Collins’ and Alan’s story wasn’t like that of most werewolf mates. They’d both been through a lot when they finally found each other. But now she’s off to college, and he’s training fighters for the impending pack wars. The biggest thing keeping them apart now, however, is themselves. She hopes he will wait for her, but her past threatens to ruin their relationship before it even begins. Alan is being tested left and right. But the true test, is whether or not he will love a ghost for the rest of his life. The odds are stacking against them. Will love overcome it all? Or will it ruin them, and rip them to shreds, one small piece at a time?
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Floating Under Water - John Coggins Exile(feat. Bon Iver) - Taylor Swift Silhouette- Active Child Always Been You - Katie Hargrove & Harry Baymiller Stay - Cat Power Goodbye - Cage the Elephant Death Rattle - Andrew Lockington Bullet - (Vampire Redux) Ryan Star Paradise - Bazzi Ordinary - Alex Warren Lovin On Me - Jack Harlow Down On Life - Elliphant Houdini - Foster The People Circles - Mac Miller Wait - M83 Passo Bem Solto (super slowed) - ATLXS Light a Fire - Rachel Taylor Meant to Be - The Prams Upside of Down - SVRCINA Flights - Eric Matthys & Ovrthro Outro - M83 Terrible Love - The National Pretty Little Poison - Warren Zeiders Wasted my Time - Default Skin - Zola Jesus To Love - Suki Waterhouse Joanna - Def Joe Oblivion - Bastille Everlasting Lover - 49 Winchester Something About You - Level 42 Twice - Little Dragon Dauoalogn - Sigur Ros Be Still - The Fray Never Tear Us Apart - INXS Fade Into You - Mazzy Star Into Your Arms(slowed & reverb) - Whitt Lowrey feat. Ava Max Medicine - Daughter Still Don’t Know My Name - Labrinth All I Want - Kodaline Wings - Birdy Closed Shades - Crozet Roslyn - Bon Iver & St. Vincent Hold On We’re Going Home - Drake(feat. Majid Jordan) To Build a Home - The Cinematic Orchestra The Argument - Aidan Hawken Cold World - Jon E. K. I made it - Kevin Rudolph Hero - Reddy Redd In Red and Blue - Adalita We’re Running out of Time - Alan Silvestri Changes - Black Sabbath Human - Civil Twilight Shelter - Birdy ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ PROLOGUE Collins When I was a little girl my grandfather would tell me stories. Stories about his people and their culture. Stories about my mother when she was a child. Stories about the great eagle.. our pack symbol.. and of it’s protection over us. And…. stories about wolves. One in particular he used to tell me all the time was the tale of the two wolves. The legend was the first werewolf that was created had two wolves inside him , not one. The two wolves fought against each other for control. One was good, and one was bad. When I had asked him what happened .. he told me nobody knew for sure, only that the strongest wolf had been the one to survive. “You have the two wolves inside of you now…” grandfather had said. I gasped… my eyes widening. “I do??” I asked him. “Yes. By the time of your first shift, whichever one is the strongest.. will be the one that emerges,”. He said. I thought about that for a moment. Then decided I would always be good. I would be the best person, best friend and daughter.. and surely that way the good wolf inside me would become the strongest. I didn’t want to have a bad wolf. When I told this to grandfather, he smiled at me. “Will it work?” I asked him. “I don’t know..” he said. “But there is always a choice. A choice to be good or bad. And I think if you make the right decisions in life, you will be rewarded. And having a good wolf is is a pretty nice reward, wouldn’t you say?” I nodded. “If you always remember no matter what you do, what path you walk, or what hand you play… that you will always have a choice. You will go far in life nôsisim.” He told me. As I got older I began to think my grandfather had just told me that story to scare me into behaving. I had always been a little mischievous before that. I was the rambunctious one who had always wanted to run and play and get dirty, getting into everything…causing chaos wherever I went. My mother said it was my overly curious mind that caused this. Now however…. I had no doubt people had either good wolves or bad wolves. I had seen and heard too many things in my short life that proved it. My grandfather had been right, at least about the two wolves. Not only that, the same could be said for humans. They might not have the two wolves inside them fighting. But they had something that made them come out inherently good, or completely evil. I had witnessed that as well. I had experienced that… up close. And because of that experience? Now we had to leave our pack. I had to say goodbye to my grandfather and my best friends. I had to leave the college that I had been going to for two years. I had to say goodbye to the warm sunshine.. and trade in my sandals and cut offs for sweaters and boots. All because MY human… had masked his evil and covered it with good. And I hadn’t seen through it. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ On the day we were leaving our pack, my grandfather slipped something into my hand. “For good luck, nôsisim.” He told me. It was a beautiful necklace, a strand of Navajo beads that I knew he had made himself. It was a cherished gift from my grandfather that I would forever keep close to my heart and never remove…. hoping and wishing that it really would bring me good luck. I certainly could use some. I hugged him tightly. “Thank you nimosom, I love you.” I told him. Saying goodbye to such a constant in my life felt like half of my heart was being ripped out. Moving to a new pack in the north certainly created distance between my demons and I. But it didn’t keep the memories or the nightmares away. I didn’t dare tell my parents. They had enough to deal with. But every single night I woke up in a cold sweat from the dreams. I had to talk myself down from the ledge.. Garrett isn’t here… Garrett isn’t coming back…. Garrett can’t hurt you anymore. I clutched my necklace… trying to even out my breathing. It’s funny…. how dreams seem so real sometimes. Or maybe you’re in such a nightmare… you wish it was just a dream. Yes, my grandfather was right about the two wolves. But I think he was wrong about the choices. There may always be a choice. But sometimes, that choice is taken away from you.Epilogue Collins It has been the most amazing summer I’d ever had. I’d spent so much time with my family and friends… gotten to hang out with everyone and do just normal daily activities. I played with Cade, my baby brother. I went on horseback rides with Cristoff and played games on the Xbox with him. We’d even gone over to Emily’s and played with her kids too. We spent a lot of time at Emily’s house with her and Lo. We had cookouts and swimming in the lake that was in her backyard. We had bonfires and camp outs and slept in sleeping bags outdoors. The girls and I went shopping and to the salon a few times. We even went and saw a couple movies in the theater in the little town close to us. And I shifted and ran every single day. It was life changing, the freedom of it all. Mom and I cooked together and she told me stories of her childhood. My dad and I had spent some time together too. He apologized to me again for everything that happened and what I had seen when I was fou
Alan It was our last night at home. We were leaving the next day to go back to Lorenzo’s pack. I’d been busy all day working with Brian. I had to go around and see a lot of the pack members as well. It was important that they see me at home. I’d been gone so much lately. But they all knew why and they all understood. Everyone I had talked to and met with thanked me profusely for what I’d done. I was grateful they didn’t hold it against me in any way whatsoever. But it seemed like I didn’t have to worry about that at all. Saving people from crazy rogue wolves trumps beta duties apparently. At least … beta duties in person. Because I’d still been doing them this entire time. Goddess knows, I was ready for a break though. Doing two jobs this past year had worn me out. I was still thinking about this when I came out of the bathroom. Then I stopped dead in my tracks. Collins was laying on the bed. The same way she had every night we had stayed here. Usually on her phone or readi
Collins I’d gotten back from my beach trip feeling a new sense of peace and happiness. My skin tanner and my hair lighter than it’s normal dark brown. We’d had the perfect vacation… spending our days at the beach, reading and playing and swimming. We had each gotten a section of our hair beaded and even received henna tattoos. We’d gone into the stores and bought T-shirts and sweat pants with the name of the beach on them. Every touristy thing you could think of … we’d done it. I’d also caught up with Sloan, Sara , and Abbey. We’d fallen right back into our friendships as if we’d spent no time apart at all. Spending time at the ocean and with all the girls and getting to see my grandfather had meant the world to me. But I had missed Alan. When I asked him what he’d gotten up to he just grinned really big and said ‘not much’. I know he had gone back to his home pack for part of the time but he was here for a couple days too. He told me he’d hung out with my dad and Lorenzo…
AlanI looked over at Lorenzo who was squatting down beside me. “Is this a good idea?” I asked him. “Probably not. But.. you don’t want to back out do you?” He asked me. “Fuck no.” I told him. “Too late now anyway.” Cyrus Manning said on the other side of me. It wasn’t. We could leave and forget it. But I didn’t want to. I actually couldn’t fucking wait to do this. I had assumed it would just me and Collins’ dad here. But I had underestimated Lorenzo’s hatred for this guy. So he insisted on coming along as well. We’d gotten lucky… Remington.. the guy that Collins had met and gotten to know had been keeping tabs for us. Once I found out the asshole was being kept close to where Remington lived.. I asked him to check on him. So he was able to let us know the day of his release. Fucking Garrett. He’d been in jail for only a while.. but I was actually shocked his family didn’t throw their money around and get him out sooner. He had gone to jail in the town where the dance co
Collins Jenny and I high fived each other. We’d just finished our last final. And we were done with school. At least for the summer. I was excited for the break.. and ready for some rest and relaxation. Amazingly .. the sun finally came out here and it got almost warm. It was actually beautiful weather. Not hot… but just right. Jenny and I had packed up our clothes … leaving our room the way it was for when we came back to school in the fall. I took a good look around … feeling sad for a moment… remembering everything that had happened since I’d been here. But.. my therapist would tell me.. it’s fine to remember the past.. just don’t relive it. And I knew that’s what I needed to do .. look toward the future. I hugged Jenny tightly… not wanting to let her go. She was clutched on to me as well. Then we both started to cry. I then laughed through my tears. “This is ridiculous. We’re going to see each other in two weeks.” I said. “That’s such a long time…” Jenny said still c
Alan I had just stepped out of the shower when my sister called. She wanted me to come over to her house. Even though the wars and fighting were in the past. I was still coming to Lorenzo’s pack. I’d just gone home and stayed for two weeks while Collins had gone back to school. She was coming home this weekend and I couldn’t wait to see her. Things had been going great with us. It was a Friday night and I’d just gotten here. But when Emily calls you answer or else she will just bug you to death. So I took my ass over there right after I put clothes on. After the initial hellos to Lo and the kids I went in the kitchen where Emily was sitting at the huge island Lo had built for her. “What’s up?” I asked her as she gave me a hug. “A few things .. actually.” She said. I raised my eyebrows until she continued. “Well first of all.. I wanted you to know.. I’ve been speaking with Ingrid.” She said. That actually shocked me. I knew Ingrid and Collins had spoken. And things had gone w
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