Yo Mama So Old Jokes

"คุณ! ข่มขืนฉัน!" "ฉันไปทำเธอตอนไหน?" "ตอนไหนเหรอ ก็เมื่อคืนไงไอ้คนทุเรศ!" "เมื่อคืนฉันเมาเละ อย่ามาใช้มุกตื้น ๆ จับฉันมันไม่สำเร็จ" "จับบ้าอะไรฮะ ฉันโดนข่มขืนฉันเสียหายนะไอ้ชั่ว" "ก็บอกว่าไม่ได้ทำไงวะ" "เมาเหมือนหมาแล้วจำไม่ได้ว่าข่มขืนผู้หญิงเหรอ!" "ก็บอกว่าไม่ได้ทำไงวะ!" "ก็บอกว่าทำไงวะ!!"

ใคร ๆ ก็เป็นเมียผมได้ทั้งนั้นล่ะครับ ใครนอนกับผมแล้วอยากจะครางแทนตัวว่า เมีย ก็ตามสบาย แต่ผม “ไม่เคยเป็นผัวของใคร” ก็แค่นั้นเอง

"ทำไม จ้องฉันทำไม คิดว่าฉันจะรับผิดชอบหรอ ฝันไปเถอะ อ้อหวังว่าสีจากตัวเธอคงไม่ตกใส่ที่นอนฉันนะ" ไร้ซึ่งเสียงโต้ตอบจากคนตัวเล็ก มีเพียงเสียงสะอื้นน้อย ๆ ที่ลอยออกมาให้ได้ยิน

The tour bus that my mother-in-law, Madison Caldwell, and my son, Samuel Sadler, are on flips over on a mountain road. It hangs from a tree on the cliff, on the verge of falling at any moment. My husband, Jared Sadler, is the leader of the nearest emergency response team. When the police officer calls the emergency hotline, he learns that Jared and his team are at a school event for Jared's first love's son. In my previous life, I asked my friend to drag Jared here to save Madison and Samuel. However, ashamed that her son had lost the competition, Jared's first love cut off all ties with him. On top of that, Jared was also fired from the emergency response team. After Madison and Samuel were discharged from the hospital, Jared tied my friend and me up and threw us off a cliff, shouting, "I lost everything because of you!" In this life, his first love's son wins the competition, but Jared will never laugh again.

I'm a gloomy loner guy. I prefer not to associates with others. I have no friends, I'm nobody, lack of self-confidence, an introvert. My life is a mess. I'm scared, I don't know why I'm like this. I'm tired physically, emotionally, everything! I wanna end up this sh*t! Loneliness doesn't kill, but sometimes I wish it did! Until I met her, she changed my dark side. She became a light to me. But one day, I never thought she would suddenly disappear in my arms. I can't imagine losing the person who give the way for my future. She has been my inspiration to move forward in life.

Stuart is young, handsome, and only 24—but he has a secret. His boss, Mandy, is 48, married, and powerful… yet she keeps him as her hidden lover and sugar mummy. What starts as secret nights of passion soon turns dangerous, as Mandy uses him not only for love but also to control her business rivals. Desire, secrets, and power games—can Stuart handle it all?

“What do you think you're doing, Xander?!” Hardin shouted. “Get your filthy hands off my wife.” He charged at us, slapping Xander's hands off my waist. Xander chuckled dryly. “What the hell do you mean, your wife? You seem to be a hella drunk baby, brother. She's mine!” ******* The only man she has ever had eyes for wasn't who she thought he was. The beauty she found was indeed a beast. He ripped her heart apart by cheating with her own sister on their wedding day. Her parents abandoned her and made her sister get married to her fiance for selfish reasons. She decided to have sex with his brother, a billionaire, all for revenge. He makes her a deal; carry my baby and I'll help you get your revenge. Will it all be worth it or will she be faced with even more trouble when Xander Rivera returns?

Ano kayang reaksyon ng ninuno natin kung mapunta sila sa 2020?Taong 1895.Isa ako sa mga batang namulat sa digmaan ng mga Pilipino at Amerikano. Nang lumaki ako, ipinagkasundo ako sa lalaking kalauna'y inibig ko rin, si Isagani. Ngunit sa hindi inaasahan, nagkasala s'ya sa batas at ipinapatay. Dalawang taon din ang lumipas, akala ko ay tuluyan na akong ikakasal sa lahing Amerikano...Ngunit nagkamali ako, dahil isang araw namulat ako sa ibang panahon at nalaman kong ikinasal na ako. Ikinasal sa lalaking nagmula sa taong 2020.

Rose went out to party at a club with her friends for successfully finishing college. There, she met a mysterious and aloof man called Rael and they had a one nightstand. She became accidentally pregnant. With no parents or money to care for herself and her pregnancy, she left with Rael, a man she barely knew. But what would become of her when she realized that she just signed herself up for danger?

When their one night stand resulted in an unexpected pregnancy, Nerissa life was turned upside down. Trillionaire CEO, Asher Blackwood, is determined to claim his heir and make Nerissa his - but on his terms. Nerissa finds out that he is her boss and realizes that she has no other choice but to enter a contract marriage with him. As they navigate their complicated marriage, Asher's secrets and Nerissa's fears threaten to tear them apart. Nerissa find out the truth about Asher's past and the real reason he's so desperate to hold on to her? As the stakes grow higher, Nerissa must decide whether to surrender to Asher or to go her own way, even if it means losing the man she loves."