Uncontrollable Bad Thoughts About God Novels & Stories

I started questioning if it's still worth living despite all the bullshit that has been happening in my life. "Fuck!" I exclaimed harshly while shaking my head, mentally throwing away the negative thoughts I was having. But it wasn't easy. It was never easy. Once those negative thoughts came inside my head, they would then start to fester and would be hard to ignore. And that was what was happening to me now. No matter how much I shook my head, and no matter how many times I told myself to not listen to any of it, I couldn’t. Until I couldn’t take it anymore and frustration started to take over me.

My acrylic nail taps restlessly against my thumb while frustration coils tighter in my chest. "I know I probably overdo it sometimes. I just..." I exhale hard, shaking my head. "Once I start overthinking, it's like my brain won't let shit go. One bad thought turns into twenty more, and suddenly I'm acting insane over stuff that might not even be true." The confession lingers awkwardly between us. God. I hate sounding vulnerable. Makes my skin itch. Makes me wanna immediately say something funny or shake my ass on a countertop to restore balance to the universe.

I felt disgusted at the thought of being molested by this horrendous man. All the bad and negative thoughts making a fuss in my head. The thought of me getting pregnant. The thought of getting raped and my life basically getting spoiled in advance to this situation. I could imagine how dark and useless my life would become after this incident. All these thoughts made me pool out my eyes even more. I wanted to peel off my skin knowing how this man was about to leave an unwanted imprint over me.

Only I don’t think she realized just the way I depended upon her. My mind was my own worst enemy at times. Battling against itself as it created completely unreasonable and unbelievable scenarios that would take over my thoughts. Day and night. Those thoughts would become enough to run away with themselves. They gained a mind of their own and could take over. They became too much for me. These thoughts were repetitive. Painful. And had a habit of coming to my mind with little to now help. Little to no prompting. It was enough to near break a man. It was feeling trapped in your own mind. Not being able to escape your own thoughts. Because no matter what you did to escape them... to distract y

he vows, his body radiating violent promise. I tap down the dominance itching to take over and put him in his place, keeping my thoughts on Orenda and the baby to keep myself…civil. Or as close to it as I can get. “I’m not trying to fuel anything. I just know there is no other being who can shield someone or something from a God except another God,” I clarify with measured words. I had no idea being mindful of your words was this fucking exhausting.

He was like a block of ice, cold from inside out. I wiped away Brandon’s thought and dragged my mind into something positive, I postured straight on the bed; thinking about enough possibilities of what could happen all day, those detrimental thoughts were ruling my mind and I couldn’t waive them off no matter how badly I wanted to, it was tormenting to my mind but I was addicted to suffering.

I shot back my voice a bit taut with all the emotional screams that were lodged in my throat , Jacob looked up staring at me with a confused and lost expression , the one that squeezed my heart painfully " Maybe its you who is being self obsessed with the pain that's locked in your heart , maybe you believe that you deserve the painful reminder of whatever that's eating you up . Instead of letting go , you want to keep holding on to it because you are afraid that it will open up the Pandora's box and make things get outta your control , you don't like when things get out of your control. You fear the change , Jacob . You fear what's in store for you if you let go of things and let the univer

“Bless me, Father, for I have sinned.” A pause. His voice, low, calm. “Go on, my child.” My heart thudded. My palms were sweaty. “I’ve been… struggling.” My voice cracked. “With thoughts.” “Thoughts?” he repeated, steady. “Yes. Lustful thoughts.” Silence. I squeezed my eyes shut. “I—I touched myself. Last night. And before. I know it’s wrong. I know it’s a sin. But I couldn’t stop. I wanted to. I swear I tried to pray it away. I fasted. I begged God to take it from me. But it keeps coming back.”

I hated her for ruining the mood. I didn’t know how long I just lay there on the grass smoldering and cursing the sky, but after a while I got up thinking I needed a stiff drink. I barely noticed the infernal buzz in my ears was back. {Oh what is there to tell, Sol? How can you ever understand? That there’s no rhyme or reason to anything. I don’t know about Einstein and scientific determinism but the Big Man Upstairs? Not only does He play dice with the universe but He uses humans as collateral. When a mother abandons her own child in front of a children’s home or when a random shooter kills a dozen people, that’s God at play. There’s no difference between living and dying because neither ma

"Exactly! Every child should be granted an opportunity to both survive and express himself or herself but it doesn't work that way in this modern world. Shit happens, sir." The woman knew Blackwheel wouldn't understand her but she couldn't stop trying. "I agree with you that terrible things happen in this world and it can't be stopped because humans are greedy and selfish," Blackwheel said. "Human tragedy on a daily basis is one of the major reasons why I find it hard to believe in God because if he exists, he would try to do something about the chaos that we see every day. If he loves us as the Bible claim he does and if he has the power to change our situation, why hasn't he? If he has the