霜落ちて、別れの季節に

     There are people that you have to let go of even if you want to keep them.

    There are people who, even if they make you happy, you need to avoid.

   There are decisions that you have to make even if you're forced to.

   There are times when if you do the right thing, you will be the one who will suffer.

   And there are things that if you insist on in the end, you will still be the one who will be hurt.

  ***********

    “Mom, where is Uncle Vince? We've been waiting here for an hour, I'm tired.”

   I smiled while watching my child, who had a cute scowl on his handsome face. I removed my face mask since no one would probably notice me here, and everyone is busy, plus I am wearing a eyeglasses. It's a good thing I didn't say that we're going back to the Philippines, no media, my child and I are safe.

  We're here at NAIA waiting for my brother Vince. He volunteered to pick us up because he wants to see his nephew right away. Unfortunately, he texted that he's stuck in traffic and will take a while to pick us up. The little kid next to me is already bored and tired. His expression is no longer recognizable.

   “Mom, why is it so hot here in the Philippines?" he asked, frowning. I pinched his chubby cheek, amazed at how observant this child is.

  “Because it's already summer here. It's hotter during this season than in Canada, baby," I said sweetly, wiping the sweat on his forehead.

   I thought my brother would arrive quickly, so we went out and waited outside the airport. If I had known that we would be picked up late, we wouldn't have gone out. This child is not used to the heat, and he's becoming more and more grumpy.

   “Why is Uncle Vince not here yet? Malayo po ba ang bahay ni Papang and Mamang dito?” he asked again, this time in Tagalog. I chuckled at his accent. Even though we are in Canada, I taught him to speak Tagalog. He still needs to learn it since he's pure Filipino. Now he's speaking in Taglish. He's cute.

  "Why are you laughing, Mom?" he asked with a pout, and his cheek turned red. My baby is shy, huh? He's been asking a lot of questions since earlier, and he's actually bored now.

  "Sorry, Baby, you're too cute to speak Tagalog. Anyway, we're not going to your grandparents' house. We're going to the Sandoval Condominium that your Aunt Ninang owns. I bought a large unit there and had it remodeled according to my design. Mommy is still looking for land where we can build our own house. Is it okay with you if we stay in the condo for now?"

    "As long as we're together, Mom, it's okay with me." I smiled at his answer and leaned over to kiss him on the forehead. Even though he can be moody, grumpy, possessive, and protective at times, he's still sweet. It's undeniable that he inherited his traits from his father, not just in personality but also in looks. He looks just like his father.

  And suddenly, the memory and pain of the past came back again. I remembered how I broke up with him, how he begged me to stay when I said I was leaving. I could see how he cried in front of me, his pleading eyes filled with pain and tears.

  If I hadn't left the Philippines, I might not be with my son now. I don't regret my decision to stay away. My son's safety is more important than my love for Xander.

  “Mom, is there a problem? Why are you sad? Are you okay?” I blinked and returned to reality upon hearing my child's voice. I turned to Lex, who was looking up at me with concern on his face. I smiled at him and nodded.

 “I'm fine, baby. Mommy is tired too,” I said and smiled. I didn't want him to worry, even though he's only six years old, his mind is quite broad, and he thinks and acts maturely.

  “Hm, can I borrow your phone, Mom?” I was puzzled by what he said.

  “Why?” I asked, wondering why he suddenly looked serious.

  “I'll call Uncle Vince and ask where he is. I'm hungry, Mom. Can we go to Jollibee later? I want to eat a sundae.” Ah, I see, I thought he had some serious matters to discuss. Turns out, my baby is just hungry.

  I reached into my bag, took out my phone, and handed it to him with a smile.

  “Here, you can call your uncle now.” He quickly took it and called his uncle. I knew that Kuya (Uncle) was safe even if Alexis called because he was using earphones for sure.

  “Hello, Uncle Vince? It's me, Alexis. Where are you now?” I smiled while looking at him. He had a serious expression while talking to his uncle, and he was very polite.

 “She's here next to me. She's tired, yes, me too. Okay, we are here in the waiting area. Okay, see you. Bye!” He smiled, then turned to me and handed me the phone.

  “Thank you, Mom. Just wait a little; Uncle is nearby.” I nodded as I put the phone back in my bag. I also organized our luggage and stood up.

  After a minute, a red car stopped in front of us. My older brother came out of the car with an apologetic smile on his face. He quickly approached us to help with our luggage.

  “Sorry for the long wait, Vi. There was heavy traffic,” he explained as he came close to us. He hugged me tightly and kissed my forehead before turning to his nephew, who was now frowning.

  “Buddy! Welcome home. Give us a smile!” My brother messed up his hair, causing his nephew to frown even more.

  “Kuya, please don't tease him. He's been impatient and hungry since earlier,” I intervened with my brother, fearing that my son might get annoyed due to his temperamental nature.

  “Oh, is that so? Alright, get in the car. I'll put your luggage in the trunk. Then, we'll have a meal at a restaurant.” He quickly replied. Well, it seems like my moody child wants Jollibee.

  “Kuya, let's just go through the Jollibee drive-thru. That's what Alexis wants.” He nodded and glanced at the quiet child.

  “Alright, Jollibee it is then. Go, get in the car." I nodded and helped Lex get inside the car. I adjusted the air conditioning and aimed it at him. His frown disappeared as soon as he felt the cool air. He can be quite irritable when it's hot. Sigh…

  A little while later, my brother got into the car and started driving.

   “If we pass by a Jollibee with not too much traffic, we'll go through the drive-thru. We have to take a detour to get to the nearby Jollibee because there's heavy traffic on our current route,” my brother explained.

  "Okay, Kuya. Maybe in the middle so it won't be too much of a hassle," I replied, turning my attention to Alexis, who was still looking out of the window.

  “You can take a nap and rest for a while Baby,” He turned his gaze to me and shook his head.

  “I'll rest later mom, I'll just wait for us to buy jabee, I want to eat first, Can I borrow your Ipad mom? I'll play with it while waiting.”  

  I nodded and took the iPad from my bag, letting him have it as he wished. It seemed like this would be a long journey, given the heavy traffic.

  Hours passed, and we finally got through the incredibly long traffic. It was already 6 pm. I looked out the window and smiled. I realized how much I missed the Philippines—the heavy traffic, the city lights, and the smell of car exhaust. After so many years, I was back in the Philippines.

  I glanced at Alexis. He was busy watching Naruto. He had borrowed his uncle's phone with AirPods because I didn't have data yet. He even borrowed the phone with unlimited data and AirPods to stay focused on what he was watching.

   My brother stopped the car right in front of Jabee, and I looked at him curiously. He turned to me.

  “I think it's better if you just go inside in jabee. Look at the long line at the drive-thru compared to the inside queue. It will take us an hour here if we go through the drive-thru. Alexis must be hungry,” he suggested. I looked over at the path leading to the drive-thru and indeed, the line was very long. Then I turned my gaze to the inside of Jabee. There were only a few people in line, but many were already eating.

  “Alright, I'm going inside. You and Alexis stay here,” I said. I took the black face mask and my cap from a paper bag. I couldn't go out without wearing these. I also grabbed my wallet and phone.

As I was about to leave, my brother stopped me.

   “Wait, do you have cash?” I turned to him and nodded. Alexis turned his gazed and now staring at me, curious.

  “Where are you going, Mom?” He removed one of his AirPods.

  “Jabee, I'm going to buy our food,” I replied. He glanced outside before nodding. Then he looked back at me.

  “I  want spaghetti, extra-large fries, a sundae, and pineapple juice, Mom.” 

  “Is that all?” I asked, and he nodded before returning his attention to what he was watching. I turned to my brother. “How about you, Kuya? What do you want to eat?” 

  “A Hawaiian burger, fries, and soda are enough.” 

  “Alright.” I was about to leave when my brother stopped me again.

  “Wait, what if I'm the one to order? You can stay here. Someone might recognize you inside. I forgot that you're famous now,” he said, sounding concerned. I shook my head. It's better that I'm the one to order; he might make a mistake. Knowing my brother, he tends to forget things like this.

  “Nah, I'll do it, Kuya. You take care of Alexis for now.” 

  “Are you sure?” 

  “Yeah.” 

  “Alright, be careful.” 

   I nodded and adjusted my mask before carefully stepping out. 

   This is the struggling part when you're a famous model, you need to be careful not to be recognized and mobbed by people.

  My latest magazine cover was just released here in the Philippines last week, and my billboard on Edsa and Taytay started trending. I didn't want them to release it here in the Philippines, but I couldn't do anything if it's what our boss wanted. They've supported me for seven years, so I just let it be.

  I walked casually with my head slightly down towards the entrance of Jollibee.

 “Good evening, ma'am,” the guard greeted as he opened the door. I nodded and greeted him back. I was about to continue walking inside when he held up a baton in front of me. I raised an eyebrow in surprise.

  “Wait, ma'am.” 

  “What?” I asked with a hint of irritation. I didn't want to draw attention to us.

  “Your cap, ma'am, could you please remove it for a moment?" I closed my eyes briefly. Jeez! I forgot about that. I sighed and removed it without a word. Fortunately, I was wearing a mask, so they probably wouldn't recognize me.

  But then, the guard was taken aback. Oh crap! I hope he didn't recognize me.

  “W-wow, ma'am, you look like her, the famous model on social media right now. Just by your eyes, even with a mask, there's a resemblance! She could be your look alike! You could pass for her.” Jeez, I thought he had recognized me. I breathed a sigh of relief, hoping they didn't know that I was returning to the Philippines. Everyone thought I was still in Canada. I didn't announce my return to avoid media attention at the airport.

  “Excuse me, are you two done talking? You're bothering us, and the people at the back are waiting to get inside.” 

  My eyes widened, and I felt like a candle had been suddenly extinguished when I heard that voice. No, I am not mistaken. Even though his voice was colder and more mature, I knew him very well! Oh god, It's him! 

  I was feeling extremely nervous right now. I was sweating even though it was cold, and my hands were trembling. I quickly put the cup back on and rushed inside without saying anything. I joined the middle of the line, hoping slhe wouldn't follow me from behind.

  Anxious and with my eyes squinted, I glanced at the back. I breathed a sigh of relief; He wasn't in the line where I was. I subtly scanned the surroundings and saw him in the second line. It was him Confirmed! Even though many years had passed, I still knew his voice! I swallowed hard as I examined him entirely.

   He grew taller and his physique improved. He was wearing sweatpants and a hoodie jacket. He became more mature and more handsome.

  Wait, what?! I closed my eyes tightly because of my thoughts. I should be thinking about how to leave here quickly, seriously Vivien?! I shouldn't be praising him! Damn it! He shouldn't see me. Our paths should not cross. I just returned to the Philippines, and this is what greets me! 

  Remember, Vivien, even though you loved him before, that man hurt and deceived you! I avoided looking at him and just faced forward.

  It's been 7 years. In those seven years, this is the first time I've seen the man I first loved and the man who broke my heart.

   And he's my son's father, Alexander Blake Montenegro...

***********