Yo Mama So Old Jokes

"อื้อออ ซี๊ดด กระแทกแรงๆ เลยค่ะที่รัก อ๊ะ อ๊ะ" ปัง! "แอล!" "เฮ๊ย! เข้ามาทำไมวะ" "ยังกล้าถามอีกเหรอ ฉันมากกว่าไหมที่ต้องถามนายว่ากำลังทำบ้าอะไร" "ซี๊ดดด เอากันอยู่ไง ไม่มีตาดูรึไง" "ก็เพราะมีตาดูไง ถึงได้ถาม นายทำแบบนี้ได้ยังไง นายคบกับฉันแต่มาเอากับผู้หญิงคนอื่นนี่นะ!" "ก็เธอไม่ให้ฉันเอา ฉันก็ต้องมาเอากับคนอื่นสิวะ รู้แล้วก็รีบออกไปสักที ขัดจังหวะชิบ"

Karlina Agna Husein, adalah seorang tokoh Antagonis yang paling ditakuti seluruh dunia, namun kecelakaan besar membuat sang Antagonis itu seketika berubah menjadi protagonis. Dalam menjadi dirinya yang baru Karlina dihadapkan banyak pilihan dalam hidupnya. Akankah Karlina mampu menghadapi lika-liku kehidupannya yang baru. Atau menyerah pada kenyataan?

CEO LEO’S BABY MAMA IS BACK! (Mommy, please forgive daddy) “Why would I accept the claim of a child that I am sure you don’t even know who the father is. That child ain’t mine.” ~ Darby Miller, labeled a jinx and not loved by her parents. She tried to find love in the arms of any one who cared to see her pain. Until a truth and dare game resulted into a night of passion and that changed her life forever. After ending up pregnant and left on her own, Darby Miller swore to never have anything to do with Leo Robin ever again. He denied their child which means he has lost every right as a father. Years later, she became a charming single mother as well as a successful business woman. Unexpectedly, he is back into her life again. And this time, Leo would do everything to prove that he deserves her forgiveness. Will he be able to untangle the misunderstanding from years ago? Does he stand a chance to prove with actions that he can be a loyal husband and a loving dad?

I find cigarette ashes on the passenger seat of my wife's car. She brushes me off, saying, "My new assistant left it there. He's not the most sensible." When I ask for a divorce, she stares at me in disbelief. "Just because of that?" "Yeah. Just because of that!"

Charlene, beautiful and elegant, suffered abuse in the hands of her foster family, her aunt and uncle after the death of her parents. Tired of the unending circle of torture, she packs up one day after she turned sixteen and ran off on her own. She had to do odd jobs, including regularly donating her blood to make some amount of money to take care of herself. On one of her regular trips to donate her blood, Charlene ends up in more trouble than she bargained for, getting herself entangled with the most ruthless billionaires in the country. Noah Cooper, the masked billionaire, is a name that many respect and fear. No one knows why he wears a mask, and those who dared to ask, ended up begging with their lives to be forgiven. He is ruthless, unforgiving and a silent poison, not one to be messed with. He hates women, and avoids them like a plague, but why? What happens when these two polar opposites meet? And what happens when they discover they're about to be parents in the most odd way possible?

จะมารักอะไรในวันที่เธอเดินออกมา ทำไมตอนที่เราสองคนอยู่ด้วยกันเขาจึงไม่เห็นคุณค่า นี่สินะที่เรียกว่าไม่เห็นโลงศพไม่หลั่งน้ำตา

A tale of two souls, intertwined by fate: One soul, cloaked with isolation and grief, was a solitary figure who struggles to connect with others. The other soul has a heart hardened against the possibility of love. Florence “Flo” Emry, now twenty-one, has retreated into a life of solitude following a traumatic car accident that occurred when she was sixteen. It changed her life forever. The accident left her completely deaf in one ear and partially deaf in the other as she needs hearing aid for it. She was devastated when she found out that she became disabled, but she was more broken when she also found out that she had tragically lost her parents and older brother in only one night. Feeling abandoned and worthless, Florence, who was filled with debt from her student loan, has become deeply disappointed and resentful towards herself, seeing herself as a useless human being. One fateful day, a chance encounter with a mysterious man named Zacchaeus “Chaos” Spencer Battenkurt the filthy rich billionaire playboy, 26 years old, turned her life upside down. This charismatic, very polite and respectful man, seemingly ordinary, was actually hiding a deep dark secret. These two souls, so different yet intertwined by fate, must navigate their own internal struggles while also confronting the challenges of their external world. But the question remains: Will they be able to break down their barriers and find solace in each other’s company or will their differences prove to be insurmountable obstacles?

"Kamu harus menikah, Asa. Nggak mungkin kan kamu melajang selamanya?" Angkasa Nirada Tanaka atau yang biasa dipanggil Asa, terdiam mendengar apa yang akan diucapkan oleh mamanya. Pada sang ayah, Asa mungkin masih bisa berkelit. Tapi mamanya adalah seseorang yang menyelamatkan hidupnya dari kubangan kenangan kelam bersama sang ibu kandung. Mana berani ia melawan padanya? "Ya udah, nanti aku akan menikah. Kalau jodohku udah turun dari langit." "Tenang aja, kamu nggak usah nunggu jodohmu jatuh dari langit. Biar Mama yang carikan." Dan begitulah... awal mulanya jodoh Asa berada di tangan mamanya. [Cerita orangtua Asa bisa dibaca di buku: Cinta Satu Malam dengan Berondong] [Buku ini bisa dibaca terpisah dari kisah orangtua Asa]

"คุณ! ข่มขืนฉัน!" "ฉันไปทำเธอตอนไหน?" "ตอนไหนเหรอ ก็เมื่อคืนไงไอ้คนทุเรศ!" "เมื่อคืนฉันเมาเละ อย่ามาใช้มุกตื้น ๆ จับฉันมันไม่สำเร็จ" "จับบ้าอะไรฮะ ฉันโดนข่มขืนฉันเสียหายนะไอ้ชั่ว" "ก็บอกว่าไม่ได้ทำไงวะ" "เมาเหมือนหมาแล้วจำไม่ได้ว่าข่มขืนผู้หญิงเหรอ!" "ก็บอกว่าไม่ได้ทำไงวะ!" "ก็บอกว่าทำไงวะ!!"

After a drastic accident which rid her father of his job, Rose Monroe has to go into hustling to fend for the family. Out of options, she opts as a surrogate baby man for an unknown 'rich man' Yes, she got laid. Yes she gave birth to his kids. But that was all business. Yet why is he coming for more?!