You Re So Old Jokes One Liners

I'll bear your pains, you simply bear with me... “Shusshhhhhh, it's okay, everything’s gonna be okay Maya, just relax, I am not here to harm you, I’m here to protect you, trust me, just this once, trust me baby, I’ll sort all this for you.” His magical voice caressed her soul and she began sobbing more like she wanted to empty her sorrows into him. “I... I am not a s*ut, I...I am not a p*rn star, I just wanted to work... I...,” she continued sobbing. Maya and Tazz Jindal are in love, but like all others who are truly in love, they have to pass the litmus test before their love can reach its pinnacle of success. After her sister met with a tragic end at the hands of merciless murderers because of her impending marriage, Maya was shattered and was left with no other option but to do what she did… Hurt the love of her life, Tazz Jindal, that left Tazz completely broken, shattered, humiliated, and emotionally disturbed. After getting treated for depression, Tazz finally makes a comeback, with an intention to find and avenge his humiliation caused by Maya. They meet, they play the game of hate and love, finally when all is sorted and Maya eventually lets go of her fear and decides to spend the rest of her life with Tazz, she comes face to face with another ugly truth that fate unfolds before her, and once again, the reason is Tazz Jindal. She is shocked when she realizes that Tazz had played a dirty game with her to avenge her, what Tazz was not aware of was the fact that the ace of the card was still Maya’s sleeve - their daughter Jia Amidst hatred, revenge, family, and love, will they be able to unite as one?

True is an ex assassin,Joe, Josephine is an actress,with a secret disorder,which makes her want to live the life of her characters. True's grandad might not make it quarter way through the new year,and requests one thing from True. That he gets himself a girlfriend. Will True be able to find someone he can truly relate to and can Joe find solace somewhere and learn her who she really is? Can they both work together,pretending to be a couple and get the one thing they both need from the world. Can they both find freedom?

She is the heavenly young lady of Gunn, who should be happy, carefree and active, loved and spoiled by her parents, but the bottomless greed of the unscrupulous person has ruined her family. Her parents died, her inheritance was taken away, she fell into a tragic situation, not knowing what to do. But she was not willing, her parents' whole life poured their hearts into Gunn's group, she couldn't let it fall into the hands of others. She promised herself that she would take back everything that belonged to her. In one incident, she helped a man. She didn't know that that man was Brene Brian, the CEO of the JA multinational corporation, also the most powerful man in the country S. It was also because of this coincidence that made two people from strange to familiar, then tied their lives together without realizing it. Sweet Pea secretly exclaims: "Brene Brian, thank you. Fortunately, every step of the way, I still have you by my side. Thank you very much!"

“You must be fooling yourself if you think I would accept being mated to a filthy, wolfless omega like you. Let’s cut to the chase and get to it. I, Xavier, future Alpha of Crystal Pack, reject you as my mate.” Xavier said and threw me to the ground. “Pathetic!” With one last disgusted glance, he left the room. *********** Abused and disregarded by the entire pack members, her adoptive parents, and her twin sister, who loathes her. Ariana endured all of this, hoping for a better life when she finally meets her mate. But when she is rejected by the one person she has waited for all her life, Ariana is heartbroken and plots to escape and start a new life of freedom, but fate has other plans for her. When Alpha Arthur comes to trade for omegas, and Ariana is brought forward as the last omega, she discovers she has been given a second chance mate. Arthur, the ruthless Alpha King who doesn’t believe in love but sees it as a weakness to his legacy, and a fragile, wolfless omega who happens to be his mate and maid. Can these two ignore the pull that keeps drawing them closer? Can Ariana break through the cold-iced heart of Arthur and bring warmth into it? Arthur is related to Ariana’s painful past. Will she claim her rightful place as his Luna at Shadow Howl Pack or let the consequences of their past destroy her forever?

The Internet is shocked when Peyton Grant, an award-winning actor takes his life. His final tweet before his death is short and simple. "I like you so, so much, Ri. But you're too bright—you burn me whenever I get close to you." Everyone knows Rita York's character in her new show is called Rina. That's when I learn that the person I've had a crush on for a decade has someone that he loves but can't have. When I wake up one day, I find that I've traveled back three years in time. This time, I'm going to help Peyton make his wish come true.

Alexis Jenn Buenavista, a 24-year-old spoiled brat from a wealthy, influential, and famous family, has a life revolving around drinking with friends as if there's no tomorrow. Work isn't in her vocabulary. That's how she's always been... until one day, her parents told her to marry 38-year-old billionaire Zac Rogen Walker. As a stubborn and spoiled brat, she tried to run away but was caught by Zac's bodyguards. She can't accept the idea of an older husband! Zac needs an heir for his company, and his parents are pressuring him to marry since he's not getting any younger. He chose Alexis because of her youth and vitality, which would surely provide him with an heir. The two make a contract that gives Alexis the freedom she once had, but with one condition: she can't have sex with her boyfriend or any other man except Zac. And so, their awkward married life begins. Who will give in to temptation first? Who will give up? And who will fall in love?

This is BOOK 1 for the TRILOGY: The Devil, the Mercenary & the SaintNicholai swear not to love again. His life was on auto pilot after Amanda, her first love died. Then faith played with him one crazy night, he met Cassie, a young beautiful angelic innocent girl. Now, he is in battle whether to keep his promise to his first love or break it to be with a woman he can't keep his hands and mind off with. He created a wall to guard his heart but then he met her. They were united by one crazy night, can they stop from falling to each other. Both can't take their mind from each other, both can't deny the attraction they have. Can they stay together when the past holds him hostage? This is a roller coaster story will give you one hell of a ride. When can he finally stake his claim and say angel you're mine.Book 1: Angel you're MineBook 2: Save MeBook 3: Broken Vows

April Hreghen Atienza ay ang babaeng gustong gusto si Sammuel Lazarus Sandoval. She like Sammuel so much kaya ginawa niya ang lahat mapansin lang siya ng crush niya. Dahil sa pag-iibigan nilang dalawa, nalihis sila ng daan. Parehong bumagsak ang grado nila dahil hindi nila natutokan ang kanilang pag-aaral. Nawasak ang kanilang puso, nasaktan, umiyak, nagdusa, naghabol at pilit na pinapatatag ang relasyon. Paano nila maibabalik ang dating sigla ng pag-iibigan? Ang tanong... maibabalik pa ba ang dating pinagsamahan?

Bonjour Readers! I am Ishika Sehgal and I am an author in Wattpad and Chapters- the interactive stories. And now I am here too! Please support MRIDULA ROY !22 year old physiotherapist! Smart, bubbly, innocent and shy! She has a happy family with her parents who loved her like there is no tomorrow! What happens when her prince charming will enter her oh so perfect life? YUVRAJ SINGHANIA! 25 year old young businessman and politician! Strict, possessive, ruthless and powerful! He has a very beautiful and large family whom he loves more than anything else! What happens when the beauty stumbles upon the beast? To get to know more about the story please read my story and support me! Thank you, Ishika Sehgal x

It's Thanksgiving, and I'm waiting for Zeke Jones to come home after cooking up an extravagant meal. When Zeke returns, he doesn't even glance at the meal I've prepared for him. Instead, he proceeds to pack a bag. "I can't celebrate Thanksgiving with you this year," he says. I take another bite of my turkey and say nothing. At the stroke of midnight, Zeke's first love posts a new photo on her social media page. In the photo, she's lying on Zeke's back with a bright smile on her face. The moon outside the window is bright. "Happy to spend Thanksgiving with good company," her caption reads. Instead of hysterically questioning Zeke about the post, I just tap on the "like" button without reacting in any way. Zeke calls me. His voice sounds panicked as he tries to explain himself. "Please don't misinterpret the post. I will definitely spend Thanksgiving with you next year…" I freeze for a few moments, letting out a small laugh. I don't offer him a reply. Next time, he says? Oh, Zeke, I'm afraid there won't be a next time.