Your So Fat Jokes Novels & Stories

She asked, pinching his cheek gently. "That's impossible.I've been practicing jokes.”Matteo grinned proudly. "Oh… really?" "Yes… I have seventeen already." "Should I be worried?"Sofia asked, looking toward Lorenzo. "Yup! You should be very worried." "They're terrible," Marco added. "Noo… they're masterpieces," Matteo corrected. "Alright, I'll be the judge of that," Sofia said. "Good. I'll save the funniest one for you,” He said, leaning close and whispering loudly enough for everyone to hear.

NINETY-SEVEN: Michael Michael Delaney used to be fat. Not puppy-padding fat—bursting-frankfurts-in-a-boiling-pot fat. He remembered gym class and swimming lessons. All the thin guys could be divided into one of two groups: those who looked but didn’t comment, and those who looked and commented with enthusiasm. Tubby Bitch. Fat Mumma. Fanny Tits. The silent ones were the worst. They just stared. Fat kids are like alcoholics, he now knew. They always have excuses.

Vincent pov I laugh so hard my eyes water. I haven't heard anything so ridiculous and stupid in a long time. The last time someone made me laugh like that was in high school. But the look on my Beta's face can only mean how serious his question was. I wipe away my tears and straighten my posture. Like a kid trying to look serious, I clear my throat a few times before speaking up. "That was a great joke, my friend, but warn me next time before you try to say something so absurd. One of these days, I might choke on a piece of food and die. Do you want it?" I raise an eyebrow at him.

I say holding my moans in. “Mhm” he moaned shaking his head. “I’m still full from breakfast” “Oh. I eat a lot then, I guess I am fat” I chuckle amused. He pulls off me and holds me firmly by my shoulders, seriousness crossing his features, “Don’t ever say that” His voice deep and serious. Still laughing, “It was a joke Jamey calm down” said rubbing his cheek “But I have put on a little weight though, my office skirts hardly fit.”

"I will get off if you take back with you said about me." "Get off - off of me, I will never take back what I said." I whispered, trying hard to breathe in, but can't, "Wha - What I said is what I said. And a fact is a fact, be - because you are a big - big fatty. Look at you - you're bigger than an elephant and - and you're heavier than a - a whale!" He laughed and that puts more weight on me. "You - you fat fatty, oh my god, I don't know people this heav - heavy exist." I whispered, laughing at myself. Jeffrey laughed harder.

“We don’t look like ‘wounds’, do we? If you dress up like that?” “What are we then?” “No, you, mister, you look like a company boss who’s going on a vacation. You just lack a sun hat.” The skinny man said. The comment made the fat man look at himself. “Hm. I don’t know if that’s an appreciation or a sarcasm.” The skinny man looked annoyed. “How come you don’t know which?” “It’s you. Anything can mean good and bad if it’s you.” The fat man said.

He deliberately said, “Oh no, oh no, I’ve turned into a big fatty.” “You’ve only gained a few pounds compared to before. It’s not a bad thing. Don’t act like the sky is falling.”

He came with a glass of juice and oatmeal. “Am I looking fat?” I asked. “No, you are so thin,” He said sitting beside me. “Ohh, thank God,” I said wiping my fake fear on my forehead. “Why did you ask,” He asked, looking at me in concern. I love him whenever he wears casual around me. “I am not pregnant,” I said, taking a glass of juice from his tray. “How did you know,” He asked. “I am not looking fat” I took one sip. “You are a little fat around your boobs,” He said after a few minutes.

“Yeah well, my sleeping pattern has been off-balance lately, so it's only natural that my eating habits will change too. And geez, I can't help being hungry all the time.” “I think you should cut back on the food a little. At this rate, you'll end up being the biggest person I know.” He teased, poking her belly. “You're such a dick.” “But you still love this dick.” “Are you serious right now? Tell me, does it look like I’m in the mood for any of your crap?” “Whoa, it was just a joke.” “Don't joke like that. Some jokes that are funny, right? And others that are just not ok. Guess which category yours falls into.”

I said, taking a slice. He laughed. “Then maybe you should start going to the gym.” I froze mid-bite and looked at him slowly. “Are you saying I’m fat?” “What? No, come on, you’re perfect,” he said immediately, hands half-raised in surrender. “But you just told me to gym,” I pressed, pretending to frown. “Because you complained about junk food, baby!” he said, sounding genuinely confused now. I burst into laughter, nearly choking on the pizza. “I was only joking!”