you re so old jokes one liners

Short terrifying stories that leave you insomnolent. . . definitely a must read. A family was given a gift of a huge cactus. They gave it a place of honour in the dining room,and soon noticed a strange phenomenon-it appeared to be breathing! In and out,in and out,ever so slightly the sides of the huge plant were moving. The mother decided . . . OPEN TO FIND OUT THE REST!!

These are just the addition of my books on wattpad. Emily A letter to Santa Last wish And The moon and I

Will a maton girl with a stone heart break her own forbidden rule? Will someone can tame and control her uncontrolled wall? Florencia is not an ordinary girl. She's not prim and proper. She moved like a real man, surrounded by a men. But... She met this cold and ruthless rich man.. one looked at him and she feels like turning.. turning into a person she doesn't know where to came from. Will she gives in? Or will she still fought for her beliefs not to be tame by someone?

The youngest billionaire in town with looks of Adonis and everything at his feet desired just one thing more in life. His perfect match. He wished for a wife whose beauty would turn heads, a smile which would lighten up his world and figure which would curve perfectly under his fingers. A beauty who spoke with etiquette and made him proud. But he got her A mediocre girl with average looks, fierce personality and no curves. Outspoken and downright rude. She was everything he didn't want his wife to be like. But who could defy when their souls were bound by threads of fate. She was insecure And he fueled it further She considered herself inferior to him And he used every chance to make it a belief. She had a beautiful delicate golden heart And he made sure to taint it black and crush it under his Gucci shoes. She was his not so beautiful wife And he made sure that nothing left of her could be ever considered beautiful. "I will taint every damn fibre of your body my dear Elle...every bit of it till you beg me to divorce you" -Ashton "I will love every flaw of you my dear husband ...each and everyone till this heart beats for you" -Elle BEAUTY SERIES: Book 1 His not so beautiful wife Book 2 His Scarred Beauty

She went to a club with her friends to drink for the first time after finishing her third-year examinations. Gabriella was a 21-year-old virgin who had never kissed anybody before. She met a stranger at a club, accompanied him to a hotel, had her first kiss, and lost her virginity. She enjoyed herself. When she awoke the next morning, the man was gone,  He left. She found out she was pregnant a few months later. She continued to go to the hotel in the hopes of running into the man, but after four months, she gave up. He abandoned her, leaving her to face the situation alone. She dropped out of university to raise her son. She returned to school a year later to complete her studies and get her degree. She then saw the person she had slept with on TV and realized he was now engaged, as well as the fact that he was the well-known multi-billionaire Javier Hills. What would his grandma do when she finds a boy who looks just like her grandson?

On the day Emily returned to the country, she received a request from her father, which was to flirt with her ex-lover to achieve the goal of marrying him, saving Wine company, which was on the verge of bankruptcy. In the flickering light of candles and melodious melodies surrounding, Kevin used force to hug Emily's small waist, pulling her close to his face and whispering: “Emily, your face is also really thick. Do you think you can still seduce me after you've abandoned me?” “Aren't you hugging me? You chose me to be your dance partner, not the other girls, right?” Emily curled her lips and asked. “Don't be too confident about yourself. I'm just worried that you'll seduce my little brother.” Kevin smiled scornfully. “Then try to hug me tight. If you let go of me, I will seduce your brother.”

Aurora was sheltered her whole life, knowing she was different. Being forced to mate the alpha's son was the least of her worries. After her first shift, she discovers that not only does she belong to an ancient race of guardians but she is also the mate of a dragon. Drake grew up fighting, training to be the best. As the future dragon alpha, he had to be. The worst thing he had to deal with were the wolves that bordered their land. When he finds one in trouble, he can't help but to try and save her. When he learns she is his mate, he's fearful yet excited. Her uncle, leader of the guardians, come to claim her. Will Drake put aside his fears of mating her and convince her to stay or will he forever lose his only mate?

Four sisters sat on the kitchen floor in a circle each holding their favorite icecream tub and started discussing their heart problems. Rude but not so... Rude Badboy but not so... Badboy Player but not so... Player Jerk but not so... Jerk "Why do we all have such an amazing selection in the boys?" Asked both the twins at a time looking at their elder sisters. "We will definitely note the sarcasm." added the middle sister for them. "Don't worry dears! This is not the end and we will find someone else for sure. That is life which goes on and on and on." assured the elder sister. Well we will also see how they will get out of this Not so... Cliché lives, but will they?

Meet Skyler Jackson. She is the Alpha's 17-year-old nearly 18-year-old daughter, but is also the pack slave and the Alpha's punching bag. She dreamed of a mate when she was younger but doesn't believe, anymore. Meet the Mason brothers: Cole, Elijah, and Nathan. They are the Alphas of the most feared pack in the country. They are said to be ruthless and cruel to whoever crosses them, but they will also protect packs and loved ones with their lives. What will happen when Skyler meets these three brothers? What will happen when one commits the ultimate betrayal? Will she be able to forgive? Will his brothers? What will be in Skyler's future? * Warning: contains some abuse and mature content *

Joyce and Jake grew up differently. Joyce financially struggled while Jake grew up with a golden spoon in his mouth. With the flick of his finger, he will get what he wants. Financially status is one of the main problems of Joyce. And this is the reason why she and Jake crossed each other in an unexpected event. It just started with a stag party that Jake will never forget and it’s an embarrassing moment on Joyce’s part. And when he found out who it was, Jake did everything he could to get what he wanted even if he pay everything including Joyce. Joyce was very annoyed with what Jake’s wanted to happen. She doesn’t look like money to reconcile with that Jake’s wishes. But eventually, they also agreed because of the problem that her stepmother was involved in. With the personality of Jake. Joyce fell in love without Jake’s knowing. Their situation became too complicated so Joyce broke the agreement and went away. After a long year, the two met again. And eventually, they will know that the reason why they met again was that they were destined.