Don't break me again

Layla's POV

I fell with a harsh thud, the harsh sun glaring down at me as I groaned in pain. I seriously hated training days ago. It was my worst day of the week, not to mention I was the most hated in this Pack. I had zero friends. All the girls in the Pack hated the fact that I was getting married to the Alpha. I had a wicked uncle and an annoying cousin. The only good thing happening in my life right now is the fact that I was going to be happily married to Alpha Bastian Hendery. He was the only one in my life who made me happy. If it wasn’t for him, I would have run away from Crimson Moon Pack a long time ago. At least planning our wedding has gotten my mind off some things.

The snickering of other wolves snapped me out of my daydream. Suddenly, I was pulled up gently by a firm hand. Even though I felt my insides burning from that kick Rachel just gave me, but seeing Bastian’s face up-close was giving me butterflies in my stomach. He led me gently to my seat, kissing the top of my head before he went back to training other wolves. The nasty look I was getting from different wolves was not really settling, but I have learned to ignore them. I just don’t understand why Bastian always makes me spar with Rachel. He knew how brutal she got whenever it was time for our training. 

Deciding not to dwell much on that, I focused on the training only to see him wrapping it up. Rachel glared at me before walking off with her posse.

“Are you okay, babe? That was a really hard kick to the stomach. What did you ever do to Rachel that made her hate you so much? You have to fight back. I believe you are a very strong wolf, it’s just a matter of time before you reveal your true self.” 

The statement confused me. What the hell was he talking about? What other self am I revealing? Was there any more of me remaining that I had no idea about?

I shook my head. “She is just mad that I am better than she was in everything,“ I replied, then huffed. “I have always been smarter.” 

I wasn’t trying to sound like a narcissist or anything like that, but I knew I was prettier than her, and she just couldn’t stand the fact that I was soon to wed Bastian. 

“I don’t want to talk about my cousin. Are you joining me for the cake tasting? You know our wedding is just days away, and we still haven’t made a decision yet.” He was always busy. Sometimes, I wondered if he really wants to get married to me or was just doing it out of pity. I knew I wasn’t supposed to be thinking that way, but I couldn’t help it. 

“Why haven’t you really participated in planning our wedding? What is up with that, Bastian?” I asked, looking at him.

Bastian sat beside me, wrapping his arms around my body, rubbing his hands soothingly on my arm.

“Where is all this coming from? I love you, and that is why I’m getting married to you. Whatever negative thought you’re having, that’s not true. You know I am not that kind of person, Layla,” he sighed. 

I sighed as well. I knew being an Alpha was not an easy task, and running a huge company all by himself was taking a toll on him, but still…

“Don’t worry, I will go with you for the cake tasting. We are going to get married and I couldn’t be happier. I just need you to stand up to your cousin for once and all the bullies. Show them what you are made of. Show them how powerful you can be. You are going to be my Luna. I need to see your powers, Layla. What about the dreams you keep having? Are you not getting any answers about that?” Sebastian probed, looking at me. 

I shrugged his hand off. Not this again. He should be talking about our wedding that was coming up and the preparations for it, not this. I don’t understand why Bastian was so obsessed with the fact that I wasn’t as strong as my cousin or as any other wolf in the Pack. What was he hiding from me, truly? 

“That isn’t important, especially right now. I am not two, Bastian. The moon goddess may have given me everything, except enough strength. We can’t have it all now, can we?” 

I was really trying my best to brush up on my skills as a wolf, but it seems I could never be stronger than this. I knew I was the weakest in the Pack, and I was constantly reminded of that every single day of my life. My fiancé didn’t need to add to that. Did he think I was not trying to beat Rachel or any of the other wolves bullying me?! I am trying, but I can’t push myself any harder!

I took a deep breath to gather myself, and spoke. 

“You just have to accept me this way. We love each other and that is the most important. Why are you so hell-bent on me showing you powers that I obviously don’t have? What is going on, Bastian? Are you hiding something from me?” I asked once again.

He stood up hastily, running his fingers through his hair, frustration written all over his face, then let out a low growl. The look he gave me was a little bone chilling; so much so that it made me really skeptical. 

My eyes narrowed. Why was he acting this way? Did I do something wrong? I stood up as well, cautiously taking a step back. I felt as if I was looking at a stranger.

“You are not trying hard enough, Layla!” Bastian barked. “I am the Alpha, and my Luna is meant to have a little bit of strength in her. I am sick and tired of the fact that you are always defeated every time we have training. I can’t stand the idea of you being hurt, the thought of you not being able to defend yourself,” he continued, running his hand through his hair.

“I have told you that I can take you down to the laboratory, just to have them run a little test on you, a little examination. It wouldn’t hurt at all. You just have to trust me on that. Maybe something would give you a little bit of a head start to show your true self.” 

At this point, I was frustrated in our conversation. I shook my head stubbornly. There is no way I am doing that. I am not going to be sprawled on the table for some scientist to examine me like some sort of lab rat. 

“No. I have told you countless times, I am not doing it. You can’t force me. I’m sorry Bastian, but I have to go. I will see you later this evening.” 

I turned my back on him to walk away but he gripped my arm tightly. I winced in pain. Fear gripped me as bad memories flashed in my mind, and behind my eyes as tears brimmed in them. He seemed to get a hold of himself and let me go, smiling widely, but I was not feeling comfortable anymore in his presence, especially not at the moment.

I left in a hurry with my thoughts in disarray.