Will Never Feel Longing For You

Savanah White POV

I am standing outside a café after meeting my friend for a long time.

I touch my womb when my baby kicks.

I smiled. She’s the reason why I am still fighting.

Dark days will pass, and her smile will be my light.

I decided to walk even the rain didn’t stop. Luckily, I bring my umbrella.

I always remember him when it rains.

Before, I always smile upon hearing his name, but now all I felt is complete pain.

I touch my womb again, feeling sorry for my unborn child.

I wish I can turn back the time when everything is fine.

But I can’t undo the pain we’ve been through.

I reached my home safely and decided to make a drink.

I sat on the front porch while sipping my green tea.

Three months to go, then I will see the sunshine of my light.

I hum a song and massage my belly.

I will do everything for you, my child.

I got up and decided to take a rest.

I touch my necklace.

It is not glowing as it uses to.

I bet it died on the day I left the place where I feel welcomed.

Sometimes, things will not get to the path like what you have imagined.

We should accept the fate on our hands for us to move on.

I saw my phone ringing.

I answered it. It was Aly.

“Sav!” I heard a commotion in the other line.

“What’s happening?” I ask worriedly. I disregard the fact that she is one of the people who hurts me.

“He needs you.” I sigh.

“It is because of the full moon.” I look outside. The moon is now visible.

“We can’t stop him.” I heard his painful howl. It was his wolf controlling him.

“Sorry,” I hang it up, and I let a tear escape from my eyes.

He doesn’t love me.

I know he didn’t love me.

I throw my phone into the wall.

I should cut my connections with them.

The following day, I decided to take a walk in the park. I saw many couples and even families exercising, and some of them just sitting while feeling the morning breeze.

When I am about to leave the place, I saw Aly.

“Savanah, we need to talk!”

“What do you want?” I ask coldly.

I remember the day when she confesses that she just uses me also.

It was heartbreaking knowing your friend was using you for her own advantage.

“You’re pregnant?” I touch my belly like I am protecting it from her.

“Just go to the point.” I spit. She looks at me worriedly.

Those fake eyes.

“He’s going bad. We can’t tame him anymore. Only you can be the solution for that.”

“What do you want me to do? To get in there as nothing happened? If it means nothing to you, then for me, it is a nightmare! I regret meeting you all.” I saw the pain in her eyes, but I already know it is not real. They are good at pretending.

“He’s also hurt.” I shook my head, not believing what she has said.

I turn around, not taking a glance.

I touch my bump when my baby kicks.

Sorry baby, I promise I will not let you meet the people that can cause you harm.

I will do anything to protect you from them.

I clutch my chest when I feel I am losing my breath.

“H-help!” I look around, and I saw nothing.

My bump also aches.

“No, baby, hold on.” I gasp when a sudden pain strikes.

I feel my eyes glowing.

No, not now.

“Argh!”

I run toward the trees making sure no one can see me.

I know I am transforming.

I keep myself from shifting because I am living in the mortal world.

I need to get out of this place because Aly already knows I am pregnant.

I know she will tell it to their King.

My used to be Alpha.

“Aahh!”

I fight my inner wolf even it means I will lose her.

What the point of saving it when I know she will die being taken away from her mate.

“Please not now,” I pleaded to her.

I hear thumps as I was completely losing my strength.

I saw a shadow before passing out.

I woke up feeling heavy.

I roamed my eyes to the place where I am currently in.

I got up and rushed to go out.

But the door is locked.

I bang it hard.

“Get me out of here!” I tried my best to open it up.

I sigh and take a breath.

I sat down on the bed.

I saw food at the side table.

I sniff it, and it was safe.

Damn these pregnancy hormones. It wanted me to eat foods that I don’t know who prepares it.

I finish it all.

I can’t believe I can eat so much food.

The doors open and I saw them.

My twins.

“Here’s your water.” I bit my lip as I feel their cold tone and feel their cold and emotionless eyes.

They used to be bright.

“Alistair, Alexander.” They just look at me like they didn’t know me.

“Anything else?” I now understand where I am.

In their mansion.

“Nothing,” I answered, not looking at them.

I can’t stand it anymore.

I feel like I want to cry my heart out.

I think I am the reason for their cold eyes and treatment.

“You promised you would never leave us,” Alexander said straightly, looking into my eyes.

“You just broke it and left us behind, letting us suffered. You could just bring us.” His voice is full of torment.

“I’m sorry….” I whispered and cried.

“You said you would stay?” My heart aches as I remember how they beg me to stay.

“Is it because we're not your children?”

I shook my head and tried to walk towards them.

“Stop!” Alistair shouted.

I got to my knees and bowed my head.

I just hear a loud bang on the door. They left me.

“I am so sorry.” I repeatedly said even I know they can’t hear me anymore.

I slowly got up.

If you just knew how I fight my own feelings just to be with you. I am sorry for giving you up. I am really sorry, my sons.

I look at myself in the mirror.

I am just a great disappointment.

The door opened again, and I know who it was.

My alpha.

I didn’t look at him.

I am afraid to see the look on his face.

His stoic face after saying he didn’t love me keeps flashing.

It’s tormenting me.

It breaks me into pieces.

It gives me nightmares almost every night.

I wish I can bring back the day when all of this started.