Voldemort Funny Novels & Stories

Velda smirked, pulling up a gallery of photos on her phone and shoving it in his face. "Look at those abs. Look at that smile. Tell me he's not worth every cent." Mortimer stared at the screen. His face went through three different shades of dark before settling on a lethal shade of grey. "The 'puppy'... is a man?" "Well, yeah. I'm not exactly into girls, Morty," she shrugged, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Then, she caught his expression. She froze, realized what he'd been thinking, and exploded into a fit of jagged, hysterical laughter.

“But also… the way the characters chose each other, over and over.” Something about the way he says it makes my chest tighten. I’m mid-scoop of ice cream when he suddenly says, “Knock, knock.” I blink. “Oh no.” “Knock, knock.” “Who’s there?” “Vamp.” “…Vamp who?” “Vamp-ire believe how good this date is going?” I burst out laughing. Real, unfiltered laughter that has me clutching my stomach and nearly spilling my ice cream. “Oh my God,” I wheeze. “That was terrible.”

Vladimir screamed bloody murder. ***

I blinked at her, completely thrown off. “That you and..ugh…I can’t even say his name,” she said, making a face. Then she shook me like I’d lost my mind. “What is wrong with you?!” “What did I do?” I tried to push her hands off, confused and a little scared. “Why are you dating he-who-must-not-be-named?” “Voldemort?” I said without thinking. She pinched my cheek, hard. “This is not the time for jokes, nerd. Do you want to die or something?”

Again the parts of a song… I’m leaving on a jet plane I don’t know when I will be back again Oh babe I hate you go... Mrs. Hillary, who is included in the ranks of killer teachers, is not only fierce but also famous and sadistic. If Mrs. Anna math teacher is Voldemort. So Mrs. Hillary is Professor Snape in the famous School of Witchcraft and wizardry book series, because of the sadism. When a student is do something wrong, it's over. It happened one day that almost all the kid of 11-7 were expelled from class for not doing homework. The remaining 11-7 residents are only a few people like Alfred and several children who are classified as diligent in doing homework. Smart children are not nece

I said, and he just laughed at me and waved his hand in front of him. "Go on. Just keep asking," he said, and just kept on eating some fries. "How old are you? They said vampires don't age. Is that true?" I asked him, and he laughed so hard, which caught other customers' attention. "Hahaha! What do you think of me? A hundred years old man? Just like in the books? Hahaha, of course, we're aging too, but just not as fast as humans do, and our souls it doesn't die that easily," he explained while wiping some tears of laughter from his eyes.

His eyebrows jumped up. “Holy sh–” “Don’t swear.” “Who the f–” “Don’t swear,” “Who the HELL sent you this!” Ms. Evans shot them a look. Lucas smiled at her. “Ms. Evans we were discussing about the depth of Neville Longbottom’s courage when he told Voldemort that he’d join them when HELL freezes over.” Ms. Evans’ eyes lit up. “Yes, of course! Neville Longbottom is an exemplary–” Zehra shook her head at Lucas, smiling.

the time". Fuck, I hate myself...I don't want to talk about this shit! I want to talk about how cows moo and all that fucking shit. I wanted ice cream but the doctor said I wasn't allowed to eat it. How did Dumbledor even grow that long ass beard that's as long as the Mississippi river? Why is there such song as "What does the Fox say?" when obviously, the fox says "meow"?" I cry. Maddox laughs, "What's so funny? Do I look like a clown to you? I'm fucking crying and all you're doing is being an ungrateful husband to me!"

The net knows everything right? 'Vampires are one of the species with super fast reflexes and are able to freeze places, disappear and appear, and do a lot of magic tricks like witches' Oh no! Raven is a Vampire! I closed my laptop nervously, promising myself not to enter the room again... I'm not dramatic. . . .

“You know who I’m talking about even though I can’t say his name,” I laughed, already knowing who she was talking about. “Like Voldemort in Harry Porter,” “Like Voldemort,” She responded. I left the reception after having a good laugh at the new nickname Rose had formed for Lucas and I can’t help but wonder if he was still like that. Dark, evil, and manipulative just like high school. I gathered some of the files that bitchy Charlotte had left on my desk and placed them on the low-rise shelf that was in the corner of the office room, leaving one on the table to go through.