You Re So Old Jokes One Liners

All Norah wanted was to finish nursing school and keep her head down. She didn’t expect Ivan Thomas—the boy with the broken past and the fire in his eyes. He was her first protector, her first heartbreak… and the man she never forgot. Years later, their paths cross again. He’s powerful now, and still impossibly drawn to her. But love between them comes with scars, second chances, and a fight for forever.

It's Thanksgiving, and I'm waiting for Zeke Jones to come home after cooking up an extravagant meal. When Zeke returns, he doesn't even glance at the meal I've prepared for him. Instead, he proceeds to pack a bag. "I can't celebrate Thanksgiving with you this year," he says. I take another bite of my turkey and say nothing. At the stroke of midnight, Zeke's first love posts a new photo on her social media page. In the photo, she's lying on Zeke's back with a bright smile on her face. The moon outside the window is bright. "Happy to spend Thanksgiving with good company," her caption reads. Instead of hysterically questioning Zeke about the post, I just tap on the "like" button without reacting in any way. Zeke calls me. His voice sounds panicked as he tries to explain himself. "Please don't misinterpret the post. I will definitely spend Thanksgiving with you next year…" I freeze for a few moments, letting out a small laugh. I don't offer him a reply. Next time, he says? Oh, Zeke, I'm afraid there won't be a next time.

Party-goer si Karisma. Isang gabi nang may magtangkang masama sa kanya ay iniligtas siya ng isang lalaki na nandoon, si Tobias Ortega. Nang malaman ng kanyang ina ang nangyari ay inutusan siya nitong pilitin ang binata na pumayag para maging personal bodyguard niya, kung hindi ay hindi na siya papayagan pang dumalo sa mga parties. Ngunit ayaw ni Tobias, kaya’t nagpasya si Karisma na pilitin ito at ligawan. Mapapapayag niya kaya ito?

April Hreghen Atienza ay ang babaeng gustong gusto si Sammuel Lazarus Sandoval. She like Sammuel so much kaya ginawa niya ang lahat mapansin lang siya ng crush niya. Dahil sa pag-iibigan nilang dalawa, nalihis sila ng daan. Parehong bumagsak ang grado nila dahil hindi nila natutokan ang kanilang pag-aaral. Nawasak ang kanilang puso, nasaktan, umiyak, nagdusa, naghabol at pilit na pinapatatag ang relasyon. Paano nila maibabalik ang dating sigla ng pag-iibigan? Ang tanong... maibabalik pa ba ang dating pinagsamahan?

Siya yung tipo ng babae na exaggerated mag-isip. Sobrang layo ang nararating ng utak niya, sweet at mabait pero may pagkatang* at childish nga lang siya. Yun ba'ng lagi nalang siya nasasabit sa gulo dahil sa pagiging down to the highest level niya'ng mag-isip. She's Amie Hera Madrigal. What if dahil sa katangahan nito ay makikilala niya ang hindi inaasahang tao? A man that might think every girls dream. Isa lang naman ito sa pinakasucessfull businessman. Nah, scartch that. Isang aroganteng tao. A man who hates stupid people the most. That man is King Alexander Jauqez, a boss from hell. He is worst than a control freaking dictator. He is the saboteur of office romance, and no one ever dare to obey him. May pag-asa kaya na magkasundo silang dalawa? Ngayon pa at parehas nilang kailangan ang isa't isa o mauuwi ito sa walang hangganang bangayan? May pag-asa ba na mabuo ang salitang "Love"? Is there really a happy ending in every story? Or not every story has one?

A little over a month pregnant, I was happily looking forward to my wedding—until my fiance teamed up with my parents and brothers to put me on trial at the Court of Justice. They fabricated charge after charge, hoping to have me executed in the name of the law. If the judge found me guilty, I would be sentenced to death on the spot. Once I was dead, my corneas would be transplanted into my adopted sister, and everything I owned—my assets and insurance—would be claimed by them. Faced with my fiance’s betrayal and my family’s treachery, I fought back. I demanded the judge use the latest medical technology to extract my memories and project them on the big screen, letting the judge and hundreds of public jurors decide my fate. Just as everyone was smugly certain of their victory, the truth revealed by my memories moved the entire courtroom to tears.

My husband, Malcolm Thorpe, has low sperm motility. After 33 rounds of IVF, I finally got pregnant. On delivery day, I start hemorrhaging, and the medical team calls for an emergency C-section. Malcolm signs the consent form, then rushes straight back to his childhood sweetheart's birthday party. But instead of starting the C-section, the surgeon says, "Ms. Jacobson, the electronic medical record lists you as single. This consent form isn't valid." I stop breathing for a beat. The happy marriage I believe in turns out to be a sham. Later, Mom and Dad rush in and sign the consent for me. But by then, the baby is gone. The asphyxia lasted too long. After surgery, I scrawl my name on the cremation consent with shaking hands, then dial a number without thinking. "Samuel, are you free now? Meet me in front of City Hall."

She is the heavenly young lady of Gunn, who should be happy, carefree and active, loved and spoiled by her parents, but the bottomless greed of the unscrupulous person has ruined her family. Her parents died, her inheritance was taken away, she fell into a tragic situation, not knowing what to do. But she was not willing, her parents' whole life poured their hearts into Gunn's group, she couldn't let it fall into the hands of others. She promised herself that she would take back everything that belonged to her. In one incident, she helped a man. She didn't know that that man was Brene Brian, the CEO of the JA multinational corporation, also the most powerful man in the country S. It was also because of this coincidence that made two people from strange to familiar, then tied their lives together without realizing it. Sweet Pea secretly exclaims: "Brene Brian, thank you. Fortunately, every step of the way, I still have you by my side. Thank you very much!"

The Internet is shocked when Peyton Grant, an award-winning actor takes his life. His final tweet before his death is short and simple. "I like you so, so much, Ri. But you're too bright—you burn me whenever I get close to you." Everyone knows Rita York's character in her new show is called Rina. That's when I learn that the person I've had a crush on for a decade has someone that he loves but can't have. When I wake up one day, I find that I've traveled back three years in time. This time, I'm going to help Peyton make his wish come true.

Elizabeth Lancaster, an 18 year old brought up with strict values and in a cold and stern environment, gets her first wish to venture to the outside world and taste freedom and gain new experiences and most importantly, FRIENDS. William Warren, a 19 year old college sophomore studying in the most sought after University, lacks nothing in life be it friends, girls, popularity, fame even money. He has everything but still isn't satisfied with life till someone manages to catch his attention. And boy is that someone so damn interesting that she knocked his soul out of his body the first time he laid eyes on her. Now he wants her, and the chase is about to begin but it is unclear who became the prey and who the hunter along the way.