Novel & Cerita What Is This Feeling So Sudden And New

Kaiden sat across from me, his gaze unwavering. “Now, tell me everything,” he said. “What do you mean by a sense of newness?” I hesitated, trying to put my feelings into words. “It’s hard to explain,” I began. “When I was in the infirmary, it felt like something inside me woke up. Like… a part of me that had been dormant all my life finally came alive.” Kaiden listened intently, his brows furrowed in thought. “I felt whole,” I continued. “Stronger, clearer. The pain just… disappeared. And now, I feel like I’m more myself than I’ve ever been.”

The feeling of safety and home seeps into me, and for the first time since yesterday morning, I feel settled and begin to relax. But then something else slams into me so suddenly it almost steals my breath. Relief crashes through my chest, fierce and overwhelming, so powerful it feels almost painful. Like gasping for air after being held underwater too long. My brow furrows. That isn’t mine. Is it? It’s so strong, and I was just feeling relaxed.

My mind was a storm of its own. My body had felt different for days. A fullness. A strange, internal shifting. I had blamed the stress, the terrible food, the endless fear. But this new feeling was not fear. It was a faint, fluttering tap deep inside me. Like a tiny moth beating its wings against a windowpane. It came and went, so soft I thought I imagined it. Then, in the grey hour before dawn, it came again. Stronger. A distinct, undeniable pop. A ripple of motion from a place where only stillness had been.

Why… why don’t I know? When I feel at ease just being near her. When my mood shifts because of her, it is a good kind of shift. When I worry too much about her. When I want to see her face. When I want to kiss her so badly. When I hate seeing her with another man. When… my heart beats so damn fast because of her. These feelings are new to me. I’ve never felt anything like this before. I’ve never experienced something like this, and it’s confusing the hell out of me.

His nonchalance in the face of this impossible moment makes everything feel surreal, dreamlike. I move forward mechanically, barely aware of my feet carrying me into the office. The click of the door closing behind us echoes in my ears, impossibly loud. And then, like a dam breaking, everything crashes down on me at once. For the first time in what feels like an eternity, I feel. Not the muted, distant emotions I’ve been swimming through, but raw, overwhelming feelings.

He still was my favorite cousin and he deserved some praise once in a while. My body felt unusually restless and energized. My heart thumped against my chest unusually and my breathing became more and more labored. It felt like I was suffocating. It was a good feeling and It seemed very unlike me. What was happening to me? I didn't realize my sudden bursts of positive energy around me until I reached Ravenna's room door. Right there, I told myself I had to restrain myself. Ravenna was still a stranger to me and I have to take things slow.

As I said, I am not ready to be owned by someone. My insides were fluttering. I know it was because of him. This feeling scares the hell out of me. I haven't felt something like this before. There's this little ball of joy inside me that ignites when he comes closer to me. I'm not going to admit it to be the 'Love' that they were talking about. Scratch it! I know, I haven't fallen in love with anyone else and I don't know how it feels either. But this one, it's too fast and I had to control it.

“Goddess… I hate you.” The hatred drips from every word, but the moment I say it, something twists low in my stomach. I freeze. A sudden wave rolls through my lower belly, stealing the breath from my lungs. A soft sound escapes me before I can stop it. My knees weaken as warmth spreads through me like fire catching dry grass. It is unlike anything I have ever felt. My body tightens, pulses, aches with a need I do not understand. Every nerve feels awake. Every breath comes faster than the last.

I quickly rush out of the room, my breathing heavy as I internally cursed at myself. What was I thinking? I can't just enter any room like that! I placed a hand over my heart, trying to calm down the fast beating. The door behind me was cold and I leaned my back against it, knowing I didn't see anything. I couldn't seem to move my body. I was frozen and I stayed in my spot for what felt like hours but then the door opened and I stumbled forward, almost hitting the floor but someone wrapped their arms around my waist, catching me.

“ Yeah me too, there’s none with happy ending and the lovers, I mean none of them ended up together.” “I don’t really know how it happened” “What?” Lex asked. Oh, I didn’t even realise I was audible. I found myself smiling at the thought of how silly I’m starting to act. Is this how being Inlove feels like.? Nothing seems to matter again to you, the world all of a sudden is full out of colour, imaginary ones. I’m not sure I have the right words to explain how I’m feeling now. These feelings, they’re new to me and I’m not done understanding em, it’s all like a rush of so many emotions.