Why Do I Even Bother Novels & Stories

My mind has a way of tuning thing it sees as unnecessary. “Did the individual that gave you this information also tell you all what this said people did?” I sound bored. Uninterested. That is also how I feel. Nothing tends to interest me anymore. Not like there was ever a time that I found interest in anything that does not pertain to my girl. That is the exact reason why I am beginning to get pissed that these people are unconsciously keeping me from going to her. And I just know that something is not right.

I stepped and passed by him. I held my self to not stick my nose on other people's business. I mean, dang, I'm so bored to death. Boredness was a strong aspect that could make people crazy and do things they usually don't do. For example, following this boy around and be noisy in his life. So like a mantra, I spoke to myself, I wouldn't ask, I wouldn't ask. I stepped a couple of stairs, passed by him when I suddenly stopped. Realization dawned upon me.

As much as I did not want to do it I just couldn't help but worry. “Why am I always like this?” I asked myself, because I hate the fact that I'm bothered about someone that doesn't even care about me. I'm here thinking of how to make sure that she gets better but she might be there thinking badly about me. She has betrayed me several times but I have refused to stop being stupid. “Shirley, you won't do it.” I tried convincing myself one last time before heading back to the bed where I kept my food. There is something here that is supposed to make me feel better and I have decided to stop myself worrying about people that don't even matter to me.

Why does that bother you? It shouldn’t. It really, really shouldn’t. I exhaled slowly, leaning back in my chair as I pressed my fingers against my temple. “Focus,” I whispered to myself. “You have bigger problems.” This is a second chance I couldn’t afford to waste. But still, I glanced toward the door again. “…he’s actually going to do it,” I muttered under my breath, irritation creeping back in despite everything. Then I shook my head quickly, pushing the thought away as I stood up and began clearing the table, trying to drown myself in something else.

Safe. I’m technically in control of my life, but it feels more like I’m performing a carefully rehearsed play. I can only adjust the speed, but the direction remains fixed—there’s no changing course or turning back. With a sigh, I try to reason with my own frustration, knowing that overthinking will only make me more miserable. I push back the covers, getting out of bed slowly to avoid waking Tatiana. Maybe a cup of tea and a snack will help clear my mind.

I feel tired, I feel weak. But... I wonder why I don't want to give in? Why do I still want to keep trying? I am acting so stupid, foolish, stubborn. This is the easy way out for me yet... I still want to... I want to... I want to keep trying. Again and again and again and again and again...

The toy . . With boredom eating at my soul, Jessie out planning an event, and Eliana busy with her store, I felt so useless. Life felt meaningless. After my morning routine, I crashed back on the bed. I picked up my phone and checked the message; it still hadn’t doubled. I sighed and tossed the phone back on the bed.

Minding their business and not caring about anything else besides their classes or other personal issues. I’m going to be overworked in the next few months, but it’s money I need to survive. Dropping to my knees, I tried to think of the positives. I was always a hard worker, losing sleep, maintaining my grades, and earning cash wouldn’t kill me. Hopefully. I mean, who really knows how things might turn out? I could suffer from burnout and die. Where did that thought come from? I huff, blowing out a breath and searching my bag for something to keep me entertained while I waste away. All I could find was an empty notebook and an untouched pen. What the fuck did I pack this morning?

“Try this.” I lean forward, my eyes latching to the screen. It looks like… a dating app. “A dating app?” She nods wildly. “Seriously? I'm not doing that.” “Why not?” She gives me an exasperated look. “See, you need to distract yourself. You've been too focused on everything except what matters. That you need to live your life, get your mind off some situations, and do it fast. I fear you might lose yourself over boss by the time this ends.”

How could anyone ignore 'me' this much? “Do you realize you’re bothering me? If you don’t like being ignored then it’s not my problem. Stop pestering me if you don’t want to be ignored because sitting with you is so frustrating and your voice is giving me a terrible headache, you’re bothering me.” Her tone was churlish but for some reasons, I considered it very sexy.