Novel & Cerita When Life Sucks

Beer never felt so good then today. It could be because of what I've been through for the past week. It sucks, and it's horrible. A package deal for nightmares. I could ask for a day off from it, and it would be too tempting, and I could just keep giving up the next day. If only I could... I would fall off a 150-story building rather than live another minute of this shitty life.

My voice sounded unnecessarily soft. “I miss home.” Life is a cruel thing. Unfair and most of all, it's never satisfying enough. Not for a long time. But why so? We have different expectations. Different ideas of happiness. My idea of perfection will be different than your idea. Someone craves to live the life of another person. While the exact same person idealises another person's life. This is not tragic. This is life. Unplanned, unexpected.

I can’t stand what’s happening right now. Life just seems…bleak. As depressing as that sounds, it’s the truth. I don’t see the point of going on anymore. I’ve lost it completely. I’ve ruined my life. That’s what I’m starting to realize. Or maybe my life has always been ruined and I only realized it now.

I said. My face was pale as death, and a nagging ache twisted in my stomach. It was an old pain that had been with me ever since I spent those three years in that cellar. Every day, I ate stale bread and lumpy mashed potatoes that had been sitting out forever. The bread was so thick and dry that it was almost impossible to swallow. Panic flashed across Henry's face. It was something I hadn't seen in ages. "Sabrina, I swear I didn't know! Do you think I'm lying?" he asked.

The sudden feeling of loneliness creeps up and embraces me from within, and in an instance, I was in an overwhelming state of crumbling yet again. "Fuck life," I say again, slumping to the ground like a ragged doll who has yet to be born. When will this nightmare end?

It comes out slightly hysterical. I'm texting my soon-to-be-ex-husband about dinner while processing that I might die at any moment from a disease I can't control. The absurdity is almost beautiful.

"Why!?? Why are you always snatching everything from me? Am I that bad? I know I am a monster but circumstances make me like that!! Why always me? Why I have to go to through the emotional pains always? I have just left alone my daughter, my son, and the woman I have ever loved! All the years I was living with a hope to be with my love. But when I found them, they rejected me. Now, you tell me for whose sake I should live!!," Anirudh said with too much hurt in his voice. A lone tear escaped from his eyes. After so many years he has cried. He is sitting in front of God like a motionless person.

"Kill the Freak! Kill the Freak!" Hell, I'm stuck in a nightmare! Isn't enough that I have to let the only girl who (by some misunderstanding) had high hopes in me down? This's just torture! Why haven't I kill myself all this time before I end up like this. Oh God, where are you? Why do I have to be the loser every time this shitty life involves me? "Kill the Freak! Kill the Freak!" "Kill the Freak! Kill the Freak!" "Ahh, look! He's closing his ears!" glasses-dude jerks out a lough.

So, back to reality. January 5th 2035, I used to like beginnings, meeting new people, trying new things but not anymore. I'm just sick and tired of my pathetic life. I've befriended death so many times but he just keeps rejecting me. Life hasn't been kind either so I don't know, I'm just living in my own world hanging between life and death waiting patiently for one to just embrace me and be good to me. Oh well, seems like that's not gonna happen anytime soon.

“People kinda suck.” She laughs. “Oh, totally. Other than my mom and my aunt Louisa, I've never heard of another grown-up admit that, though…at least, not in front of me. They always act like I'm being dramatic or something, but people really do suck. I mean, look at the world today.” I flick on my turn signal, slowing at a crossroads. “It's definitely not an easy place to live anymore, but you shouldn't be cynical like me. Every once in a while, people can surprise you.”