Why Do I Even Bother Novels & Stories

I'm rusty in that world of normal people who know how to have fun, unlike me, who's committed to my work and my bed day and night. Maybe it's time to go out and leave everything behind for a moment. It could also serve as a distraction to finally stop tormenting myself with thoughts that do me no good, as I'm constantly thinking about him and how much I miss him.

I said wanting to get Eve and her male friends off my mind. Just what is wrong with me anyways? Why am I bothered about Eve anyways?.

j e a n I am bored. I can't focus on my shifts. I just want the day to be over. For some reason, I can't wait to go home. Am I being lazy these days? It's not really me to be like this. Ever since my birthday, which was two days ago, I have been feeling like this. It's weird. I should not get used to feeling like this. Having these habits, and I'll have my dreams fall down in front of my face in a snap. Laziness and procrastination is not an option here in medical school.

“Why?” “Because I keep thinking… what can we even do? It’s not like we can fight the whole media. They’re everywhere. There’s always another blog, another page, another headline. Even if one stops, ten more pop up.” He sighed. Not frustrated. Just tired. “I know.” “So what, we just wait until people forget?” “People don’t forget,” he said. “They just get distracted.” “That’s not comforting.” “I didn’t say it was.” I leaned back slightly so I could look at him properly. Really look at him. Not the version from the headlines. Not the man from the company. Just him.

“What do you want me to do? Accept it and travel to the USA to watch kids compete? Did you even read that mail?” “I did. Firstly, traveling isn't the problem. They probably sent this mail to you because live in the USA. Secondly, it's not a bad idea. Remember, we are trying to move on, do things we have not done before and spend time doing other things so that we can fix ourselves. Trust me, it's not as boring as it seems. I watch these shows sometimes and it can be interesting watching little kids challenge themselves in a subject like mathematics.” “It can be interesting, but I'm not interested.”

I have the distinct impression that I have returned to my youth, when I was always in need of my parents’ guidance. The world seems to have no purpose for me... I feel completely worthless. With an over growing population in the world, why I was chosen to be in this position? Why do I need to be picked among these billions of people? Why not them? The last thing I want to happen to me is to get unwell, but I consented in the end. I always exercise in the morning, digest the right nutrients, and maintain a healthy diet to ensure my immunity against sickness.

How could you even think of that? If he does it to me, why shouldn’t I try same? If I even gather the guts in the first place.′

I responded. “But why would someone do that? I mean, no one was harmed, so what was the point? If anything, it just brought your focus to all this shit. Why would someone want to do that if they aim to get you in shit?” I ran my fingers through my hair and then walked over to grab a drink from the bar. I needed something fucking strong. “Because someone wants me to find them,” I hissed. It felt like the fucking veins in my brain would pop at any moment. “Or wants to distract me from something bigger.”

Damn it! “Damn. Enough of this drama. My mom wouldn’t like it if she learned that I am easily affected by what am I thinking. A weak me both physically and mentally would be the end of all of these,” I reminded myself, trying to cheer up even though the doubt inside me was still there.

Everything's going to turn out okay. Just come with me later and eat some goddamn pancakes. Have you felt being in a situation that you seem you know what to do at first, but in the end you have no answers anymore when you fail. It's irritating. You kind of get that feeling you wanna kick the bucket so viciously for being too mindless in the beginning. Why do we even go through that kind of thing? I hope we can find out what really happens when you decide its complete thought, and not just its possibilities.