All Chapters of The chaos of him: Chapter 121 - Chapter 130

“It’s a battle of the mind. A trauma response, he must have retreated into his mind because he didn’t like reality after a traumatic experience.” Dr. Chase grumbles into the phone speaker, he sounds very annoyed that I called but I don’t really mind, his irrational irritation at me is just one of the things i am willing to tolerate, as long as Elijah is fine. Clenching my phone that somehow managed to survive the crash with a lot of cracks, I press it against my ear as I watch the man I love suffer, unable to do anything but make this call. “There’s nothing like fighting your own mind, especially if the person is strong willed, it’s a double barreled gun really.” he yawns. My stomach clenches around itself, I want to throw up so hard. Elijah is sickeningly strong willed, there’s nothing he’s put his mind to achieve that he doesn’t go full force at. I loved that about him, now, I just want his suffering to end.“There has to be something I can do to help him.”His strained yawn com

“It has been exactly a week since Jazz and Kelly left the hospital, it’s almost unreal isn’t it? They were so noisy and constantly around. I like it when it’s just the two of us.” I tell Elijah as I wipe the back of his hands. He is still asleep.So I talk to him, bring him up to speed with what’s happening around us, including the time I left Jazz and Kelly in here to take a quick shower and when I returned, they were eating each other’s faces. “Letting him know he could have this too if he was awake.” Jazz had said with an easy flourish. Kelly wouldn’t meet my eyes until they left. “Jazz and Kelly?? Kelly and Jazz?? I don’t know how I didn’t see it coming, I mean they are always together. When we get back, I think it’s up to us to give them the talk, as their captains. you know.” I tell him, wiping the rest of his arm. I tell him everything, except the bad stuff, he’s already dealing with bad things in his mind, it would be cruel to add. But I had submitted my resignation, alo

“If you keep staring at me like that, I will shave.”I snort at his threat.“Like you’re willing to leave me for more than two seconds.” I retort.He sighs. “You’re right, I can’t leave you, I won’t leave you.” Smiling to myself, I make room for him in the bed, and pat it.He narrows his eyes at me, making me roll my eyes so hard I probably saw my brain.“I won’t bite, I promise, come into bed with me, I want to feel your body against mine. It’s been far too long.” Plus he hasn’t slept in so long, I know he needs this rest.“Again, you’re right, but I just made a promise that I won’t hurt you. And I won’t be breaking that promise so soon.”Shaking my head, I grit through the pain that follows when I move.“I am on so much pain meds, enough to knock a horse out, I can’t feel the pain at all.”His face looks sick, or like he’s going to be sick. “The point is, you’re in pain.”I roll my eyes,“The meds are taking care of it, allow me take care of you.”“So it’s for me?”I groan.“Has

Viv, Jazz and the others make a fuss over me, Jazz actually had tears on her lashes because she was almost certain I wouldn’t make it back. The faith she has in me is outstanding.While it was nice being cared for, it was nicer to be back. The fact that I almost didn’t come back here makes shivers run down my spine. My mind keeps going back to Jake, the way he spoke in riddles, I asked Jazz and Viv to interpret it, and Jazz shook her head, Viv looked at me like I was stupid. “Do you think he’ll come back soon?? I don’t have a job for him, but I thought we were friends.” I tell Viv.She sighs, sitting at the edge of the bed, she looks so relaxed and at home here. Which is weird to me, I remind myself that she was friends with Jesse before I realized he was in my life. “Jake doesn’t think of you as a friend.” she says with a sigh,Oh. I genuinely thought we became friends somehow… maybe I was the only one thinking of us as friends. “Speaking of friends, you never said anything a

Tonight I had to have my back to him.His arms are around me though, cheeks pressed against the top of my head as we sleep, or pretend to. At least I am pretending.We walked, and talked for hours, and I tried to bring it up, but the nerves make me back down every time, and I swallowed my words, smiling and pretending like the five words aren’t stuck at the back of my throat. His arms tighten around me and pulls me even closer to his body, and weariness seeps into my bones.Even when he has no idea, he still finds a way to soothe my worries. Floating away, I go to sleep with him wrapped around me, I’ll do it tomorrow.I’ll ask him to be my boyfriend tomorrow. It has been nagging at me since, he’s not asked me, and that was okay, I could ask him, for all the things he has done for me, I could ask him to be my boyfriend. The next morning, I wake up to the smell of bacon and eggs, with a groan my eyes are forced open. “Good morning, baby.”I don’t know what gives me the warm feeli