بعد أن أصابني السرطان، تبرع زوجي بكليتي إلى حبيبته

With a beaming smile on my face, my mind raced as I drove us towards our surprise date. My proposal to Aubrey wasn’t exactly special. We'd had an Alpha sniffing around in the woods, and Aubrey had asked me to turn her. She didn’t want her family, or my pack having to protect her any longer. She wanted to be strong in her own right. That’s when I explained that we’d have to get married before I could turn her. With a little more hesitation than I felt comfortable with, she agreed. I wanted to make tonight perfect, by proposing to her properly and romantically. She deserved a night that she’d never forget. One she'd be proud to tell our children and grandchildren about. I wanted to show her exactly how much she meant to me and that she was my one, my only, my everything.

To be honest, I still couldn’t believe that the most incredible Scion had strolled right into my life, and she was about to become my wife. Aubrey and I had known each other only a short while, but in that time, she had become my entire world. I couldn’t imagine myself with anyone else.  I wished I could say that she felt the same way.

My smile gradually faded.

"So, I was thinking of Paris for our honeymoon?" I questioned Aubrey with a side glance, hopeful that I’d made the right suggestion.

She didn’t bother to look at me when she replied, "um-hm."

I turned my attention back to the road ahead, gripping hold of the steering wheel a little tighter.

"Or maybe somewhere else in Europe? I know you loved the idea of going there..."

"Ah-huh," she mumbled.

She clearly wasn't paying the slightest bit of attention to what I was saying.

"Or we can go somewhere hotter, like Hawaii or something?"

"Yeah, sounds good."

Fuck this!

"Or maybe we'll just fly to the moon?" I growled, hoping it would snap her out of her daydream. It didn’t.

"Yeah, that would be perfect," she replied while continuing to stare out of the car window.

"Aubrey!" I snapped, quickly pulling a "huh?" From her lips.

"Are you even listening to me? I'm trying to plan our honeymoon here, and you're acting like you don’t give a shit. What gives?"

"Nothing. I'm sorry. I guess I'm just a little distracted."

No shit. She's been like this for weeks. I can't take it anymore.

"A little? Are you kidding me? It's like you're not even here anymore. I'm pretty much planning this whole wedding with Payton and your mother," I yelled, then paused as I skidded the car to a stop at the side of the road.

She flew forward then slammed back into her seat. Usually, I would have felt guilty for hurting her, but at this precise moment, I was beyond angry. She stared at me while I gripped the steering wheel tight enough to make my knuckles turn white. I took in a deep breath, and eventually exhaled it, trying my best to calm myself.

“Look, if you don't want to do this, I understand. We can call it all off," I virtually whispered while twisting my hands around the steering wheel.

I don’t want her to call it off, and I certainly don’t understand. How can she still be in love with him? He’s gone, and he's never coming back. Fuck!

"I don't understand. Of course, I don't want you to call it off. I love you..." She replied as she leaned forward and cupped my chin with her hand.

I wanted to believe her, I really did, but she had been so distant lately, I knew something wasn’t right. She tried to turn my head to look at her, but I knew as soon as my eyes met those beautiful blue pools, I’d be putty in her hands. I loved the girl more than I’d ever thought was possible. No one came close to her.

The day she crashed into my life, flying panties and dildo in tow, I knew she was the one. I couldn’t explain it. I’d never told a girl that I loved them before, but the moment I looked into her gorgeous eyes I wanted to blurt the words out right then and there.

I pushed her hands away and averted my gaze, you need to be strong, Chase.

That didn’t last long. The AC picked up her delicious scent and floated it right under my nose, as if trying to tease me. Taking in her hypnotic smell, I couldn’t help but look at her. It was like she had strings controlling every inch of me. I spoke softly to her, the whole situation was breaking my heart, and I couldn’t bear it any longer.

"I love you too. More than you can possibly imagine. I've loved you since the first day you arrived here and slammed into me with your box of underwear. Hell, even seeing you blush after I tripped over your vibrator made me love you even more. But I'm not convinced this is what you really want, that I’m who you really want."

It’s about time she knew. I know what she truly feels, and who she is in love with, and it’s not me.

She placed her hand over her face, closed her eyes, and sighed.

"Of course, I want you. I want this, want a future with you. I love you, Chase."

"You love Jesse!" I growled.

I couldn’t help how it came out, admitting it out loud absolutely crushed me. I loved her more than I loved myself, more than I loved anyone or anything in this world, but she still loved him.

Her hand fell from her face and her eyes sprung open in shock, "What?"

"You heard me. You dream about him all the damn time, and you call out his name while you sleep. Even when you're with me, you're not really there. You're off in some dreamland with him, aren't you?" I had to keep my voice low, if I lost control right now, I wasn’t sure how far I’d take it.

She sat in front of me and just stared into my eyes, not saying a damn word, while my heart broke in front of her. After a few minutes, I closed my eyes and sighed, turning the car around to take her back to the Sorority house. I drove in silence, and she did nothing to ease the tension. It was clear to me that she wasn’t going to fight for me, for us.

It hurts so damn much. I’m losing her... No... How can I lose someone that was never mine to begin with? Her heart was always his.

 I had no choice but to go ahead with my dad’s plan. There was no way I could marry Aubrey knowing that she would never love me the way she loved my cousin.

I’ve got no choice. I’ve got to leave her. I’m not strong enough to stay... I really wish I was.

I pulled up outside the Sorority house. I could tell she was waiting for me to get out of the car, but I wasn’t going to. I couldn’t, my legs felt like jelly. I just sat there gripping the steering wheel again, staring straight ahead.

"Get out, Aubrey," my voice sounding defeated.

"What? Aren't you coming in? We need to talk about this..."

"No, we don't. It's simple, we're done, it's over..."

The words cut through my heart, and it took all I had to keep my emotions in check.

She grabbed my arm and cried out, "What? No, it's not. Chase look at me!"

I pushed her hand off my arm and turned my head away from her, I didn’t want her to see the tear that had escaped my eye and was now crawling down my cheek.

"Chase, please don't do this. Look at me. Please, Chase, I love you. We can work through this..." She begged.

I couldn’t answer her, if I did, I was sure the words would come out shaky, instantly giving her the opportunity to talk me round. I needed to stay strong.

Slowly I got out of the car, and with carefully placed steps, I moved to her door and opened it.

"Please get out of the car, Aubrey. I need to leave..."

She did as she was asked and got out of the car, but she didn’t stand still. Instead, she threw her arms around me. I didn’t return the hug but stood rigid with my arms hanging at my sides. I wanted to melt into her embrace, but I felt betrayed, hurt, crushed. Tears stained her cheeks, and when she angled her head to look at me, I started crying too.

I couldn’t remember the last time I’d cried. I had never been one to let the softer side of me out. I was a future Alpha; I couldn’t look weak. I took in a deep breath through my nose, pulling back the tears, the pain, and shoving them as far down as I could.

"Chase, please don't leave," she begged, her voice as broken as my heart.

"Aubrey, I have to... My heart is breaking, and I can't keep competing with a dead man," my voice cracked a little as I wiggled out of her grip. Her amazingly soft and warm embrace, one I wasn’t sure I’d ever feel again.

With those words said, I turned and walked towards the driver’s side of the car. After one last agonizing gaze at her, I got inside my car, closed the door, and sped off. That was the moment I'd left my heart in Murston. I was now alone, broken, and encircled by eternal emptiness. I had no one else to blame, it was HIS fault.