Yo Mama So Old Jokes

Dahil lang kumain ako ng isa pang extra na paa ng manok kaysa sa kapatid kong lalaki, pinalayas ako ng tatay ko mula sa bahay sa gitna ng isang snowstorm. Noong tumagal, ang tatay ko na isang archeologist ay nahukay ang aking katawan. Dahil sa nawawalang ulo ko, hindi niya ako nakilala. Kahit na noong nakita niya ang katawan ay may parehong mga peklat na meron ako, wala siyang pakialam. Pagkatapos, ang nanay ko ay kinuha ang aking puso at pinakita ito sa kanyang mga estudyante. “Ngayong araw, pag aralan natin ang puso ng isang taong may congenital heart disease.” Minsan niyang sinabi na makikilala niya ako kahit na anuman ang itsura ko. Mama, ngayon at ang tanging natitira sa akin ay ang puso ko, nakikilala niyo pa rin ba ako?

In a realm of criminal activities and allegiance, 20-year-old Sofia Rosario is ensnared in a last-ditch effort to protect her family. Sofia is compelled to marry Mark Carvajal, the fierce Underboss of the Hernandez crime syndicate, and must maneuver through the dangerous world of mafia power struggles and hidden family truths. While forming a relationship with Mark, she uncovers a tangled network of deceit, allegiance, and suppressed emotions. Will their love save them, or will it bring about their downfall? Immerse yourself in this gripping, heartfelt mafia love story to discover the truth.

Arman, 33 tahun, seorang manajer di perusahaan meubel harus lembur untuk mendapatkan uang lebih karena merencanakan liburan akhir bulan. Tapi belum waktunya pulang dari Kantor, Asha (7 tahun) menelepon nya dan mengatakan bahwa Siska (30 tahun) , ibunya menjadi setan. Arman pun tidak jadi lembur dan memilih untuk pulang ke rumah nya. Apa yang sebenarnya terjadi kemudian adalah terungkapnya sebuah rahasia dan kejahatan yang sudah dilakukan oleh Siska, sang istri.

"You are here as our breeder. My husband will sleep with you until you become pregnant, and after you give birth, the baby will be ours," Her heart sinks into her stomach as she watches the woman that bought her moments ago, says to her. Here she was, thinking she was going to be working as their maid, but she was mistaking. She was only brought here to be their breeder. "I don't want to," As much as she wants to refuse, she knows that she has no choice at this point. These people already bought her, and she's now their property. "Now, sign the contract," With a deep frown settling on the woman's face, she pushes the paper to her to sign...

"Adek ingat ya, kalau ada Bunda jangan panggil Mama Megan. Nanti kalau Bunda gak ada, baru panggil Mama. Oke?!" ucap Megan, pembantu baruku. Kulihat Amira putriku langsung mengangguk dan mereka menyilangkan jari kelingking seperti begitu akrab, membuat janji. Dadaku membuncah pecah. "Apa maksudmu bicara begitu pada putriku, Megan?!" teriakku tanpa basa basi. *** Safira sangat murka saat mendengar putrinya memanggil pembantunya dengan panggilan Mama. Ia curiga, hal ini berkait dengan hubungan suaminya dengan pembantu muda itu. Bagaimana kehidupan Safira setelah mengetahui bahwa ternyata pembantu itu tidak hanya sebagai pembantu tapi ternyata istri rahasia suaminya?

"Mommy, you have to be the first person to come pick me up, okay?" These are my daughter Dorothy Grant's final words to me when she walked me out of the house this morning. But when I stand at the kindergarten's entrance with a box of Dorothy's favorite strawberry shortcake in my hands, the security guard just stares at me as though I lost my mind. "Ma'am, this place might be where Sunflower Kindergarten is located, but it has already closed its doors for three years. This place is now a retirement home." I rush into the "kindergarten" instantly. The spot where the slide used to be is now replaced by a row of flowerbeds. The room that used to be the classroom now hosts a bunch of elderly people, who bask in the sunlight. With trembling hands, I call my husband, Chester Grant, on the phone. He sounds very exasperated and exhausted over the phone. "Honey, we've been married for five years, and we choose to be childless. You've never given birth before."

Love? No, rather a game of convenience. Sophia Whyte is the victim of a cruel hoax, forced into becoming the contract wife of famous billionaire, Noah Milton. She can’t escape, overwhelmed by her crippling debt and her mother’s debilitating condition. After being bullied by Noah’s girlfriend and entire family, she is humiliated and kicked out of the Milton mansion as they no longer have use for her. Five years later, she returns, now a mother of the sole heirs to the Milton wealth. All she feels is hate and a need for revenge. All Noah feels is love, he starts to creep into her heart, one gift at a time. What will she do once she start to feel the same?

I'm finally pregnant after five years of marriage. I initially want Morgan Holt to accompany me to the hospital so I can surprise him, but he stoically tells me that he hates hospitals. I can understand and accommodate that. Then, he surprises me—he accompanies his new junior to the hospital for a medical checkup. At that moment, I know our relationship is over. When I bid him farewell, I say, "She's your true love's younger sister, right? I can understand why you've transferred your love to her. I wish you two well." His eyes redden. "I can't live without you."

By my third month on the job, I discovered that my coworkers had been calling me "the old crow" behind my back. The nickname came from none other than Jace's condescending secretary—because at 32, I was still clutching onto an eight-year relationship that hadn't ended in marriage. I confronted Jace. "Do you know your employees have been calling me the old crow?" He didn't even bother to look up. "That's just Sadie—she speaks her mind and means no harm. You're 32; why get so worked up over what a young girl says?" Then he gave me a faint, mocking smile. "Though honestly, it's a pretty fitting nickname." It felt like a cold hand had wrapped around my heart. So that was it—eight years of my youth, nothing more than a joke to him. I turned and walked away, handed in my resignation, and blocked every way he could reach me. But for the first time, the man who had always seemed so calm and untouchable finally panicked. "Elara," he pleaded, "please come back."

Aku tidak tahu cinta jenis apa ini. Apakah ini hanya sekadar nafsu atau benar-benar murni dari relung jiwaku? Aku tidak tahu. Satu yang aku tahu, dia memiliki begitu banyak kekurangan. Tapi, entah bagaimana, aku masih saja begitu menyukainya, begitu terikat padanya. Mama, apakah aku akan baik-baik saja dengan dirinya? Mama, I'm In Love With A Criminal...