Yo Mama So Old Jokes Novels & Stories

"You don’t get my jokes?" "I never get your jokes dad even mom." Dad immediately face mom. "You don’t get my jokes honey?" "No! I do well most of the time." She smile sheepishly. "Tyler, my jokes aren’t that bad right?" I glanced at Tyler and saw him shaking his head. "No, of course not. I find it funny." "See… even Tyler like it." I rolled my eyes. "He’s a liar." I muttered lowly. Dad raised his eyebrow to me. "What’s that?"

I exclaimed and chuckled. He was laughing too as he told his story. "I know! After I said that, he and our old men stared at me for a long time. Then Papa cursed me in Español and stormed out. But I know my joke was funny because I saw some of our old men holding in their laughs. Mama heard about it and lectured me about it. Anyway, it was one of my funniest jokes to date." Imagine being a kid and joking in front of your father after he just killed a person. And then imagine being so mad you had to kill in front of your child and he just jokes about your face. I guess craziness runs in their blood.

Jay teased. Mr Hendricks' face flushed. “What nonsense are you talking about! At my old age, how can you say something like that!” “Uh-huh… I was just joking. Why are you being so serious.” Jay laughed. Mr Hendricks coughed, still half embarrassed. “Even as a joke, how can you say such a ridiculous thing to your grandpa.” “But Grandpa, you are not that old. I'm sure there are women out there who would fall for your charms,”

“I can assure you that you haven't seen me before unless you’ve been frequenting roadside food stalls and Walmart.” I glare at her, gritting teeth and clenching my fists. The urge to give my forehead a smack kicks in. What did I tell this woman about making silly jokes with my grandfather? What is it with women and not following simple instructions for fuck’s sake?! There’s no way my grandfather won’t throw us both out of here now. That’s for sure! She’s ruined everything for me. Oh, I’m so going to— “Well, well, you're a funny one, aren't you?” My grandfather chuckles and my jaw drops.

She said with a smile. " Then who is old?? Me or Mamu ?? " He asked. She was trying to control her laughter. She was looking so pretty. I was enjoying looking at her. " Ummm..." She was about to say something but I stopped her. " Don't even answer that... I am not an old man. Do I look old?? " I asked her and she shook her head. " Yes you are Mamu, ask Myra. You scared Mami, she was going to say that you are an old man. "

The older woman retorted, a snicker escaped my lips, and I raised my eyes to see her looking at me with admiration, it was as if she was seeing a pregnant woman for the first time. “Mom, No. I have told you to stop using that as a joke, you can’t go into a prison and we won’t be caught, even if we are, we can’t be locked in a prison,” Hunter scolded, I squinted my eyes to understand what he was saying, before I was able to comprehend that that is a regular joke. “You take things extremely seriously, geez, someone would think you’re sixty-six instead of twenty-six, don’t be surprised when you start having grey hairs.” She sighed, calming down but still grinning.

Taking control of him wouldn't even be a challenge. Then, almost involuntarily, Matthew muttered, "Don't tell me… back in your day, you had a taste of older women too?" Every member of the Yeagers stood there with their mouths hanging open, completely shocked by Matthew's question. Even Matthew realized he had screwed up the moment the words left his mouth. Adam was over 100 years old. Was he really the person to joke with like that? To his surprise, Adam simply stroked his beard and smirked. "Take a guess."

Val gave an apologetic smile and sipped from her glass of coke. “We wouldn’t need to say it out loud because the amount of fat in these would literally kill us one day.” Zia scoffed, grabbing a bite of lasagna, and then pushed her palms out, seeing Mamma take a step in her direction. “Mamma, I’m just joking.” “Why do you eat it when you have to complain?” “It’s not like I can puke everything out now.” “Then stop puking stupid words.” Val and I could barely contain our laughter, the sounds, which according to my Mamma, were too unladylike, but little did we care. The ringing cell in Mamma’s apron pocket interrupted us. Mamma pulled it out and her brows creased.

Joyce yelled. “So? I didn’t tell her what a porno is. Relax.” “Grandma, what’s porno?” Josephine asked. At this point Nathan and I couldn’t hold in our laughter. “You think this is funny?” Mum asked. But she wasn’t talking to Nathan. She was talking to just me because her new found son-in-law could do no wrong. I narrowed my eyes at her. “Grandma can’t be a drag, she’s already a woman.” Naomi pointed out.

Her tone dripped with disdain as she said, "Being a business owner doesn't prove anything. Looking the way she does, maybe she's got some kind of kleptomania." Her words hit like a slap. My hand beside me curled into a fist before I could stop it. Whispers and muttered comments floated around. Someone even snapped pictures. "Wow, she looks so old! Even older than my mom. Does she not take care of herself?" "Maybe she really has some weird habits." "I thought the woman beside her was her daughter. Turns out that's her mother. What a plot twist! The mother looks younger than the child." Memory after memory of those same judgmental stares began to needle at me again. I could barely breathe.