Yo Mama So Old Jokes Novels & Stories

I don’t want you to feel bad if you should hear that I wasn’t just lucky enough to marry your father and give birth to a wonderful child like you at a young age, but also have a boyfriend at my old age. I burst out laughing, taking her by surprise. It took a while for me to get over my laughter, but I did. ‘Are you kidding? Did you just refer to yourself as old?’ another round of laughter bubbled its way out of me, causing Mom to join me. ‘Don’t say this outside, Mom, or you would get weird looks from people,’ I giggled. ‘You are only forty-three. That doesn’t count as being old.’ ‘Whatever,’ she scoffed. ‘What I am trying to say is that I didn’t want you to feel bad about yourself.’

"Okaa-san is indeed old. Okaa-san's youngest child is already a grandparent." Hey! So, my jokes were returned, eh? Ah, yes she also knows about my son who has a child. But, I also told them that Jeje and his son died from the virus too. But, they know that I was once a grandfather. Ah, maybe until now. But, I won't say that. "Kaa-san is making fun of me, huh?" I whined. Mom laughed, rubbing my head. I'm forty-one years old. What is wrong? Isn't that still young?

Barbara exclaimed. Joe laughed. "I told you, don't equate it to human age." "It turns out you’re the same age as Mr. William, the resident at the home! Hahaha, you’re a Grandpa!" Barbara doubled over laughing. "You really enjoy laughing at me, don't you?" "I just realized why you have such old alcohol—it’s because you’re old too!" Barbara shrieked with laughter. "Hey!" "Hey, Old Man Joe! Give me some money! I’m your granddaughter now!"

Dillon asked as he scratched his chin. "Time to get a watch!" He replied jovially. "For fuck's sake! Hahaha! Alright, DAD! If I wanted to hear terrible, milked-to-death, dad jokes-" "You callin' me old, bitch? I'll have you know-" "-I'd have stayed home with the folks! Well since-!" "-Y'know, it's rude to talk about someone's age!-" "-both my homes are already full of old, dusty, tired-" "-Don't insult yer elders, fuckhead!-"

In fact they usually were so stupid they ended up being really funny. “Hey… Emily…” he said. She knew a joke was coming. It was like they weren’t even in the middle of a life or death mission right now. “Know what my grandfather said to me right before he kicked the bucket??” “He said.. how far do you think I can kick this bucket!” Alan laughed at his highly inappropriate joke. “Papaw never said that.” She said blatantly. “Dead ass.” Alan said. “I heard him.” She accidentally let out a snort at that.

foolishly? Mom could plainly see by the discoloration and distended nature of my 'reproductive organ' that she was 'getting to me.' She was disappointed that I had not cracked yet. She was running out of ideas. Deliverance came when a commercial appeared. It was for baby powder, a pretty mother with her newborn. She noticed I watched with almost religious attention. Mom: "You know Jimmy, I am still only 40. Do you know how long women can have babies?" Me: "I don't know...till they are 40?"

Still, I wanted to make the effort. “Hello ladies!” They all nodded their heads, acknowledging me. I walked over to the oldest woman weaving a blanket and put my hand on her shoulder, and tried to give my warmest smile. “Can you show me how to do that?” I asked. Again, I was given a small nod. I watched her fingers work as if they were making magic. “Wow, I don’t think I can do that! You’re amazing!” Next thing I know, all of the women were laughing. I let out a small smile, trying to hide my embarrassment. “What’s so funny?” I asked. “Nothing child, we’ve been doing this since we were pups. So we’ve had over two centuries to practice.” The old lady smiled. “Oh don’t be so hard on yourself!

Then someone in the crowd sneered, their voice dripping with sarcasm. "Oh, that must be Sophia's sugar daddy. Showed up to defend her. She's not picky, is she. She'll take a guy in his fifties." The crowd erupted. Some covered their mouths, laughing. Others joined in openly. "Yeah, I heard she doesn't care about age. Maybe this old man's a regular too." The dean's expression tightened. He turned sharply toward the crowd. "All of you–shut your mouths!" He glanced at my injuries, his voice urgent.

I bring my girlfriend, Madeline Conway, back to my village hometown to meet my parents and discuss marriage plans. Mom and Dad grin slyly as they say, "You're going to have to be careful with your belongings after marrying Jasper, Maddie." My younger brother, Justin Norman, bursts out in laughter. He scoffs and says, "You probably don't know this, Maddie, but Jasper stole Mom's gold necklace when he was little. Dad locked him up in the storeroom all day and night and still couldn't get a confession out of him." The moment he says that, Mom and Dad smack the table and burst into laughter. My grip on my fork tightens as I fight to contain my anger and anguish. "I said I never stole it."

"Plus, I'm not the only one who's here." The old man furrowed his eyebrows. "I don't get it. I can see only you standing before me. Or are you a spirit now?" Draya chuckled. "Oh Adam, what's the polite way of saying 'fuck you' to an old man?" Adam pretended to think. "I think you'll say 'Adam if you don't mind, go intercourse yourself'". Both burst out laughing at the corny joke. Oh the old man had a wonderful taste of humor. "I really missed you Adam. But on the bright side, I came with..."