, giving him a wild edge. His jaw was strong, a neatly trimmed beard only accentuating his chiseled features. He was devastatingly handsome, but it wasn’t just his looks that affected me, it was the aura around him, the power that radiated from every inch of his body. His eyes locked with mine, and an overwhelming sense of power washed over me. My heart pounded in my chest, racing like I had no control over it. This man wasn’t just anyone. There was something primal in his gaze, something dangerous and alluring. Something...otherworldly.

"Gold digger, home wrecker, slut and whore." Those were words Mikayla was subjected to hearing during her childhood and they scarred her forever. Mikayla is determined to never put herself in a position where she'd be called such ever again, which is why she is determined to never love a specific type of man; rich, handsome billionaires. Now a respectable doctor living a peaceful life, Mikayla is not going to let anything rock the boat and disturb the calm of her life, not even the handsome billionaire CEO who has set his sights on her. But Cael is not ready to let the strangely seductive woman out of his grasp after the one night they spent together. He is determined to claim her as his own, to mark her as his forever. Will he succeed in winning her elusive heart? Find out in Mikayla's Mistake.