you re so old jokes one liners

When Rose Shaffer's fiancé cheats on her with her sister, she dumps him and marries a male escort she meets at a bar.Her newly-wed husband looks gorgeous. But he shares the same last name as Rose's sworn enemy, Jonathan Finch."Nothing more than a coincidence!" Rose convinces herself.But at every occasion that Mr. Finch attends, her husband shows up too, without fail. His explanation to her is, "Nothing more than a coincidence!"Rose believes him. That is, until she finds out that Mr. Finch shares the same bewitching face as her husband.Rose clenches her fists and jaw as she fumes. "Is this a coincidence too?"There are rumors going around online that Jonathan Finch, the patriarch of the Finch family, is in love with a married woman.The Finches immediately make a statement to clear his name. "Rumors! Those are nothing but rumors! A member of the Finch family will never be a home-wrecker!"But the very next day, Jonathan Finch makes a public appearance with a woman. "It is not a rumor! It is true that my wife is married!"

"There should be rules if we are even going to do this," he said without looking at me. "I have always lived by the rules." He slid a file towards me. "This is the contract. The rules are stated there." I opened the file and glanced through it. "You can take it home and study them; give me feedback tomorrow evening. But I will read out the rules for you now because they start now, and in case your brain can't comprehend them, then I can explain." Anger seethed through me, and I almost threw the file back at him, but when I thought about the money involved and how it would benefit little Sophie, I bit my lower lip to push back the anger. He continued. "Rule number one; don't you fall in love with me." His eyes flipped up to me. "Crystal clear," I said. "That would never happen." Ellen never had fun in college. One night she decided to have fun with her friends and slept with a handsome stranger who disappeared before she woke up. A month later, she found out she was pregnant and searched everywhere for him, but to no avail. Five years later, she moved to a new city and met the same man she never thought she would ever see again. He didn't remember anything about her, and he was now a cold, arrogant man who needed a wife, and she needed money. They agreed to contract marriage with strict rules, one of them being never to fall in love with each other. They were sure they wouldn't break the rule, but as sparks grew between them and became too much, they found themselves trying hard to keep to the rules. Who will break rule number one between them?

George Hamilton, Emily Wood's distant benefactor throughout her growing up with foster parents, is a successful executive. When Emily turns 20, he appears in her life in person and turns it upside down by asking her hand in marriage. In order to escape from foster parents' abuse, Emily marries him in return. Will the marriage out of love work for both of them or will they part in their own ways?

The story of Sienna Zannotti and Eric Connall is not your typical love story. They are the leaders of rival mafia organizations, and when fate brings them together in an arranged marriage, sparks fly. Sienna is a fierce and unforgiving Don, while Eric is just as ruthless in his leadership of the American mafia. They both resist the idea of a marriage, but their parent's wishes leave them no choice. As they meet for the first time, they each find themselves drawn to the unexpected qualities of the other. Eric discovers a captivating woman in Sienna, and she finds him attractive despite his leadership position. But can two powerful and dominant mafia lords make a marriage work? Will they succumb to their differences and go their separate ways, or will they be able to find a common ground to build from? A Love So Dangerous is a journey through the obstacles of love and power, as Sienna and Eric navigate their way through their arranged marriage. Is their love powerful enough to withstand the forces surrounding them, or will the dangers of their worlds prove too much to bear?

Ano kayang reaksyon ng ninuno natin kung mapunta sila sa 2020?Taong 1895.Isa ako sa mga batang namulat sa digmaan ng mga Pilipino at Amerikano. Nang lumaki ako, ipinagkasundo ako sa lalaking kalauna'y inibig ko rin, si Isagani. Ngunit sa hindi inaasahan, nagkasala s'ya sa batas at ipinapatay. Dalawang taon din ang lumipas, akala ko ay tuluyan na akong ikakasal sa lahing Amerikano...Ngunit nagkamali ako, dahil isang araw namulat ako sa ibang panahon at nalaman kong ikinasal na ako. Ikinasal sa lalaking nagmula sa taong 2020.

Single at thirty-five, Sylvia Dimaculangan is been passionately working for several years as a Executive secretary of the Ledesma Company. And the newly appointed CEO, dashing and mischievous, Troye Matthew Ledesma. Now that she has to work with the current heir who is five years younger than her, Sylvia faces chaos. She just then realized, she's not getting younger anymore. She wanted to live her life to the fullest and lastly to find someone to be with until the rest of her life. So she decided to quit her toxic job. Will Troye be able to continue his life as CEO without his so called old maid secretary?

Jelek, culun, ratu jerawat, dan masih banyak panggilan buruk lainnya yang disematkan pada Alana di sekolah. Kehidupan sekolahnya memang seperti itu, hanya dicari ketika ulangan dan ujian tiba. Seolah tugasnya hanya untuk memberi anak-anak dikelasnya contekan. Situasi di rumah pun tak jauh berbeda. Ayah dan ibu yang selalu bertengkar ketika bertemu, membuat Alana lelah akan semua itu. Di suatu hari ketika dia benar-benar lelah dan kabur ke sebuah toko antik, dia menemukan sebuah buku fanfiction. Nama salah satu tokoh itu mirip seperti namanya, namun yang membedakan adalah Alana yang ada di dalam novel cantik dan pemberani, tak seperti dirinya. Di saat perjalanan pulang, tanpa diduga-duga saat pulang dia ditabrak oleh sebuah truk. Dan ketika bangun, wajah tampan seorang aktor papan atas berada tepat di depan wajahnya. "Alana? Kau kenapa? Aku ini kan kakakmu?" Alana masuk ke dalam novel itu!

The forest within the quiet village of Gashea is a dangerous place. Within the trees lies something dark, cursed, and wicked. For centuries, a demon with malevolent power terrorizes the villagers of the small valley home. He had brought droughts, disease, and famine. To ensure that he will keep his powers at bay, the village of Gashea offers a bride to the demon every night. And by dawn, without fail, they would see the corpse of the offered brides floating along their bright, shining river. With the next choosing fast approaching, the head villagers made a shocking decision. They had chosen Fyn. A man. When Fyn starts to slowly fall in love with the demon within the forest, secrets of the past unravel. The truth makes them wonder whether it’s the right monster Gashea fears.

What happens when a new girl enters a school with two high-level and talented groups that hate each other? What can happen when the cards are played and fate has a different purpose for you? Sofia, a cold girl whose only family is her mother and brother, will have to face abrupt changes and will need a lot of help. But who will be able to give it to her? Esteban and his group or Daniel and his friends are two good options. Who will she choose? Being the new girl is not easy, especially when there is someone from your past who loves to make things difficult for you. In Sofia's hands is to get out of the past and move forward or stay in it and suffer, what will Sofia choose?

The tale of college girl who was orphaned for a sad reason struggled to pay her tuition. She got a job as a nanny of twins to a widowed mother. The family was rich and influential. There was a ball. Lathrina Mevens aka Lacey was forced to attend. She danced with the prince and ran when the clock stuck twelve. Sounds familiar right? Not quite. Lacey would rather die than wear the crown and it turns out that the Royal Family has many darks secrets than Lacey is willing to be involved in.