Why Do I Even Bother Novels & Stories

It’s a distraction, but one I welcome because I don’t want to face the question that’s been haunting me. What the hell do I do now?

I just sat home and read a book, shared a picture or two, and made people wish they were me for a bit. I was getting bored. What was taking him so long? It was probably someone's case he was working on. I constantly had to remind myself that this was official, and I wasn't the only person in the world with something worth investigating. People had way worse problems. I tapped my empty glass and hummed to one of the songs on my playlist.

“Try this.” I lean forward, my eyes latching to the screen. It looks like… a dating app. “A dating app?” She nods wildly. “Seriously? I'm not doing that.” “Why not?” She gives me an exasperated look. “See, you need to distract yourself. You've been too focused on everything except what matters. That you need to live your life, get your mind off some situations, and do it fast. I fear you might lose yourself over boss by the time this ends.”

How could anyone ignore 'me' this much? “Do you realize you’re bothering me? If you don’t like being ignored then it’s not my problem. Stop pestering me if you don’t want to be ignored because sitting with you is so frustrating and your voice is giving me a terrible headache, you’re bothering me.” Her tone was churlish but for some reasons, I considered it very sexy.

I dоn’t need іѕ tо ѕреnd аnоthеr mоmеnt оf energy оn ѕоmеоnе whо won’t treat me wеll, but I саn’t hеlр mуѕеlf. Agаіn, I wоndеr аbоut оbѕеѕѕіоn, and whу thе tеntасlеѕ rеасh іntо every аѕресt of my lіfе.

You don't know what you're asking for. [ If you badly need to talk to someone, you can reach out to me anytime. I'll listen. ] I send the message as my legs stay restless on the covers, my heartbeat loud and quite erratic. I'm not sure why my brain is impulsively making me say these things. Right now, they feel right and comforting. [ Appreciate it. But I still don't want to burden you with my shitty problems. ]

My phone buzzes with messages, emails, reminders,but I ignore them all. I need to think. I need to figure out who the hell I can actually trust. Because suddenly, it doesn’t feel like that list includes anyone.

Must be nice to be so passionate and determined about your task that you don’t care about the outside world. I ponder my career and the fact that I don’t have a specific passion or niche. One that I'm so into that nothing else matters. At this point in my life, I’m in survival mode every day - at home, at work. I don’t have the time or energy for anything else. “What’s got you so worried?” A smooth voice interrupts my thoughts. Maybe it’s the lack of sleep but man, I’ve been blanking out all day. I can feel the heat on my cheeks, in the humiliation of being caught unaware again or because of the intense attention directed my way.

"Listen, neither do I want your breakfast nor your tv! Will you just tell me what you wanted to talk about?" He smirked and started to leave "give me a few minutes Miss Brook. It's just a call." He said. That asshole! I roamed from this channel to that. But I didn't find anything worth watching. Sometimes forgetting your responsibilities or problems might make you feel relaxed. But they are still there. You can't run from them. Today I had no interviews. But tomorrow I have three.

Why… why do I feel like something is not right? Hah… but no matter what it was. Whether you are really alive or not… I don't fucking care. I can just finish the business I failed to do so…