Yo Mama So Old Jokes Novels & Stories

We both laughed, knowing that was far from the truth, but I had actually missed our banter. “Was that a limp I just saw? You'll have to get used to it now that you're almost 50.” I said, and she gasped in horror. “I’m only 46! How is it being old and still alone?” She shot back, looking genuinely offended by my age joke.

"Did Vanessa say that the chairman's daughter is a kept mistress? That's the biggest joke I've ever heard!" Right then, Terrence couldn't hold it in any longer and finally let out a cold laugh. "You idiots. This branch office has been losing money year after year. Headquarters has been wanting to investigate for a long time! "If Ms. Monroe hadn't hidden her identity and come down here to dig into your shady accounts herself, how much longer did you think you could keep fooling everyone? "You sure have some nerve making Ms. Monroe serve you coffee, fetch you water, and take the blame for you. How many heads do you think you have to lose?"

I asked, trying to confirm because I knew the only woman that was living here before and left was my mother in-law. “Your mother-in-law of course,” she said playfully, and I widened my eyes. “What? How can you people bad-mouth my mother in-law,” I said angrily, and Susan shifted in fear. “I am sorry, ma'am,” she said slowly. But all of sudden I burst into laughter. “I like it!” I screamed, and started laughing. Susan looked at me like I lost some screw in my head. “Were you joking before?” She asked unbelievably, and I nodded at her. “Ahhhh, you really shouldn't crack a joke again, it doesn't suit,” she said.

“Mary, didn’t I teach you to respect your elders? Why didn’t you pass it on to your daughter?” “I respect you, Nana,” I said innocently. “I just have way more fun with you.” “Bree!” Mom gasped over Nana’s loud laughter. “Well, what your mother didn’t teach you, I sure did.” She winked again. “Oh, Mare, don’t be so strait-laced. I heard you out there swearing at the casserole earlier. What was it you said? ‘Stupid fucking casserole dish being so fucking damn hot!’ Amongst others.”

I smile to take the sting out of the words. She grins. "I know you can, but without a woman to take care of you, your poor old mother must continue the chore." To her, having a wife would solve all my problems. "The day you are old and poor will be the day Dad buys his speedboat." This is an old joke and we all laugh. My mom pours coffee into my cup, hands it over, and we settle down at the table. Dad looks at me and then at Mom before turning back to me.

"I'm 47, not 50, so I'm not that old." Seeing his dad deny that he was not old when he looked like he was at least in his mid fifties , was funny to Liam. Liam couldn't help but laugh, but he stopped and covered his mouth when his dad darted his gaze to look at him. He darted his gaze and looked at Liam, and asked jokingly but with a serious face and tone, "Liam are you laughing at me?" "Absolutely not dad, why would i laugh at you? It's not even funny." Liam replied, putting up a serious face, "And you're not old, you know." Liam added, struggling to stop himself from laughing.

She cocked her head downwards and stared at them through her glasses. She looked in between Joel and Olivia for a while, then placed the magazine down and stood up. There was still that serious look on her face. Olivia noticed that she was an old lady in her mind eighties. There was a slight resemblance between Joel and the old lady - Or maybe not. "Who are you?" Mama asked. Olivia looked up at Joel with a confused expression, Joel only chuckled and shakes his head slightly. "She's the same old Mama as always.. Always so forgetful" He whispered to Olivia before looking at the old Lady.

She stopped in the middle of the living room and stared into space before asking, "Am I so old and used up that your father would so casually toss me aside for some young bimbo?" I was there in a flash, looking into her face, and said reassuringly, "Hell No, Mom. My Father and Grandfather are fools. They both literally screwed themselves out of the best women I know." She sighed and collapsed into my arms but didn't start crying again, just gave deep sighs. "Do I still look good for a woman my age, Jimmy?"

He stated. "I'm thirty," I said, with a smile. "Mister is so old. Your age is a big number," He chuckled to himself, and shook his head. Ouch, that hurt my feelings. "Old? I'm not old. You are old," I retorted, returning his chuckle. "Jerymee is not old. I'm thwee. I'm my mommy's baby," He argued, with an undertone of sass that reminded me of a certain female brunette.

“I miss the good ol’ days. When your mama used to drag all of you down here. The Calloways practically paid my rent.” My mouth tugs into a smile. “Happy to be of service.” “How’s your mama? Still hitched to that buffoon?” “You mean my dad?” He scoffs. “If that’s what you call him. I would’ve treated her better. Woman never gave me a shot.” “Yeah, I can’t imagine why.” Oldie — probably not even his real name — is somewhere in his seventies now. He never corrected us when we called him that as kids. He just wore the nickname like a crown.